Ok strap in, this is the start of some DRAMA. I fully expect this issue to continue for at least a couple months.

My SIL is getting married. I haven't even wrote about this particular SIL before (I have so damn many of them) she is from my FILs second marriage (DH, meddlesome SIL and another nice SIL are  from his third) and I have met her only twice. She's actually the nicest of my SILs and seems to be FILs favorite. She lives in Spain and the wedding will be there. I guess I'll call her Spanish SIL.

The issue is that she has been talking with my meddlesome SIL (her youngest half sister) to plan the wedding for the American guests. Meddlesome SIL has clearly only been representing her own interests and didn't let anyone else know that she was helping Spanish SIL to pick a suitable date until after the date was chosen. She actually talked to BM about what dates are best for her and worked around that date but didn't make sure her own siblings could all come. Yes, the wedding was planned around BM and SDs availability! I wouldn't put it past BM traveling along as well.

The chosen date is terrible for my DH, SIL knows this. My other nice SIL is going to have to travel internationally with 2 young kids because her husband can't go on the chosen date. SIL knew this too but she's been acting like this is the only possible date that will work for the majority of the Americans. But it only happens to be the Americans that she cares about. Spanish sil is very nice and sweet but she is naive to the dynamics.

My oldest SIL (from FILs first marriage) has not been included at all. Meddlesome SIL talks trash about her and she is alienated from FIL and everyone else. She is in her 40s and resents all her younger half siblings. I see SD being like her in the future.

I just can't fathom how this wedding was planned around BM and SDs schedule but they didn't even mention it to DH or the other nice SIL to see if it worked for them. Either you plan around everyone or you plan it far enough out that people can make it work. Spanish SIL clearly wanted all of her siblings to be able to make it and meddlesome SIL excluded the ones she didn't care for. Once again she is being a B*tch under the guise of helping.

Spanish SIL has visited the US and spent time with the meddlesome SIL and SD without DH. They planned the whole thing and didn't let DH know until she arrived and it was too late for him to take off work and see them. Spanish SIL wanted to visit everyone, meddlesome SIL kept her captive because she offered to drive her. I really do think it's the meddlesome SIL behind all this intra-family alienation. She is trying her hardest to alienate DH from his own family including SD. My the nice SIL is having some troubles in her marriage (though I don't think they are insurmountable, they have very little kids and her husband works a lot) but now meddlesome SIL has written him off and he's not going with his wife and two young kids on an international trip. Yep that will be good for her sister's marriage.

Bah, I chose to marry into this mess?? To be fair I didn't know the depth of the disfunction until I was already married.

Oh and FIL cheated on Spanish SILs mom with my MIL and both of the women are going to be at the wedding. Awkward.

We don't have passports for our kids but even if we went and got passports tomorrow it could be 2 to 3 months to actually get them and be able to buy plane tickets. We could have already been in the process of getting them if we were made aware of the planning process. The wedding is in Feb (next week is Nov!). I foresee my kids and I not going and DH *may* go, SD will most definitely go. SD will be all over meddlesome SIL. 

I also think meddlesome SIL is going to try to make DH buy her plane ticket since she will be escorting SD.