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DH is pissy.... AH well.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Background for anyone that missed it, SIL had a seizure, no longer has a license, DH has driven her a few times to work and dropped her kids off at school.  She could have got the license back a few weeks ago, but BIL spent the money she needed for the reinstatement fee... Now that you're all caught up.... Smile

While I was home for lunch, DH doesn't work today.

DH: "SIL said this is probably the last day I'm going to have to drive her."

Me: "Thank Goodness."

DH: "Thank Goodness?"

Me: "Yeah. Thank Goodness. You won't have to leave super early any more"

DH: "Why? It's not like it affects you."

Me: "Nope, but it does bother me."

DH: "Why?"

Me: "Well you won't get up to help with your own kids, but you'll drive an entire hour to drop her kids and her off where they need to be."

DH: "So you're saying I'm a bad parent?"

Me: "Nope. Not what I said. I'm just saying, you won't get up to help here, but you'll get up for them, and it bugs me. No one said you're not a good parent."

DH is now pouting. Then sent me a text after I got back from work saying "I'm sorry the kids are too much for you to handl ein the morning.  I'll take over from now on."

I just responded with "Okay."  Cuz good.  Didn't say they were too much to handle, in fact, they're pretty self-functioning in the morning. But whatever. I'm not dealing with his man baby moment. *shrug* He wants to throw a tantrum and take over the morning. He can have it. 


SteppedOut's picture

Lololol. I can tell you he wasn't trying to take over the help you so graciously provide!

He was looking for you to take back what you said and to make you feel bad and regret saying what you did.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

It's his now. Hope the girls make it to the bus. If not, guess he's driving them.

This is why I told my boss I'll travel occasionally now.  I figure it will give DH a dose of reality.

tog redux's picture

I can't imagine the thought process with some of these fathers, who leave the parenting to the SM.  I couldn't lay in bed sleeping while DH dealt with my dog, much less if I had kids. 

ndc's picture

Good for you!  He *should* be getting up and dealing with his own kids.  If it took a mantrum to bring that about, it was well worth suffering through the man baby fit.


susanm's picture

Don;t you just wish you could hear the thought process that took him from hearing "You don't help here but will drive an hour each way to help her" and interpreting it to mean  "The kids are too much for me in the morning."  Because that took some mental gymnastics.

SteppedOut's picture

He doesn't want to feel baf about it, so he tried yo make her feel bad about it instead. 

susanm's picture

If you think "mental gymnastics" is good, you'll love "mental masturbation."  LOL

Merry's picture

My mother would say when I pouted, “If you stick that lip out any farther you’ll trip on it.”

I think he just tripped. 

Love your response—to all of it. 

Jcksjj's picture


Its because he gets a pat on the back for doing it for his sisters kids and looks like the good guy whereas doing it for his own kids no ones gonna say much because it's just expected.

Dh does this alot with SD compared to our own kids for the same reason because as a single dad he got praise heaped on him just for being involved still and as a man with wife and kids people dont comment much on it.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

And because he's used to having the OP overfunctioning for him. She does the bulk of childcare for him. 

Brava, OP! Keep stepping back so he can step up. 

ITB2012's picture

That's exactly why my DH does things for others and not for me. People assume he's a nice guy to me when in reality he's a nice guy to everyone but me. Though I will say he does cater to his own children a lot since he might anger BM and that would make him not a nice guy to the general public.

Jcksjj's picture

Yep. People need to realize that people usually have a different public persona than how they are at home. 

Cover1W's picture

Totally the way my convos with DH used to go. After a million of these he's finally not all put out because I disagree with his 'parenting.'

ITB2012's picture

OMG, this is exactly where my DH goes. Any negative connotation means I think he/someone is all bad. And it's highly manipulative. So is the "I guess it's too much for you." Damn straight. It's much more than we should be expected to do.

Good for you for not taking the bait.

advice.only2's picture

DH: "So you're saying I'm a bad parent?"

Actually yes DH you are a bad parent, you are totally neglecting your own children to go aid an adult who could use an UBER/taxi/public transportation/other family member to get her and her children from point A to point B.

hereiam's picture

See how he tried to manipulate you, there? Glad you didn't fall for his pity party BS.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I did see it. Which is why I put my foot down. I also called him a few minutes ago and told him to stop being a bully and putting words in my mouth. He just said "okay" and sounded guilty. lol

Harry's picture

keep it up and DH will be force to parent his kids