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Denying phone access

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

I need some opinions on a situation we are currently facing. The Court Order in regards to SD5 states that the non-custodial parent (DH) is to have "liberal phone visitation." According to the standards of our state, liberal is not defined, however "reasonable phone visitation" is defined as 2 calls per week and one call per weekend. As of today, DH has called BM for 3 days since we had SD5 this weekend. And he has yet to talk to his daughter.

BM has given DH 3 numbers to contact her with. The first being her home phone. The ringer is not turned on and she doesn't have voicemail or an answering machine. She has caller id and uses that to know when DH has called. The second number and third numbers are her parents' numbers. She stated that if there is an emergency, DH is to call her parents and they will know how to get in touch with her. This is because she refused to give DH her cell phone number. Well, one day she was out and about when we had SD5 in our custody and she wanted to talk to her, so lo and behold, her cell phone number appeared on our caller id. But, even if he calls this number, she NEVER answers and she refuses to set up the voicemail on it. He has no option to leave a message at any of the numbers. DH has her work number and tried to call her there today, but she had the secretary brush him off.

My question to you - have any of you dealt with contempt of court charges in regards to phone access? I will be sending the same information to our attorney tomorrow, but I was just curious how this situation has been handled by others.


KeepsGettingBetter's picture

but has your hubby tried calling her cell with a private number. I know in Australia there is a 4 digit number you can dial before putting in the phone number so the ID will show up as private on her phone rather than your DHs number. I sometimes have done this when BF and I are arguing and he wont answer my calls.

momgoingnuts's picture

we have the same problem so let me know what happens because we are looking at doing the same thing, as of right now she has broken the court order so many times but yet it's like the court system in our area will not do anything to her it's like she can do no wrong. it sucks but if it was dh breaking it he'd have fines and jail time its just not fair... let me know thanks!

alwaysme's picture

but unless you have a tonne of money to go to court you are screwed and even then it will not make her answer the phone.. it is your word against hers and the courts dont give a shit. I am a SM and Step-child myself and my dad went through the same thing when i was growing up, my mother was an asshole the courts didnt help him and in the end he just gave up. But he always tried and he made sure on the few times i did talk to him (mum took us out of state)he reminded me that he was always there.

Guess who i have the better relationship with now? my dad and i are so very close and my mum is still an asshole. You just need to perservere, hang in there and just keep trying. Remind your daughter you love her on the odd times you do talk to her. Remember they are adults longer than they are children, she will be closer to you in the finish.

PS: BM's like that are f*%king bitches.

Kb3Hooah's picture

Here is a suggestion. Reasonable is twice per week plus once per weekend right? So next time your DH see's/talks to BM tell her the exact days AND times he will be calling the kids, this way she knows to expect the call. I would suggest not only discussing this in person with BM, but also send an email with the call schedule, WITH a read receipt. Document each and every single time she does not answer the phone for DH to talk to the kids, after you have docemented a pattern, you can take that documentation, along with the email and read receipt to your attorney, and it should be enough proof to show contempt.

“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”