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Guilty daddeeee = huge turn off!

Simpleton21's picture

I know this is my 2nd blog of the day.  Sorry, I just can't with DH today!  He just told me he has to pick SD up from therapy tomorrow for his visit with her and was like, "I wonder how much longer this therapy is gonna last", well it has been ongoing for 7 years now and no changes with SD or BM so I would guess it will be ongoing forever for SD.  

I also just can't keep my damn mouth shut and said, "well it would be nice if they were addressing the real issue of attention seeking and faking injuries and SD soliciting herself online to older couples but I don't think that is being addressed....just how SD still struggles to fit in to our place after 7 damn years...?!?!"

DH actually says, "well I can see why she struggles to fit in, she only has YDS to talk to and me..."....Oh FFS, don't even try this guilt trip with me.  ODS wants nothing to do with her b/c she is a complete brat that gets away with murder, lies, and has an insatiable need for constant attention.  YDS only talks to her b/c she is all over him like a fly on shit but even YDS doesn't want to hang out with her that much b/c he can SELF ENTERTAIN.  Both my boys 5 and 13 can SELF ENTERTAIN.  SD is almost 13 and should be able to SELF ENTERTAIN!  DH even went as far to say as she doesn't have much to do and the boys have their rooms......WTF!?!?! Are you kidding me right now you IDIOT!  SD also has a room.  She had a damn room for years when YDS didn't even have a room!  Stop making excuses for your brat.  She doesn't  feel like she fits in b/c BM and YOU make her feel like she should be treated better than the "2nd family" and like she has to compete with us.  

I just went off on DH, lol!  I don't see this marriage lasting when he continually reverts when it comes to BM and SD!  

Comments

Aunt Agatha's picture

I may have to accidentally hit my fiancé over the head if he tried anything that stupid.  I'm very impressed at your restraint!

Simpleton21's picture

Aunt Agatha, I want to do more than bop this man on the head right now! LOL!  

I am no saint either! ;)  At this point I really want to give SD and BM what they so DESPERATELY want - DH's undivided attention and SD to be treated more special than everyone else.  I want to let them all have what they want....b/c it would be hilarious!  DH couldn't afford even 1/2 of what he affords by being with me.  SD would lose all the perks she has at my house.  DH would likely be in a little 1 bedroom apt again with even less material items for SD to "entertain" with and I would be free from it all Wink

Aunt Agatha's picture

Would certainly be less risky in terms of jail time and likely even more satisfying in the long run!*biggrin*

Simpleton21's picture

I agree!  I would save money too and then SD would have all that undivided daddeeee time she so desperately needs that BM likes to try to guilt DH over.  

Apparently DH is "crushing" SD by not putting her first and not spending extra time with her (time that BM won't allow him to have anyways)....but it is okay if SD chooses to stay with a friend instead of having time with DH.  It is only crushing SD if DH has a life outside of catering to her wants.

advice.only2's picture

Oh Simplteon, I feel you. DH and I battled for 7 years while I was raising his Spawn. Yes I was raising her, not him and not her Meth Mom, they got to have all the fun of pretending to be parents with out any of the work.

When Spawn phased out of our lives I was on cloud 9, but all good things must come to an end. When she reached out to us recently I started seeing things in DH reminiscent of years ago. Getting defensive when I talked about my boundaries, getting defensive when I asked him questions about her, etc. They met for coffee and he told me all about it, and when I interjected things that proved she was lying to him he shut down on me.

So I am pretty much back to same ole same ole, with my DH. I won't talk about his Spawn anymore, he doesn't bring her up and when he does I keep my mouth shut and just listen. The freedom of communicating with him is gone again and good ole defensive "you hate my wonderful kid I never raised" is back. Sigh!

Simpleton21's picture

Ugh, I wish that SD would PAS out but I know that while BM likes to play saint mommy and act as if DH does nothing to help that isn't true. The moment she has to keep her on her normally scheduled weekend off due to an over exaggerated illness or injury BM freaks out on DH telling him how bad he is!  

Every freaking time I feel like I make progress with DH and think he understands he just digresses back into this ball less wonder :(  The defensiveness is so disgusting to watch.  The excuses for SD are also just pathetic.  

I'm with you on just deciding not to talk about his spawn but DH also gets upset about that....then I don't care about his spawn.  It is like a constant lose/lose battle!