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Aaaand here we go again...

omgstop's picture


Yesterday after work, I was getting ready to take ysd back to the brothel, (Voldemort's lair), when ysd asks if she can talk to me about something. I already know what's coming. The basics are:

1. Regardless of how many times she's told Voldemort that she (ysd) does NOT want to meet any of her, (Voldey's), "boyfriends" Voldey insists that she meet them. Voldey has been dating Kendoll for around a month now. She tried to entice ysd into meeting him with the lines, "But I think he's really special", and, "But you could go out on his boat on Lake Michigan and it would be really fun!". Ysd also said that she has seen Kendoll's truck there after 10 pm.

2. After the stunt ysd pulled staying out late one night, she had consequences at the lair as well as at the apartment. Her concern is that regardless of what she does, how early she comes home, Voldemort is not happy with her and finds something to nit-pick about. [I think it's due to ysd not wanting to meet the Kendoll]

3. Evidently Voldemort told ysd that the only reason ysd wants to come over to the apartment more is because she can, "do whatever she wants with no supervision". That's funny.

Okay short explanation: Generally, I don't have these conversations with ysd because it's really not my place. Very recently, she stayed in a mental health facility on a 72 hour hold for swallowing a bottle of Tylenol. I felt like I needed to let her talk since she RARELY talks about anything that's bothering her, let alone her feelings. She's been in therapy since the incident and is doing very well, the talking about things is an enormous deal.

I didn't offer any advice or information. I did tell her I was glad she opened up to me and that this were things she needed to talk about with her dad. She thanked me for listening and asked me if I would convey the basic points to dh. I agreed to do so, and did last night. They should be getting down to that conversation right about now.

There was a little more to it that what I put here. I'm now worried that we will have another situation like we did with osd on our hands: osd left her mother's and NEVER went back and that was that. Voldemort didn't raise a fuss because she is afraid of osd, (Voldey doesn't like conflict and osd called Voldey on ALL her bad parenting, constantly), but with ysd there will be more of a fight. I know there's nothing I can do about it, however I feel as though I need to be prepared for battle. I don't want to sway my husband either way, and I certainly don't want to see ysd go through what osd went through. Gah, I always, questions, comments, suggestions welcome and thanks for reading!

EDIT: YSd also said that Voldey wanted to sit down and have a conversation with ysd and ysd's best friend because Voldey suspects that the best friend is a bad influence. This kid is fine, she's spent lots of time at the apartment and she and ysd generally watch tv, eat food and go to the hot tub/pool. If I were this kids mother, I'd put my foot in Voldemort's ass before I allowed her to, "have a discussion", with my kid. Ysd now doesn't want her bff at the lair...Voldemort alienated ysd from her bff from child hood, (that's another post), and now she's trying to do it again.


misSTEP's picture

It's like abusive relationships, they don't want you to have contact with the outside world so they can convince you that your situation is "normal."

omgstop's picture

That's exactly the way I see it too. Voldemort took ysd, (on her 15th bday), and her bff at the time, (also 15), to a head shop, "to buy tye dyed shirts and socks", then snuck pics of the girls holding bongs, then told bff's parents about it. After that, bff was no longer allowed to hang w ysd, they'd been friends since 5th or 6th grade. /sigh

It's like Voldemort would rather ysd have no friends in order to diminish the amount of parenting she has to do.

omgstop's picture

Seriously, I think the only person that knew the extent of Voldey's absolute crazy is dh. And another thing on the friends issue: ss has ZERO friends, other than like default friends that he plays with when Voldey visits her, "long-time friend", Bob. Yes, Bob. Other than that, no one comes looking for the kid at her place, he's never out in the neighborhood with other kids. I've always said she treats her kids like expensive accessories or pieces of furniture, just for show. It's so sad.

omgstop's picture

Honestly I'm not sure if she is really aware of all the damage she is causing. It's one of the slowest, saddest train wrecks I've ever witnessed. It's scary how delusional she is. The tirade's about, "not living in fear and guilt anymore", combined with the quarterly, "I'm not bringing any more men around my kids", proclamations, followed by her parading men through the house and crying about how guilty she feels for cheating on dh and ruining the kids lives is ASTOUNDING. And exhausting, to say the least.

Evidently dh and ysd had a the talk, I don't get details until later on, out of ear shot.

kathc's picture

Do you think encouraging your OSD to talk to her sister would help? I don't know what relationship they have but since OSD has been through issues with Voldemort maybe she can reassure her sister that it's not any failing on her part, their BM really does suck? (Of course, you can't say that...but her sister could...)

omgstop's picture

Just this year the girls have started to get along again. Osd is BEYOND angry and hurt with BM and gets irate when she hears whats happening with her sister. That being said, it's hard for ysd to talk to osd about any of it, (unless she's venting and wants someone to agree with her that her mom sucks), because ysd still wants a relationship with BM where osd does not. Osd and dh have both told ysd that its not her, and I think she understands that, they just have to keep reinforcing it.

I'm trying to stay as far back as possible in the meantime, while still being encouraging with ysd. Sadly, I'm pretty certain that osd will have little to no relationship with bm and it looks like shaky ground with ysd. The fact that bm gave up on osd just as she was entering into her teens and becoming a regular teenage monster, really hurt osd more than she will admit and she is NOT a forgiving soul; she can grudge-hold like no other.

/Sigh. Can I stay at work now? lol