You are here

Disengaging part of my stepparenting

roseslady2's picture

DH told me the other day (in the middle of an idiot conversation) that I'm "not his parent, so back off." So, I'm not saying anything to SS15 when DH is home. I'm barely talking to him when DH is not here. I am building a relationship with him and his gf, but only because I do not want to be called grandma before I turn 30. Wink I figure if I keep them both close, they won't have time to go off and make babies.

Anyway, SS15 has been a dream this week and SS10 is at my mom's place, so I'm floating. I just wish DH would stop being a dummy. He's deifnitley crabby and I don't know why and I don't really care. kinda Disengaging from him too.

Comments

dramanot's picture

I've parented my kids for 17 years and am now with my DH that is 9+ years younger than I. When he tells me that I treat him like one of my own children I boil. I do not want to be his mother... I just want him to parent his kids fairly. They are 6(boy) and 9(girl). DH wants to buy new things for his kids that I already own and that my kids have used. ie. I live on a lake and have many life jackets in good shape, just faded from the sun. He wants to buy new ones. There is only one month of swimming left if that. This is ridiculous!!

Auteur's picture

You and I are in the same boat. I"m a good 8+ years older than biodad. My kids are in their twenties and GG would NEVER EVER take my advice about parenting.

Lots and Lots of guilty daddy spending. The only good thing is the mannerless, piggish, slovenly children PASed out, so for now, they are the Behemoth's problem as she chooses not to parent, but pacify instead.

I'd run if I were you. I"ve been in this eight years and it's been worse than my first two marriages combined.

dramanot's picture

I'm not to tell him what he can and cannot buy for his children. He treats me and my children (D17, S14) very well. He spends plenty of money on us and is not selfish. I want to protect him by being taken by his own children. They are going to figure out that he's a Santa Dad and run away with his generosity and wallet.

roseslady2's picture

BTW, everyone, SS15 has been awesome. DH is still being a jerk. I'm learning that my problem has never really been with the skids. They're good kids that try hard and do and remember normal things for kids their ages. DH and BM are the ones I have problems with. They don't want to parent, but they don't want me to either. I'm thinking I should seek out a page for marital problems, not skid problems. My skids really are wonderful to me and around the house and I couldn't ask for better skids. DH has problems, which affects the skids, which in turn makes me think it's them. But, it's him.