Blog Hogging sorry...having a mild freak out and for a stupid reason too
Getting ready to head home within the next 45 minutes and DO NOT want to deal with the ensuing argument about osd wanting my car, (it's not even repaired yet), and me saying no. There's just been so much drama lately I feel like I can't handle any more.
I already have anxiety issues; right now I can't feel my feet, my face is going numb and I want to cry. I realize that saying no is all I have to do, it's the yelling and door slamming and stupid shit osd normally does when she doesn't get her way that I'm dreading.
Of course, this may not happen, I don't know for sure. She's already on this pity-party trip because her birthday, "is gonna suck"; I've been guilty of giving into her with certain things in the past because I just don't want her home with me. I know I need to stand my ground, I just feel so guilty because dd(9) is here for the summer and has already seen some of osd's stupid-ass tantrum throwing.
Dh is on mid-shift, so he isn't home until 11 tonight.
I'm tired of things being out of hand and right now I just want to lay on my face and fucking cry until this kid is gone from the house.
Like I said, sometimes I let fear build up inside me beforehand only to realize later that things are not so bad or are not as ridiculous as I'd anticipated. I guess it's just the last couple of weeks that are really getting to me.
Just needed to get that out in an attempt to calm myself down.