My (non) conversation with DH: A demonstration of disengagement
A bit of background:
DH's sister, in her mid-70s, has some health issues that requires her to live in an assisted living facility. A year or so ago, she made some legal-type changes, including setting up a trust for her own care. She appointed SD and SD's cousin as co-trustees.
It was a terrible idea. SD and Cousin do NOT get along. I don't know the details about their falling out, but I do know SD is a control freak and displays extreme jealousy whenever she feels like someone else is getting more attention. She is competitive in this way with even her own brother.
Naturally, I stayed out of the whole discussion other than to tell DH that it would be interesting to watch. So... I come home from work yesterday and this is my convo with DH:
We exchange pleasantries, how was your day, etc. Then he went quiet on me, which is NOT like him at all. His constant chatter drives me insane too, but the silence is uncharacteristic so I knew something was up.
Me: "So, DH, what's up? You're quiet."
DH: "SD is mad at my sister."
Me: "Hmmm, I see you've started dinner. Can I help?"
DH: "She's furious about this trust thing."
Me: "I'm sorry it's upset you. That salad looks great."
DH: "Sister redid the trust and took her off as trustee."
Me: "I think I'll pour a glass of wine, do you want anything?"
DH: "I had to talk her down AGAIN, and told her to just let it go. AGAIN."
Me: "Oh, gosh, I wish she would. I'm going to set the table."
DH: "Well, we all know she won't and she's going to just get everybody upset."
Me: "You're probably right. Have the dogs been fed?"
DH: "She was CRYING about it for kristsake."
Me: Gulps wine. "I'm going to feed the dogs."
DH: "I was the one who suggested to my sister that she remove SD since it's been so hard to deal with her. SD isn't happy with Sister's attorney, isn't happy with the bank, isn't happy with Cousin, wants to control the whole thing, wants me to make my sister "fix" this, and there's nothing to fix. I wouldn't want her to be involved in decisions for me either. "
Me: Inane prattle with the dogs as they chow down.
DH: "Thanks, Merry, I appreciate talking this out with you. You always are so calm about all this insanity."
Me: "I love you too, DH. Come on pups, let's go outside."