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BioHo running the show

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I almost feel sorry for SD25. Almost. Her wedding is next month and BioHo is in control of things - something SD25 has been complaining about to DH and me for a couple of months now. Does she say anything to 'Ho? No. HELL no. SD doesn't want to risk the wrath of 'Ho and have her wedding turn into a sh*t show. Better to settle for a circus. Make that a fairy tale princess circus!

We received our invitation. It's black tie. "Ladies in ballgowns! Men in tuxes!" Yep, ballgowns and tuxes. Oy. DH called SD. She whined about 'Ho "turning my wedding into what SHE wanted for hers" ('Ho and Mr. Pinhead's budget - aka CS from DH - didn't cover a pricey fairy tale wedding). 

DH: Hey, honey. What's the deal with ballgowns and tuxes?
SD: ~sighing~ Hi, Dad. It's mom. She wants black tie formal with women in poofy-skirted gowns.
DH: Poofy-skirted??
SD: Like hoop skirts, but not as poofy.
DH: Mmmhmmmm. 'kay.
SD:  I know. Not really what I wanted...
DH: You could've said No.
SD: To MOM? Riiiiiiiiiiight. 
DH: Yes, to your mother. (Evil Aniki snickering over DH's tone of voice when he says 'your mother')
SD: ~whine whine whine~
DH: Then tell her no.
SD: ~whine whine whine~
DH: (who loathes whining) Tell.Her.NO.
SD: ~whine whine whine~
DH: I can't help you with that. 
SD: But daddeeeeee...
DH: NO. See how easy that is?
SD: For YOU. That'll just p!ss mom off.
DH: Well, there's that. 
SD: YOU don't have to deal with it.
DH: Nope. You don't have to either. You're laying back and letting it happen.
SD: It's easier that way.
DH: Honey, I love you, but that means you're not getting the wedding you want. You have to live with that choice. 
SD: I know. ~sigh~ Thanks for listening. 

Then comes the fun part...

DH: Baby, it looks like a ballgown for you.
Me: You wearing a tux?
DH: ~belly laugh~ Oh, HELL no!
Me: And I'm not wearing a poofy-skirted ballgown.
DH: Um...
Me. As you're so fond of saying, f*ck that sh*t. 
DH: Baby...
Me: ~wearing a big ol' pair of cranky pants because I'm tired and need a nap~ DH, so help me, if you push me, I'll bloody well get a quniceanera dress to wear. 
DH: A what???
Me: ~shows DH pics of quinceanera dresses~
DH: Holy sh*t!
Me: Here's on in hot pink for $599. 
DH: $599!!!
Me: Oh, look. They have it in my size. And gloves to match.
DH: Uh, baby, what did you plan to wear?
Me: A tasteful formal appropriate for a 56yo woman. Streamlined. NO poofy-f*cking-skirt.
DH: ~crease disappearing from between his eyebrows~ That sounds nice!
Me: Maybe I should get one in bright red....
DH: ~small crease reappearing~ Uhhhhh...if that's what you really want....
Me: FFS, DH, I'm JOKING. It'll likely be blue or dark purple or burgandy.
DH: ~beaming~ I know you'll be absolutely beautiful!

 

Ordered the dress last night. It will arrive by Saturday. Fingers crossed it fits because I loathe shopping! Except for books and shoes...

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Right?! I woudn't be surprised if 'Ho wears a tiara because this wedding is all about her...*crazy*

tog redux's picture

I can't imagine everyone will wear tuxes and ball gowns that are "poofy".  I wonder how many will just RSVP "NO" rather than deal with that foolishness.  I would if it wasn't someone super close to me.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I can't either. And in our neck of the woods... People 'round these parts get married in camo and wear their best jeans to weddings. Expecting tuxes and poofy.... LMAO!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Exactly.

AgedOut's picture

I went to a wedding that was wardrobe planned by the very high maintenence bride. everyone was to wear black and white. the SM of the groom wore a red pantsuit. I want to be her when I grow up.

Stepdrama2020's picture

" I want to be her when I grow up"   Dang straight! The red pansuit was a total FU to step family crap.. Probably years of bullcrap from the skids, so the SM finally got her "say". LOVE THIS Dang I wouldve killed to stand strong like that!

Stepdrama2020's picture

Didnt you just go through this with another skid. Hope you get a break from weddings and bio ho

Poofy skirts? Is that a thing? I wouldnt think it is flattering on many women.

Fun times Wink

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Yes, Stepdrama. SS22's wedding this Summer. BioHo was awful and tried her best to make it all about her with her martyr-ish BS. She succeeded in looking like a complete twunt.

Prom, military ball, my wedding: I refused to be one of those gals who wore a poofy-skirted dress with that ickle itchy underskirt crap. I was the most sophisticated 19yo at that military ball!

Maybe a slim woman with no fat?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

DAMMIT!!!! I need to order that and ship the other dress back as soon as it arrives!

lieutenant_dad's picture

How much you want to bet that 'Ho will be wearing either a white or gold ballgown?

Or, because she's the Mother of the Bride(TM), she shows up in a business casual blouse, wrinkled pencil skirt that is 3 sizes too small, and "fancy" flip flops?

With 'Ho, I honestly don't know which to bet my money on.

caninelover's picture

What would be funny is if 'Ho were the only one who showed up in a big poofy ballgown - everyone else showed up in normal (wedding-guest appropriate) attire!

'Ho is just way too much...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Yes, it would! I can only imagine what the bride's attendants will be wearing. 

DH jokingly suggested I dress like Maleficent. Sooooo tempting...  *dirol*

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Lt Dad, if 'Ho does anything like she did for SS22's wedding, the dress will be fitted at the waist...but 'Ho will have to pull it up over her busted can o'biscuits (aka muffin top gone wild), making an impromptu high-low dress.

Maybe she'll glue rhinestones on some flop-smackin' shoes. For the short time she graced us with her presence at the June wedding, she wore thick, chunky-heeled sandals and I immediately thought, "Gads, those look like sandals my grandma wore!"

It will be interesting, I'm sure.

JRI's picture

I'm surprised she didnt wear her dressy flip flops.

advice.only2's picture

I wonder if that's where HO got the inspiration, was she watching some TLC My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and was like "Well tarnation we having that kind of weddin!"

classyNJ's picture

With over 5,000 chrystals and boobs hanging out LOL

notarelative's picture

 It's black tie. "Ladies in ballgowns! Men in tuxes!" 

If you want a formal wedding, putting black tie on the invitation is fine. But, putting ballgowns is over the top. A ballgown dress invitation is one I'd decline.

Dear Ho, black tie dress for women does not have to be proofy ballgown. https://www.brides.com/gallery/black-tie-wedding-guest-dresses https://www.bhldn.com/categories/occasion-dresses-view-all-dresses-black...

As father of the bride, DH may end up with a tux. In this area the father of the bride usually wears the same as the wedding party. When SD married DH rented his outfit from the same place as the wedding party.

Where are they holding this black tie wedding? 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

But this is what 'Ho wants, notarelative! How dare you try and put a damper on her dream wedding! *diablo*   And she want's poofy-skirted ballgowns! ~stomps foot~

I cannot decline to attend, nor would I. Not about to do that to DH or SD. No way 'Ho will stop me from being where I belong - at my husband's side.

DH is almost as stubborn as I am. If he says he's not renting a tux, he is most emphatically not renting a tux. He'll wear the same suit he wore to SS22's wedding.

Wedding AND reception will be in a hotel banquet facility.

notarelative's picture

I realize you can't decline. In your position I would not decline either. I was thinking, that if I were the invited friend or distant family member, the dress code would make me decline. No way I'm buying a ball gown, that I'll never wear again, for a wedding.

I'm glad you said hotel facility. I was afraid it was in the backroom of Ho's favorite bar.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Any other wedding, we would definitely decline!

Ew. Think we would need biohazard suits. *bad*

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Poor SD.  But also not since she's just letting it happen.  I feel for her though. Those parental expectations can be HEAVY sometimes and mine aren't freaking crazy like Bioho....

I hope she knows she'll probably eventually regret it if she has no control of her own wedding Sad

I mean mine ended in divorce, so I'm happy we didnt.  But the lack  of having a wedding, kind of stung a bit at the time.  I hope her compromising to appease her mother doesn't sour her memories of her day Sad

Aniki-Moderator's picture

PA, I feel a little bit of sympathy for SD, but she IS just letting it happen because she doesn't want to make waves. With a mother like 'Ho, this is what happens when you give her control and do nothing.

SD is already regretting it - the entire thing has gotten bigger and fancier than what she wanted. DH drew the line at the very beginning stating he would give SD a set amount of money. 

I hope so, too. She already has regrets and it would be awful if 'Ho pulls anything like she did at SS's wedding. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

The dress I ordered is dark blue. The sleeves are open along the shoulders with little rhinestone embellished straps. It is slit to just above the knee on one side.  (please fit please fit please fit)

CLove's picture

Yeah, NO.

Formal to me is slinky with beads and sequins. I rather like formal, but pooofy? Oh what a tangled ball of yarn for Sd to have to unravel. Just say "no". Like those commercials about drugs, just say "no" to drugs and and "no to 'Ho".

shamds's picture

My high conflict mum tried to pick a fight with my husband.

i firmly told her to behave, she screams NO!! 
i told her "you will behave and not fuc* up my wedding day today of all days!! BEHAVE!!"

she didn't try dare to pull anything apart from just before the solemnisation ceremony the marriage celebrant had me hug my parents and my mother started slapping my face and crying making this all about her.

Right after it was final we were husband and wife, my mum did this whole fake cry and husband's sisters all rushed to calm her as she was all "my daughter just got married, my only daughter, my loving caring daughter" she did make it about her and needed to steal attention because it was all about her. It took everything in me to not punch her in the face on my special day... oh and she did remind people she was gonna stay with me and my husband for several months immediately after the wedding to which i replied "no you will not, you will go back to your home!!"

having the courage to stand up for me and my husband was the best thing ever. Taught me to never let people think they could push me around

Winterglow's picture

Aniki, there's one detail that you haven't mentioned and that I am dying to hear about. What kind of a venue is this wedding to be held in? I'm wondering about the suitability of poofy dresses. Wouldn't it be great if they were doing it chez Disney? Imagine being able to buy a poofy dress at the venue! Imagine the sea of blue if everyone decides to be Cinderella! 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Winterglow, wedding AND reception will be in a hotel banquet facility.

Cinderella dresses with long white gloves!

halo1998's picture

dress you could find...and I can tell you my DH would be hell NO on a tux.  Most like his answer would "F*ck NO..I didn't wear one when WE got married I'm not wearing one now."  Of course knowing me I would show up in a very nice womens tux......what's not to like.  Its classy, its pants and it will have pockets.

I see this as my future with SD...Beaver will take over her wedding and it will be a mess of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and a Hillbilly hoe down.  

From what DH told me Beaver SR took over his wedding to Beaver and that was a sh&t show ..DH put his foot down on two things..the DJ and the amount of money he was contributing. After that he bowed out and it became a lavendar colored extravaganza..

 

We eloped on the beach.....

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Halo, the dress I ordered is very UNslinky; it's made of jersey. Now scheduled to arrive tomorrow. Biggrin

Survivingstephell's picture

You know, you will have to share pictures of BM in all her ballgown puffiness.  This I gotta see! Lol.  

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Darlin', I won't share pics (always fear of discovery), but will do my best to paint a picture with words.