Overpaid on CS/ no longer slave to the weekend skids
Remember how DH has to pay BM an additional $22 per day if he doesn't take his 8 day parent time? BM was treating the 8 days per month as mandatory.
First of all DH moved 300 miles away from BM and the skids so at most he only sees them every other weekend. (4 days, not 8.) So BM was charging DH $22 per day he missed...$88 on top of child support.
She's had us by the balls for the last 4 years and I finally demanded DH go to an attorney.
The attorney said the divorce decree is actually in error pertaining to custody. DH has been paying CS at the Joint Custody rate. The attorney said he has over paid approximately $275 EVERY MONTH! FURTHER, he stated that BM is not owed one dime for transportation costs unless it is on a holiday such as Easter, Xmas, Thanksgiving...BM has demanded DH pay he all of her fuel costs whenever she meets him halfway to swap the skids.
DH is required to continue splitting any medical costs but DOES NOT have to pay for ANYTHING extra, not karate, not football, not even clothing. That is all part of CS and BM has to make it work.
Poor little victim mentality BM harangues us for more money every chance she gets. Well DH gave her $4000 for orthodontics for both skids....guess what she did? Went to Cancun with her new boyfriend and then called to say the orthodontist won't treat the skids any further until a payment is made. Winner.
She thinks she needs more money now? Let's see how she likes getting CS slashed, gas money slashed and oh, by the way, DH is only required to see the skids ONE weekend per month. Hmm, do you think DH could get backpay for all the CS overages? Cause I know BM would do that.
(Before everyone freaks out, DH says he's going to take some of the CS difference and put it in a small account for the skids. When they truly need something, he'll pay half. He just won't be handing all of that money directly to BM so she can fund her vacations and leave the skids in shoes with holes.)
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Comments
How do you move away and cut
How do you move away and cut the time you spend with your kids in half and be required to pay less child support? Wouldn't he be required to pay more child support?
Op said BM is required to
Op said BM is required to meet DH halfway. So 150 miles to the drop off point and 150 miles back, them another 150 miles to pick up the kids and bring them back. So BM now has to drive 600 miles - 10 HOURS - EOWE just because her ex decided to move away. If I was BM I would be breathing fire for that reason alone, not to mention all of the cheapness OP and her DH are displaying.
I'm amazed that BM is
I'm amazed that BM is transporting 150 miles to meet halfway for a weekend.
I also don't get the money thing. Usually less time equals more money.
He needs to pay the orthodontist directly. No handing over cash to BM.
And while the attorney gave his opinion on the amount of CS, unless he goes to court to get it modified he can't reduce the amount and put some into an account for the kids. He can stop paying for extras, but the support amount needs to be modified by the court.
You should break up with your
You should break up with your husband.
You aren't happy. You are wishing children to be dead. You are thinking about suicide yourself.
You do not need this stress in your life. You weren't meant to be a stepmom. So when you move 2600 miles away, leave your husband behind.
In Some states, it doesn't
In Some states, it doesn't matter if you have the kids 40 percent of the time, or 10 percent. There is no pro-rating and the NCP pays 100 percent of their "share" of CS to the CP.
But as for moving away, the parent who moved should have to pay 100 percent of the transportation expense.
As a parent who is owed sixty
As a parent who is owed sixty grand in CS, this post just pisses me off. Yeah, have DH pay less, see the kids less, care about the kids he made less.
I love it when NCP's bitch about paying a couple hundred a month in CS. How much do you think it costs to raise kids??
Grow up.
she is leaving and moving to
she is leaving and moving to a different state... her DH decided to go with her...
In my state (NY) it doesn't
In my state (NY) it doesn't matter how much visitation NCP gets. CS stays the same based on combined income of all members of the NCP household and the BM's income.
I too am shocked that the BM does any of the transport. The Girhippo never did ANY transport because after all, the skids are part of HER body alone, her possession and therefore, it is by HER grace alone that the skids are ALLOWED to be seen by their dad.
It is quite conceivable that your DH will begin to mourn the "loss" of the skids and then blame you for not having a relationship with his kids.
Well, no, YOU wouldn't be
Well, no, YOU wouldn't be shocked as a skid and GUBM centric. In my case the GIR moved away and CHEF moved closer, yet the Gir did NONE of the transport--something which you wouldn't be shocked over either, I'd hazard a guess.
snort
snort
makes sense to me.... with
makes sense to me.... with the 22$ a day for the 4 days, and the gas he paid...and the extra transport he did... turns out he'd been giving BM an approximate 275$ too much each month...
and he gave her 4k for braces, which she didn't put on braces and demanded more...
not sure why everyone's got their hackles up?
Someone screwed up, he overpaid... now it's corrected, which means she's losing out on $?
Correct. To be clear...The
Correct.
To be clear...The divorce decree states that DH and BM have joint custody. That is obviously not the case since he lives practically a state away and sees them an average of 4 days per month.
What I failed to express clearly is that DH THOUGHT he had joint custody, yet all this time he has been paying the NCP rate, as if he does not have JOINT. Based on their decree and parent-time agreement, DH has overpaid BM for many years. And that little stunt she created of the $22 per day additional...obviously we all know that that is total made-up crap.
She has DEMANDED all the extras, the daily CS AND the CS that he is paying. (Based on his income, he is overpaying $275 each month.)
FINALLY he sat down with an attorney and was told all of this is made up by BM. She has threatened to sue (every month) since he doesn't 'see the skids his mandatory 8 days per month." Well that is made up and she doesn't understand. SHE is REQUIRED TO FURNISH THE SKIDS TO DH 8 DAYS PER MONTH. He is NOT obligated to take that time other than ONE weekend.
So now we have cleared that up with BM and guess what? It was no surprise to her. She was embarrassed cause after all these years she finally got caught scheming! She did not refute ONE fact that the attorney told DH. She now knows that she has been overpaid and she will not get an extra $22 per day he does not choose to see the skids. She will not be able to demand all the extras aside from medical. She knows that DH will not be owned by her anymore, dictating when he will be taking the skids.
DH just went from playing defense to offense and she has been called out on her manipulations.
Where is OP? I am trying to
Where is OP?
I am trying to make heads and tails of what she wrote.
Still stuck on his payment TO bm for not taking visitation. Was that court ordered?
So, he was voluntarily paying
So, he was voluntarily paying BM $22 a day if he missed any of his 8 days? Why would he even agree to that, if not court ordered?
Your DH moved away after the divorce? How is BM required to meet him half way?
If there is an error in the decree pertaining to custody and the CS amount, he will have to have that modified, he cannot just start paying less.