"Over-stepped your position"
As therapy had to be delayed until this afternoon due to a work meeting that got scheduled last minute... I just need to put all this here for a second.
Last week, my ex spent some time trying to inform me how i needed to give him another shot, I flat out said no, go focus on your girlfriend, and hung up (this counts as a boundary right? I was proud of myself. lol) I had the kids a night the weekend before (courtesy of his mother, didn't deal with him at all, though that was a pain too tbh). She mentioned to me Dipsh** probably had the rona and wouldn't be able to see the girls for a while. During the visit SD11 told me she NEVER sees ex and doens't even know him anymore. But not my issue.
Fastforward a few days, One of my friends spots SUPPOSEDLY sick X walking with his girlfriend, does some stalking, he's already in family pictures with girlfriend and her child on Fakebook. I'm like "well that's dumb. But I don't care, we're not married. So you don't need to report to me on anything to do with this crazy a$$." but blow it off (none of this really matters until later)
Next day, ex sends a picture of him in the hospital with "what if this is my last selfie ever?" I ignore, don't even respond. So he starts calling non stop. I finally pick up. And chewed him out. TOld him exactly what I thought about how he treated me, how he's treating his new gf trying to hook up with his ex all the time, how he's treating new gf's kid since he's now involved in the situation since family pictures (also told him his gf was scum for even letting that happen so quick), then proceeded to chew him out for being a s***y father to the girls and never thinking of their needs. Told him maybe instead of focusing on getting a random girl in bed he should focus on actually finding stability for the kids that he never sees and that don't feel like they know him. I also ended with how innapropriate he's been with me and how it's all not okay. I then proceeded to hang up. Few minutes later "I'll have a bag with all your things waiting for you." All I responded with "You don't have anything I want. I already got my stuff out." He kept trying to contact, but I ignored. And anyways...
Next morning, I wake up from a text from his mom: "X told me that you called him and were pretty rough on him. You should not have done that. You don't know everything that goes on and I think that you may have over stepped your position."
She made a boo boo. I responded with "You don't know everything going on either. I cna't go to the gym without him trying to get pissy with me. He's tried to cheat on his girlfriend, so I'm sure he has with someone else. Is constantly trying to gripe about how awful that relationship is, and has tried to convince me to come over to hook up with him. Told me when he got the gf that no one was going to meet kids until a year mark, yet he's apparently going and chilling with her kid, so it's only a matter of time before he drags the girls into that bulls*** too. Also gets angry any time I don't answer the phone. And tried to spend a LOT of time with "what would you do if you couldn't talk to me anymore..." biggest thing yesterday was I asked him not to overstep boundaries as it's highly innapropriate for anyone, but especially a man supposedly in a committed relationship, and I will NOT cause another woman the same pain he put me through. If I dress up for myself and run into him at all he attacks me with a billion questions about "who are you dressing up for?" He constantly threatens me to not see the kids and says no quite often when I ask to them. Add on the fact SD11 told me that doesn't even feel like she knows her dad anymore. And a friend supposedly saw him walking the neighborhood with his grilfriend 2 days ago (which she has ZERO reason to lie about). He lies. All the time. I ask to see the girls a lot more than I'm sure he tell syou, since the girls have been told that I "don't want to see them," and any time he does let me see them, he acts like I owe him, but if he doens't let me see them, he claims I don't care about them. He went as far as to tell a mutual friend that I was stepping out, then abandoned the girls and want nothing to do with them. He tries to factime me all the time, then when I don't answer hits me with "why do you hate me? Who is he?" I point out he has a gf and it's none of his damn business and I get "well, but who am I talking to? Who am I worried about?" What I'm sure he didn't tell you too was I told him the girls deserve the world and maybe he should focus on them and their needs before adding a random person that he has said is "just to fill time and doesn't mean anything." And I told him we're not in a relationship and he is. So he needs to act like a man in a relationship and stop trying to ask to see underwear or accusing me of showing out for other men, when shocker, I don't want to date because he destroyed my trust, and even if I did, not his business. I can't even fathom dating someone and am just trying to recover some self esteem and knock back my anxiety, depression, and major trust issues.
So Idk what he told you. But I feel the things I was "hard" on him about. Were completely justified."
Anways. She never responded, ex isnt' trying to bug me. I may have lost the girls on this one, but I did finally get to speak my mind about all this bull crap. And I plan to continue that.
That's all. It's a bit emotionally upsetting that I may have lost the girls... Obv. But I really hope that this will ultimately help my healing process. I'm in a MUCH better head space after a few days with none of either of their bulls***.