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First weekend of semi-disengaging

Ninji's picture

Thursday, SO and I had a huge fight where he accused me of disrespecting SS, being rude to SS and hating his kids.

He said I need to learn my place in that house. Fine, I will no longer "take your place" I'm done with anything Skid related. This really pissed him off and more "You hate my kids" bull crap.

Friday, he had an orthodontist appt for SD. An appt that I made for her a few months ago. I gave SO all the info on Monday (I was already planning on disengaging because of SO and SS's behavior toward me). Of course, he did nothing with the info. He kept texting me all day on Friday about this stupid appt. He can't find the place, can't find the number, no one is helping them, blah blah blah. I was getting a new phone and missed a lot of the text which I was ignoring for the most part.

I refused to cook dinner Friday night, I didn't even eat with them. At one point while they were eating, I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and SS is dancing beside the table with SO's phone, not eating and SO was doing the dishes. Something that is/was supposed to be Skids chore on Friday night. I didn't say one word, just went back into my room and watched NetFlix.

On Saturday morning, SO asked SD if she wanted to go see the new Jurassic movie. SO and I planned on going together but didn't make it. Of course she wants to go but SS doesn't because he only likes cartoons. SO says "Well, looks like it's just you (SD) and me"

I think not....I told him I wasn't watching SS for him---One, WE were supposed to see this movie together and Two, If I'm so horrible to SS, it would be really irresponsible for him to leave SS alone with me. This make him really mad.

Saturday night we get into another HUGE fight. I got upset because now that SO has to help me with buying groceries (see previous post) he is refusing to help pay for snacks and juice....Things only consumed by him and Skids, so I don't care. BUT that night he kept asking me to make cookies or a cake or something because "It's father's day weekend" We didn't have any. I had one box of chocolate muffins I was saving if I got a sweet tooth...Well, SO decides that SD can make them. I got angry because he is refusing to help fund snacks but has not problem letting SD make the one "snack" item I had left that I paid for. This started the fight but of course the fight went into how much I hate his kids.

I told him I was tired of being treated like a roommate. I cannot remember the last time we did anything together without his kids. I asked him and he can't remember either. It's been months, if not a year. This turned into him accusing me of "hating my life" . Which I never said.

On Sunday, we were supposed to go fishing, but after the fight Saturday night, he wasn't talking to me. So, I took my dogs and went to the dog park while SO sat home and did nothing with his kids.

We did end up taking the boat out later Sunday evening and had a good time, we even did the wild thing on the boat. Sometimes I can't believe this craziness is my life.

So to sum up...SO and I had two HUGE fights. Skids did zero chores with me disengaging and SO in charge. Both kids laundry baskets still sitting in the garage not even started and neither cleaned the hamster cage or feed the poor things. They didn't take care of "their dog" didn't clean their bathroom DID NOTHING. SO said to me last night when we got home and Skids were back with BM "But I told them 2 or 3 times to do those things" LOLOLOLOLOL


Ninji's picture

I've been asking myself that same question.

I'm going away for a month in July for a work related class I have to take. I told him that while I'm gone we both need to really thing about this relationship and if it's going to continue. We are both tired of all the fighting. I may be moving come Aug.

P Popper's picture

it sounds like we have the same guy.
I am so sorry.

I understand, though.
It's hard to get out when you are completely vested in this.
Please don't go broke.
Keep your options open.
Keep your distance...

I am sorry you are dealing with this.
I, too, hate my life and cant believe I am in this mess.
I completely understand.

Pokeyketchum's picture

Hey ninji, I dated this guy. For three years. It never got better. His logic was always to benefit him. We went to see my family once for thanksgiving. I paid for the whole trip, because it was to see my family. (Per him). We went to Branson to see his family for SD. We did everything for SD because it was her vacation to see her family. (Per him). When we got back home he wanted half the price. He couldn't see the double standard.
He made three times what I made.
He would quibble over groceries also.
You can never win with these guys. They see us as a paycheck and help.
It never ends.

kathc's picture

I'm sorry but I'm not even reading past the first bit when I nearly choked to death on him telling you you need to "learn your place"

Are you kidding? If you're ok with someone talking to you that way then please get into counseling to learn your worth. NOBODY should be told to "learn their place", are we still in feudal England?

Tuff Noogies's picture

no shit!!! i woulda put my foot up his ass for that.

OP, i dont know what to tell you, doll. i'm just sorry for you.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

That comment calls for an immediate Flying Five Fist Monkey Nut Punch. WTH?!?! She's not 5 years old, FFS.