I wonder pretty regularly if we're really all that different from BMs? I mean, there are things we're very different in: our view of the Skids, our view of our DH/their ex, and sometimes, our parenting styles. But, do biokids have showering issues? Do biokids have cleaning issues? do biokids have attitudes? The answer is yes. }:) The reason that BMs aren't complaining about it is that these are their children. Flesh and blood seems to have some weird way of getting you to overlook stuff. For some strange reason, carrying someone in your womb makes it so that you don't feel like a slave 75% of the time that you're serving them. :jawdrop: Believe me, I see it. Plus, the kids seem to respond differently to it. Since my boys' BM and I have started working together on these kids, we're finding that her view of things they do is very different. Eating: Her "How do you feed them and not go broke?" Me "Keep veggies and ranch dressing handy. All other 'yummy' foods are not bought by me." Am I depriving them, no. Do they eat as much at my house, no. That's because they get more fiber and don't have as many options. And I don't feel guilty when they say "There's nothing to eat!!" as every child does. It actually means "There's nothing unhealthy for me to stuff myself with." When she adopts my attitude, they are totally thrown. One even said "You don't love me anymore!" She said "I love you, but sometimes, love means saying no to teach you a lesson about life." I love their mom!!