You are here

These awful phone calls

MJL2010's picture

Has anyone had any success with proving BM's alienation/interrogation tactics, and inappropriate use of her damn unrestricted phone access? It's illegal to record the calls without parties' knowledge, I know- but BM is so loud when she talks to the boys that even if you're in the next room of our acoustically live house, you can hear her unnaturally loud voice....and also we hear the boys' responses, usually "Yes....No.....Yes....Yes......No.....No, I love you Mommy...." etc....etc....or the more sensitive one starts crying....ugh. And getting ready to go to court, we were trying to think of ways to make the phone nonsense a relevant part of this whole shitstorm.

She actually quizzed them the other day, on the phone, about their meeting with their law guardian. We were not listening in- merely in the same room- and of course she accused us of listening on the other phone. She is more unstable by the day.

MJL2010's picture

Ooh, thank you, Beaccountable. After DH and BM had their preliminary meeting in court last week, they were told that the ad litem is done, for all intents and purposes. He spoke with those boys for very short times during the meetings with each of their parents, and his advice to the lawyers was to "...have both of their clients knock it off..." around the boys. Problem with this? DH does not alienate; he does clean-up from BM's alienation, while remaining neutral with them about why she does what she does. We are huge proponents of "Mom's house, mom's rules....". So while this guy (law guardian) had all the facts in front of him (including the time she called DH a "fuckhead" and a "douchebag" IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN, which is one of the reasons DH is requesting an order of protection from all her harassment), law guardian did not quiz the kids about incidents and may not realize the severity?????

When you listened in, did you record? How were you able to use it against BM in court? Please tell me more! You make me feel like we are not totally powerless against these harassment/alienation games. I am sorry that you are going through difficult alienation- it's disgusting that these people choose to put kids in the middle for their own spiteful agenda. But I do thank you for sharing your experience. LOVE Steptalk!!

SW2613's picture

BM is half deaf and loud as hell. We can hear from rooms away. For awhile, SS7 didn't like talking to anyone on the phone holding it to his ear, he would only talk on speakerphone. One day while playing a board game together, she calls and he puts it on speaker. He tells her that he his someone at school today because they said something to him. She said "wait to tell someone before you hit somebody". I had to step in and say something. He had been getting behavior reports, detentions, and suspensions for this kind of thing due to having contact with her again. I simply said in a calm, but matter of fact voice "No, there is never a reason to hit anybody. Always tell the teacher if there is trouble, at no time is it appropriate to hit." She then sighs loudly and exclaims "Oh my god!" Later, she files in her contempt that "the step-mother frequently interrupts the conversation with demeaning and derogatory comments." If she wants derogatory, I can do that all day long, but that was merely correcting bad advice given from a violent, abusive person to a child. Now it is ordered that he must talk normally. Even not on speaker I hear her aggravating white trash voice ask him dumb questions. The good thing is she is only allowed calls on Tuesday and Thursday and they usually last only 40 secs to 2 minutes. Her defense in court for the short calls was "he's only 7, what is there to talk about?" Meanwhile, the kid never shuts up.