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OT - when you have the same phone number for years

Aniki's picture

This is what I get for having the same cell phone number for years. And by years I mean 20+.

I do NOT answer Blocked or Restricted calls. They can go to voicemail (and rarely do as they are scam callers who typically hang up). Calls from other area codes either go to voicemail or I answer with things like "Sheriff's Department", "County Morgue", "This is WINO radio and you're our 17th caller. Congratulations!!!" Local area code, unrecognized, I also let go to voicemail.

Amazingly enough, I just received a voicemail from my EX FIANCE. I haven't seen him in 15 years. Seems ol' Stretch "regrets how things ended between us" (he was an asshat), he's "getting divorced" (from the love of your life?!), and was wondering if I'd like to "hook up for a few drinks" (as is get drunk and boink, I'm sure).

What.The.Hell. Someone get me off this rollercoaster!!! I know what it is. There was a full moon yesterday.

My voicemail is the robot stating what number you've called - nothing personal. I can let him think it's someone else's number. Or should I tell him SURE! and let him know I know go by "Jack" since I came out? LMAO!!!

Comments

Aniki's picture

Dammit, Murphy, I just spewed LaCroix Mango all over my computer screen and desktop!!!

Psssst... maybe he'll go Bond for Deed....

tog redux's picture

What kind of an egotistical dumbass gets divorced and looks up an ex fiancee from 15 years ago and thinks she's still available to "hook up for drinks".   And that she would want to?

Ignore the Asshat. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Men with large "egos" rarely know how to use them in my experience. They rely on their presence being present enough.

Aniki's picture

I agree. They seem to think a woman should be in the throes of The Big O at the mere sight of a turgid longfellow.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Aniki, I gotta meet you in person one of these days. Something about you must scream "I'm a goddamn goddess in human form" (which I already suspected) because the amount of people loving and hating you right now is unbelievable!

Also, I'd find a random dick pic on Google and send it with the message "not sure who you were trying to reach, but I'm game". Old woman tatas work, too.

Aniki's picture

Lt Dad, you are responsible for this conjuring of Evil Aniki! *diablo*

Evil Aniki laughs while googling monster schlongs. "Well, hello there, Chuck. Thanks for lending me that spunky pic!"

somethingwicked's picture

...hubby and 7 children ,8 step kids and 4 fosters .Can't wait to catch up on old times! 

somethingwicked's picture

Did Creepy McCreep know this Mr Do Drinks and Boink  from the good (not so much ) old days?

Wondering if this is how Creepy Old Yeller who wanted you to  let him squat in the home that you plan to sell  is leveraging revenge.

Ya never know with these seedy sorts.

 

Aniki's picture

No, Wicked. I've known Creepy all of my life - we grew up in the same neighborhood and he was ahead of me in school. Drinks is younger and went to a different school system.

Aniki's picture

So here's what I'm gonna do...

I'm meeting some friends tonight for karaoke and my birthday celebration. I'm going to let one of my friends call Drinks back. One of my MALE friends. Diablo

What should I have Kamikaze Karl say to Drinks?

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Have your husband speak with him. Isn’t your husband a veteran? Probably your douche ex fiancé will never, ever bother you again. Wink

I don’t have the same phone number but if none of my ex boyfriends come out of the woodwork, please?

 If my ex husband had the gall, geez, I’d tell him wtf? F*ck off and don’t contact me again. 

Aniki's picture

Yes, my husband is a jarhead and Gulf War veteran. And he wouldn't call Drinks. Evil Aniki feels like being evil. LOL