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BioHo keeps trying

Aniki-Moderator's picture

A few weeks ago, BioHo came to our house, asking me to make her a dress for SD25’s wedding. It did not go over to well. For ‘Ho…   https://www.steptalk.org/blog/aniki/bioho-comes-knocking-270672

Surprisingly, it seems ‘Ho did not say a word about what transpired to SD25 or SS18. No idea if she told Mr. Pinhead. However, a little bird (bartender friend) at a nearby watering hole, laughingly told me about ‘Ho coming in, wet shirt and shorts and squishy-flop-smacking up to the bar, and ordering 2 shots of tequila before starting in on the house (crap) wine. Halfway through the second glass, she started whining to my bird-tender how her kids' stepmother was soooo effing mean and horrible, but she was gonna get me to make her an effing dress for her princess’ wedding!

This past weekend, DH and I went to SD25’s house. SD and fiancé are remodeling their basement and we went to help. DH took his trusty sledgehammer (I’d love to see him at a carnival game…), I grabbed a small cooler of pop, and away we go. After some discussion, the men got to work smashing walls (DH) and hauling out trash (fiancé) while SD and I made pizza.

We were in the dining room eating our first slices of pizza when the front door opened and in waltzed BioHo with Mr. Pinhead right on her heels.

Ho: Helloooooooooo!!!

SD: OMG, MOTHER!! What are you doing here?!

Ho: You said you were redecorating and we’re here to help! ~to DH and me~ Hiiiii!!! Whatya doin??

DH: Eating pizza.

SD: I asked Dad and Aniki to help.

Ho: You didn’t ask me!!!

DH: ~snort~

SD: Um, you don’t have a sledgehammer...

~Fiancé and I continued to eat pizza~

Ho: Aniki doesn’t have a f*cking sledgehammer.

DH: My sledgehammer is Aniki’s sledgehammer. ~exaggerated wink at me~

Fiancé chokes drinking pop, trying not to laugh.

I give DH that I Have A Secret smile and actually blush. {WTH?!}

Ho: Jaysus. Get a room!

DH: We have a house. Fiancé, can you grab me another slice, please?

SD: What are you doing here, mother??

Ho: I saw Aniki’s car and thought I’d stop and ask a favor! {Ha!}

DH: What.Favor.

Ho: ~giggling~ Aniki, that dress you made for SS22’s wedding was soooo pretty! I was wonderin’ if you’d make me one for SD’s wedding!

Ah-ha!!! Obviously, ‘Ho never told SD that she’d already asked me and what transpired. ~snicker~

DH: Seriously?

Me: ~lightly kicking DH under the table~ Oh, I’m soooo sorry, but with commissions for three Memory Bears, I don’t know how I’ll finish MY dress for SD’s wedding. ~beaming sunnily at ‘Ho~

Ho: YOUR dress? You’re making ANOTHER dress?

Ani: Yes. ~still smiling~

Ho: Why can’t you wear the one you made for SS’s wedding?!

Ani: Oh, I couldn’t possibly! That’s a SUMMER dress. This is a WINTER wedding. I’m sure you understand. ~still smiling, look over at DH and bat my lashes, ready to barf from my sugar overload~

DH: My talented wife! ~leans over and plants a big smooch on my cheek~

Ho: F*CK. Guess I’ll have to buy a GD dress.

And without another word, whirled around and stomped out of the house, Pinhead tottering close behind.

 

Looks like I'm making myself another dress. Gaaaaaaaahhh!!!

Comments

advice.only2's picture

I gues when all your veins pump is Boones Farm it's hard to understand and translate plain english!  Good on you Aniki and I'm sure your winter dress is going to be a thing of legends!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Advice, Boones Farm is 'Ho's favorite! *bad*  *bad*  *bad*  But as much as I dislike that bar's house wine, it's a step or two up from BF.

I don't know about a thing of legends, but you're a peach for saying so! *kiss2*

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I shudder at the possible state of her liver. *bomb*

Good idea, halo. Or that I got more bear commissions... Biggrin

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Merry, I could watch my DH swing that sledgehammer until his arms give out. He wasn't sporting wall dust - it was Man Glitter and I was drooling! *crazy*

CLove's picture

Cannot take no for an answer she continues to decieve herself into a HOle...

Holly's picture

buy one and tell her your DH kept you far too busy with his sledgehammer *wink, wink* to find the time to sew ....  

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Holly, the only thing will be finding a dress I actually like! Why are most of those dresses so monochrome? With the standard, boring lace pattern. Sigh.... Maybe I can compromise ala Sandra Lee and do a semi-homemade... 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Alky-hawl is killing the wrong brain cells?? 

She's a narc and used to getting what she wants. And she is a diagnosed narc. *wacko*

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

This just keeps getting better and better!

Maybe one day she will understand what no means, but I wouldn't get my hopes up!!

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

"agree" to make this dress from BioHo, then buy something cheap and ugly then apologize that your dress took too much time so you wanted to make it right by purchasing a dress for her that is her style based on what you've seen her wear. BUT you shoudn't waste your money on BioHo!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Is it in fashion to wear something that shows your bra straps in Winter? Meow...

Seriously, I simply could not do it. I instantly foresee the nightmare of spending time with 'Ho, picking out dress patterns and fabric, fitting her... And her stiffing me on payment after my work. Excuse me. I need whiskey... 

Watereddown's picture

Bet she'd want you two to hang out and party until she got that dress. Good on you not falling for her fake nice bs Aniki!!

caninelover's picture

Unbelievable.  I bet 'Ho was trying to make you look like a jerk for saying no in front of SD...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I bet you're right, caninelover! Good thing I can think on my feet (my butt).

TheAccidentalSM's picture

How does anyone stay sane around this lunatic?  She is so delusional as to be nearly gaslighting everyone.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I have no idea! Another question is: WHAT does Mr. Pinhead see in 'Ho?? *unknw*

Aniki-Moderator's picture

No idea. But he is called 'Pinhead' for a reason... Not the sharpest knife in the drawer! More like a dull butter knife... *crazy*

The_Upgrade's picture

Don't make yourself another dress if you don't feel like it. Ho would be in a snit if you turned up in a new dress but she'll probably explode if you came in the same dress as the other wedding. As in you've been sitting there twiddling your thumbs and not making any dress at all when you couldn've been making hers.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

If I can find a nice plain dress, I could dress it up a bit and make it mine (semi-homemade). I've yet to ever find a dress i like as is.  *unknw*