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Sadielady's picture

Those who have followed along so far will remember that DH's ex sent the police to our house for a wellness check, after he didn't attend SS's engagement party. Since then, we've obtained a copy of the police report and confirmed that she out right lied to the police. She told them that he was expected to attend (he'd told both SS and future exDIL that he wasn't attending) that it was unusual for DH to miss a family event (he hasn't attended family events in over a year), and that nobody had been able to reach him for a few days (multiple family members were aware that he'd turned off his phone and, in their toxic way, tracked his activity over the weekend).  We also discovered that my name is in the police report. As a school psychologist, I'm subjected to "vulneravle sector police checks". These check's don't only report charges against me, they report *any* information collected by police. So, after numerous attempts to get police assistance, I was finally able to file a report this morning and pass along all of the ex's text messages and voicemails, showing that she absolutely knew that he didn't intend to go to the party, that he didn't want to discuss it with anyone, and that she continued to harass him all weekend and then made a false police report. The officer agreed to review all of the information and follow up with me. He begrudgingly agreed that what I described meets the bar for criminal harassment and mischief. He said it would help if DH also filed a report since, technically, he was the one being harassed. DH wasn't home at the time but the officer said we could contact him tomorrow. And, I'm in shock but, DH had agreed to do it!!!! We don't want her to actually be charged, but we want the police to inform her that her behaviour is criminal and that she will be charged if there's another occurence. (The officer originally said that he would tell her that I don't want her to contact me anymore and I said that wasn't good enough and that I would push for actual charges if it wasn't a strong message and if it wasn't clear that the message was coming from the police vs the police passing along a message from me). I wish I could be a fly on the wall when that message is delivered. 

I know I shouldn't get my hopes up. But DH being willing to file a police report, knowing that his kids will hit the roof over it but also agreeing that anything that his ex experiences in relation to this is consequences of her own behaviour. And that alone is a HUGE win! 


Rumplestiltskin's picture

Damn. What a drama-filled HCBM/HC skid situation. How dare your husband miss a party! It's crazy how they resort to slander (the stuff with future SIL) and police involvement to keep you guys in line. Throw the book at her.

Survivingstephell's picture

I also had the cops give my  BM a visit. Best thing I did.  Do not waver if she needs more consequences. Some are really stupid.  

Catmom024's picture

The bullsh*t never ends.  I'm also very shocked your DH agreed to file a report.  I hope he doesn't back out at the last minute. 

CajunMom's picture

Follow through, regardless of what others (SKs, family) say. Your DH is taking strong stands against a toxic family and they need to know their crap behaviors will NOT be tolerated. It will be rough for a while but things will settle down. AND the "family" will be put on notice...we are not playing your silly, toxic games. SMH

Lillywy00's picture

She should be charged so she learns a lesson. 

If she really cared about her kids she would not be out here breaking laws and would do better as someone who has young people looking up to her as a model for societal behavior. 

Rags's picture

That entire toxic clan needs to have their noses rubbed in their stench.  If BM gets arrested, even better.

When the Skids cry and DH's XILs whinge, point out that only people who have perpetrated a crime get arrested and XW, fits the model.