Kids ALWAYS come first.....Really???
This is something that has been on my mind for awhile. I am sick of hearing and reading the following sentence, "Kids always come first." I do not believe it is that black and white. It has always been my belief that the SITUATION determines who comes first. What kind of children are "we" raising to believe that they always come first?? I think this is a major problem with kids today and the cause of relationship problems. I love my son with all my heart, but he doesn't always come first. My son frequently has what my dad called, "the case of the wants." Well, his wants don't always override everything. There is a big difference between wants and needs. Sometimes I come first, sometimes my mom comes first, sometimes my fiance comes first etc,. Unfortunately, my fiance doesn't share this view because of his guilt of not seeing his kids on a daily basis. I think the biggest problem that divorced parents face is this very issue. Has anyone heard anything similar, "I only see them every other weekend, I know you need a new tire for your car, but my kids want to go see that new movie and go eat at that new expensive restaraunt for dinner and they come first." "I know it is your department Christmas party, but my ex won't switch weekends and I don't want to get a babysitter because that takes time away from them, so you have to go alone, my kids come first." Why can't your relationship and kids BOTH be important. Why can't you stand back and examine the situation and make a decision based on the right thing to do instead of your guilt? Relationships AND kids take time, effort, committment, and love. Shouldn't you work just as hard on being a good boyfriend, spouse, significant other, fiance as you do being a good father? Why is there such a great divide? I really believe you can be a great parent and a great fiance, spouse etc,. We are important role models. Your kids watch the relatinship dynamics that go on. If you don't SHOW your kids that your relationship is important and takes priority sometimes, what kind of spouse will they be?