Thank you all SO MUCH to everyone who gave their kind words and support the other day. Sunday was a very hard day for me and I really needed it. I honestly didn't know whether at the end of the day we would still be together or not.

For the first time in our relationship, I didn't have the ultra-dramatic, end-of-the-world reaction to the thought of us breaking up that I always do. I just swallowed the lump in my throat and started thinking about things that were going to change. I'm not really sure what that means. Maybe i've crossed a changing point in myself, or grown more mature about our relationship. Maybe he was right, maybe we are drifting apart - but I don't think so. I think that these past 3 years have changed me so much, and I've finally come to grips with the situation.

We are still together. He still won't discuss marriage or babies with me anymore like he used to. His comment on that was "can't we just enjoy being together for a while?" I'm not really sure what to think about that, and it's hard for me to just all of a sudden focus on the present instead of the future.

Maybe focusing so much on our future is what is causing whatever problems that he has. Maybe we're so focused on the future that we're blind to our own problems in the present. I don't know if this is what he's thinking, but now that I think about it, it makes sense.

Now, BM has been kind and cordial for the past couple of weeks. It's been a pleasant change, to say the least. she sends little updates about SS, asks pertinent questions, and hasn't been offensive, mean, irrational, or vindictive at all. But now she's starting to ask why I'm not responding to her, if something is wrong, has she upset me, etc. She's being so nice that it almost makes me feel bad to continue to not respond to her. And she's giving me all these updates that really should just go over my head to BF...because I can't bring them up to him considering how he feels about me talking to her or her passing information along through me. He doesn't want to talk to her, though, and when she does send him emails he doesn't respond to them. They are unable to speak on the phone without fighting. He has told her that if she has anything to say to him she needs to send it through his lawyer or his mother unless it's an absolute emergency. She doesn't mind talking through a third party as long as it's me. I don't want to tell her that I can't talk to her and risk her running to BF asking him why he doesn't want us talking...because then he'll know I said something to her and that's enough in itself to set him off. But I don't feel right continuing to ignore her when she's being so pleasant lately. I know it's probably just a ploy to suck me in for her next trap, but at the same time BF is missing out on important updates on SS due to their communication issues. So what do I do?