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Update to SILs wedding

SeeYouNever's picture

DH is with me on not wanting to spend thousands to travel with our little kids to Spain for the wedding. I don't think we could get passports in time if we wanted to. He'd love to see Spanish SIL but we won't get to spend time with her around the wedding because she'll be busy so he'd rather just decline and stream the wedding. He also doesn't want to travel without me.

He advised nice SIL not to travel without her husband since traveling separately isn't good for a struggling marriage. He also said not to trust promises made by meddlesome SIL to help with her kids. She will be hanging out with SD14 and drinking. He said meddlesome SIL looks out for her own interests.

After talking to nice SIL he wrote in the group chat that we couldn't go, and also remarked that he noticed I wasn't included in the planning group chat! 

Then meddlesome SIL said that we should plan a family trip for next summer. DH said "she needs to grow up, we all have families and she's a 27 year old parasite on my parents."  I have fallen in love with him all over again! 

Of course we are yet to decide who is paying for SD14's trip to Spain, DH is thinking he will have meddlesome SIL buy the ticket since she's the one going with her and she told her all about it before DH. Now that SD14 knows about it there is no way she will accept not going. "She moved back in with my parents and they pay her bills, she can afford it." I really hope he follows through with this. I could see BM jerking around SIL and not letting SD14 go but changing her mind at the last minute. 

Watching with popcorn, it sure is nice to not be involved in the drama personally for once.


Winterglow's picture

When exactly is the wedding? Is SD fully vaccinated? I absolutely agree about SIL paying for SD's trip. She more or less invited her to go with her while completely cutting her father off from all information. Yep, let her pay and let her deal with the organization of it.

SeeYouNever's picture

February and SD and BM are anti vax. They have traveled to Mexico which I don't think makes you prove it. SIL will have to deal with the hassle of testing requirements and all that. Not our problem!


TheAccidentalSM's picture

Even if they get into the county unvaccinated they may not be able to attend the wedding as many European Countries are asking for vax certs or proof of a negative test to get inside anywhere.

Personally I think you are right not to go.  Weddings aren't fun for small children at the best of times.  Better to go visit at a time that suits both parts of the family.

notarelative's picture

Unvaccinated children under 12 traveling with vaccinated adults are allowed to travel to Spain without any additional requirements. However, children between the ages of 12 and 18 must present proof of vaccination.

DH should put no effort (or money) into this trip if SD is not vaccinated. She's 14. The airline will not let her on the plane without proof of vaccination. Since Spain requires vaccination to enter, the airline will check before boarding. Airlines do not want to get you to Spain and not be admitted, as if you are not admitted they have to fly you home.

Winterglow's picture

Well, whether they're anti-vax or not, they will not be allowed into the country if they are not fully vaccinated and have proof of it. Given that you need to space the two jabs out by three months, they'd better get a move on because they're already cutting it fine (depending on the actual date).

OTOH, it would be fun if they got there, got put back on the plane and sent home after all the fuss the meddlesome SIL has made. Spanish SIL will be ruing the day she asked her to set it all up. How was she to know that the other SIL couldn't organize an orgy in a brothel much less a family trip to Europe?


SeeYouNever's picture


I wonder if SD is still going to be anti-vax if it starts to affect her travel plans. Just get the dang thing. 

tog redux's picture

If she's anything like the anti-vaxxer contingent in my family, nothing will make her get that "dangerous" vaccine that billions of people have taken with no issue.

SeeYouNever's picture

DH's thoughts on that topic "BM and her whole family think they're special and better than everyone else of course they aren't going to get it." 

Stepdrama2020's picture

See how fabtabulous things turn out when you have a DH who has your back, and calls out the shitty SIL on it!

So many on here would be writing (me included) how our DH is going to this wedding without us, and that we are crazy SIL is just trying to help., and yes I am footing the bill for princess SD and BM cause golden uterus LOL

OP you have a good DH!

SeeYouNever's picture

To be fair they treat both him and I like crap so it easier for him to see it. If they were focused just on excluding me then I'm sure it would be a different story. If SIL and SD were nice to DH he would probably buy them both tickets or whatever they wanted. I'm glad he has my back but I know it's because we're in the same boat together. 

notarelative's picture

I love the idea of meddlesome SIL buying the ticket. Since she invited SD, it should be her cost. But, in the end, meddlesome is most likely going to ask for reimbursement. DH needs to be sure, that if he ends up reimbursing meddlesome for the ticket, he is only reimbursing for a coach seat. If meddlesome wants better seats, the cost is on her.

DH also needs to tell meddlesome that obtaining BM's permission, securing SD's passport and vaccination information is her obligation not his. (If SD does not already have a passport, the odds are that she is not going either.) 

tog redux's picture

Why would your DH pay for a ticket for SD when he was essentially excluded? SIL can pay for SD to go, or BM can pay for it.

Harry's picture

Why does BF get to paid for anything a SC wants. ? ?  SIL and SD and most likely BM are all in on this little trip. BF has no input but he must pay?  He must stop this before he's supporting the whold group. 

Thumper's picture

Now now,  you know bm is going to pitch a fit if daddy doesnt pay.....but skid deserve's to go to SPAIN. 

Edit to add: Word--Deserves, was a fun topic this weekend here on ST lol



SeeYouNever's picture

The only people that deserve anything around here or the step parents and a stiff drink! 

Thankfully BM has never tried that particular guilt trip, for her it's usually "But SD LOVES meddlesome SIL" as if my DH is the monster for trying to see SD himself and taking away from SD having time with her Aunt. Though be emptied go on for a while about how DHs to show SD more appreciation. I don't know about you but I think that appreciation is a form of thanks you give and d h is getting nothing from SD not even the smallest bit of affection. To her appreciation meant spending money on whatever expensive thing SD happened to want that month, a new computer if I recall. 

grannyd's picture

You've written:

Word--Deserves, was a fun topic this weekend here on ST lol

You win the prize for attentiveness/insights for yon first day of the month.

Well said, Thumper. Clapping

CLove's picture

Yup. Spoon that over a nice pile of poop.