I can't see myself staying with DH for the long haul. I've spent this entire relationship arguing with him over BM and the skids. And after disengaging, I still have to watch the stupidity around me. I still have to deal with the things that are dropped into my lap even if I've stopped helping DH with the skids because they are still in my house.
I've spent so much mental energy on BM and skid nonsense and just waiting for them to grow up. But, dealing with that has prevented me from dealing with plain old marriage issues with DH. Like... I feel like a maid. It feels way worse when the skids are around, but I feel just as much as a maid when they are not.
Also, I like to go out. I stopped traveling frequently when I met DH. And, I don't like video games. I told DH this when we first met and he told me he used to play but doesn't anymore. But, since having my two children with him he's both immersed himself in video games and can play hours a day with my son (or he plays while my son watches him play). That's his bonding time with him.
Or he sits them in front of the tv while he plays on his phone, while I cook and clean. He doesn't hear them argue or cry or yell because he just tunes them out, so I end up leaving the kitchen to settle whatever is going on while he's sitting on the couch staring at his damn phone.
I feel alone too. Part of it is due to COVID, but he is supposed to be the person I can talk to and we don't have real talks. I don't think he gets me and I don't get him. We are together for our kids. But I'm not ready to end this relationship. But it's not because of him, it's because raising two little kids by myself would be rough and even though he sticks them in front of screens, he's still providing me relief.
I've tried addressing all these issues with him but it doesn't change. And, it's always BM and skid issues we argue about instead.