SD17 replacing BM???
Everyday, there seems to be some "issue," "fight" or something between DH and SD. Fortuntately, we're are getting closer to the 18th Bday when she moves out.
However, I get this sense (and I have felt this way in past, even when SD was 9 or so) that she is trying to be her BM w/DH. BM and DH fought a lot, and BM was very verbally abusive and manipulative---still will try to get DH to hit her---he never has. Now I just get the sense that this is the only way SD thinks she can get DH attention or something--act like a B*&^* like BM and fill her shoes w/Dad
Has anyone else experienced this?
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Comments
hmm that's really strange
hmm that's really strange honey! I mean, i've noticed SD will talk to H with the exact tone and sarcastic undertones that BM uses with H but nothing extreme like what you're saying.
wow i wouldn't even know how to handle that. maybe Dh can call her out directly and tell her to stop treating him the way BM treated him because it's not cool?
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
I seriously don't think DH
I seriously don't think DH sees it. It hasn't gotten too much on abusive side, but I can see SD getting to the "be a real man---dont you have a d***" comments down the road. ANd I can see SD getting into abusive relationships too, as BM does---DH has been only BF/H she has had that hasn't gotten physical with her.
my basic rule of coping with
my basic rule of coping with behavior that H appears blind to is just this, "if it isn't bothering him enough to make him put a stop to it...then I shouldn't mommy him and try to make him see it either bc it will just frustrate me and make me angry at him."
if it starts to bother him, he'll put his foot down and fix it. It's hard to watch though as his wife and the woman who loves him dearly. ((((((Prayer))))))
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
Good Point. Sometimes I do
Good Point. Sometimes I do start to get sucked back into the drama of SD---when in reality, there is nothing I can do---guess I am just such a control freak, that now and then, I want that control too.
Until DH wants my opinion or help, I will just back off. It works best, even being PC of the girl---she's not mine, she is not someone I will have any relationship w/in future, unless she makes drastic changes. I will try instead to control MY BS15 being a butt to DH
aww honey you can get
aww honey you can get through this...it's tough to let him handle how he's treated but it's the best thing you can do for yourself right now. I'm a control freak so I TOTALLY get how ridiculously hard it is to let him determine how he's going to let his kid treat him
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin