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It went really terrible

praying's picture

I heard back from my Dh last night and this morning. He had dropped Ss off in the afternoon. As expected, it did NOT go well. From what I gathered, he was clutching on to my Dh, refusing to let go. My Dh said Ss ripped a chunk of his hair out when they had to drag him away. He was screaming and crying the whole time.

Then my Dh went to sign some papers authorizing medical attention etc. My Dh decided to stay till Tuesday and its a good thing he did. Yesterday evening, Ss swung his hand against something while struggling and fractured his left wrist. It was a hairline fracture. But Ss kept it hidden for hours and then it got swollen. That is when a nurse saw it. They took him to the hospital to get a cast. My Dh met him there and it was crying and pleading all over again.

My Dh accompanied Ss back to the school, waited until he fell asleep and came home late in the night. That was when he called me. He sounded so sad Sad

He called again today at 8 30 am. Apparently Ss has thrown up a few times since 4 am. He has also been crying and refusing to let anyone near him. My Dh wants to go see him but the facility said he should probably stay away. I cried all through the night when I heard Ss fractured his wrist. And now hearing about him feeling sick is making me cry all over again. He must be so scared. And I have no doubt in my mind that my Dh has been crying too.

I don't think I can ever feel good about this. In the back of my head I will always know Ss is unhappy there. I am going with my Dh to visit Ss either on Saturday or Sunday. I just know that it will not be pleasant at all. I feel sick.

Comments

praying's picture

My Dh will be back tomorrow morning. I do plan on giving him a big hug. This must have been extremely upsetting for him as well.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Stay strong- this is by far the hardest time to go thru. My sister has scizophrenia, and has been hospitalized a few times when shes gone manic. She was really scared when shes been hospialized. The first few days are always the hardest. I know your all hurting right now, but I know youve all done what is best for him. He needs help sweetie, and the pros have been trained to help him. Love alone can inly help someone so far, hes gotta find the strength in him now, and thats what the pros are trained to do!!

Be strong, trust me, someday he will not only understand, but he will thank you!!! Lots of prayers & hugs!!

praying's picture

Thank you for sharing that. You know how difficult this is. I just hope we aren't putting Ss through this for nothing.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Give him time, keep in constant conversation with the facility. Send him mail.

Know he will hate you, but ultimately you are giving him a place that will give him coping skills and the power to begin healing his soul.

Keep strong and know your story has touched many of us to add you to our prayers. Maybe thru the power of prayer your ss will begin healing.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Send him mail. LOTS of it. I know this doesn't compare at ALL, but one time I had to send my BS to a boot camp so he could finish HS. He would beg me to come get him. I couldn't do that because I knew he needed to finish HS and this was the only way he was going to do it. Instead, I wrote him a letter a day for the entire 6 months he was there. Sometimes I'd send cards. Sometimes I'd send a magazine. Thing was, when mail call came, I wanted his name to be called so he knew he wasn't alone. Still praying for your family.

praying's picture

We will send him mail once things get settled down I guess. We just assumed it would be emails and phone calls. My Dh will be visiting every weekend, sometimes with me, sometimes just him.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Most Evil's picture

I am so glad you went through with this. He has to get professional help.

Be strong and be good to yourself right now. This time is the worst but will lead to improvement.

Hugs!!

oneoffour's picture

I would take all visits upon the direction of the facility. If they say he is not ready, don't visit.

He will be placed in a room where he cannot harm himself. He will be supervised. He can threaten all kinds of stuff but THEY are the experts. You chose them to help your son/s-son. So let them do it.

Written letters wold be my choice. Phone calls would not be viable until he settles down. You and he will just get upset and you will second guess your decision and the next thing is DH is off to get him home and then he hates you for doing that to him and ... repeat from the last time.

He has to learn to trust people and make good judgement calls. Look what happened when he had unlimited internet access.

Email ... will he actually have internet access? Written letters would be best for a while if I were you.