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Another DH/SS Rant

New_to_this's picture

Ugghhh. DH says to SS14 at the dinner table, "you're a really good big brother." What a joke. I get that DH is trying to get SS to have positive feelings about the family and about DS3, but why outright lie?? Did the therapist tell him to say stuff like this? WTF! Who knows?

SS barely has a relationship with his little brother. He doesn't play with him at all. We can't buy anything for DS without him getting jealous. We walk on eggshells around SS. I'm sick of the pretending, but I pretend every day for the sake of DS, who loves his older brother despite the fact that he's not nice to him. But, I won't lie and say he's a good brother. He totally isn't and I don't know what DH gets out of saying that. Because now SS is actually going to think that his crappy behavior and actions make him a good person. Ugghhh!


New_to_this's picture

Thanks for the insight. It's really helpful, especially the part where it paints a picture of behaviors and actions for others to look for in him. I think DH is trying to do that. It's just so hard to hear stuff like that when it clearly isn't the case. When I hear it, it feels like DH is living in some fantasy world and if he says it in public, it discounts all of the crappy behavior I deal with and makes me look like the angry evil stepmother.

Siemprematahari's picture

I think your H wishes that it was the case that SS is a great big brother but knows deep down he isn't. I'm guessing that he's saying it thinking that it may motivate SS to be better. Either way you know the truth and your son will see it also the older he gets. Allow SS to show with his actions what he's really about. His behavior will come to light.