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the storm has hit!

smurfy1smile's picture

BM's lawyer finally sent us papers to go to court. BM wants full physical and legal custody. BF would continue to have EOW and alternating holidays and such -the basic parenting arrangement. In her affidavit, BM states than BF is still angry about the divorce and refuses to compromise - interpretation refuses to do it her way! BM also states that she needs BF help in defraying the cost of the child care, day care expenses and medical insurance and medical expanses. BM states BF has never contributed to baby's daycare or medical expenses. First of all, she never asked, second of all, she never gave a true cost for daycare or every offered to provide copies of bills. We had to find that out on our own. BM said the daycare provider did not tell her if it was this cost per week or that cost per week and that was in August. BM wants the court to assign a parenting time expeditor to help them work out a parenting time schedule. They all ready have one and its working so far but BF wants joint physical and legal and BM refuses to give on either issue. BF is okay with not having equal time but he wants to consulted about baby's care and such since BM has a history of making bad decisions. BM made it very clear in an email that she feels BF should pay for half of everything in regards to baby and his expenses. Fine, but if he is paying half shouldn't he get half the time too. I will never understand BM and have no desire to try. We are putting together BF's response and including things like BM is hiding part of her income and not being truthful with all of her statements.

This is just nuts. I need some support and encouragement. We have our ducks in a row and we cannot afford an attorney and BF's parents can't afford to borrow him money for one. We will wing it for now and just consult his attorney and ask for advise and if we need to go to trial, so be it we will find the money for an attorney.

Comments

Sia's picture

Been there, done that! Got more than the Tshirt... Wink I sure hope it all works out for you both! Seems like the crazy ones are always the ones causing all the crap! Sounds like you are doing a great job now, so keep it up!!!

smurfy1smile's picture

there are no orders for anything at this point. BM was offered some cash until they could come to an agreement and she refused that twice and now is saying stuff like I have to pay for all the child care and BF has not contributed - she never asked - poor BM she took the baby to work with her until June 2008. He did not even start daycare until very late August.

bellacita's picture

i think most judges want to give joint legal and physical custody w one having primary residence, or at the very least, joint legal so both can be involved in decision making. unless there is something that would suggest its not in the kids best interest, which it doesnt look like there is here.

CS and visitation are completely separate....just bc u pay half, doesnt mean u get half the time. it goes by incomes of both parents. that being said, most judges want the kids to spend as much time as possible w both parents, and at least in our case, wanted DH to have more than EOW, even when he did not (dont ask!). the courts dont like the kids to go more than a week w/o seeing either parent, so thats what they seem to push for. as long as ur DH wants the time w them, he CAN get a reasonable amount, no matter what BM says.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin