I'm just super annoyed and ranting and writing this down as a reminder to myself. We have been completely isolated from the everyone due to Covid. The only people we've (me, DH, DD2, and DS5) interacted with are the skids (SD20 and SS17). Normally we don't spend time with them because SD20 is in college and SS17 stays to himself in the basement, but SS had been spending time lately playing video games with DS5 and DH. Just a few days ago I noticed a rash on DS5 that looked like a classic ringworm fungal infection (red circle, clear middle) - there was no doubting it. It's obvious that DS didn't get it from me or DH. And after doing some research I found out that ringworm can only be passed through people and pets and we have no pets. SS has a history of fungal infections on his scalp and skin and piss poor hygiene. SD has eczema and a host of other skin issues. It's from one of them, and pretty certain it's SS.

So why is it that I have to pretend like it could be anyone. Why do I have to present my case to DH, as if I or he could unknowingly have ringworm, then pass it on? Why do I even have to make a case. Once we found out that DS had it, DH should have made it his mission to figure out who spread it to DS. Not out of annoyance or anger. Out of the sheer fact that ringworm is contagious and if one of the 4 of us passed it to DS, we'd better figure out who it is, so they can get treated and not pass it to someone else or further contaminate the house. I'm very clear to DS5 that he should not touch the area, he's using medication, and I'm following other recommendation. But, why the f--- am I cleaning the crap out of the house and washing everything if DH is not going to address the obvious source of the problem. Arghh!

I eventually had to get extremely direct with him. He learned a method of marriage communication a month ago from his therapist, which involved each partner being able to talk to the other for 5 minutes straight. No talking back. No addressing later what they said during the 5 minutes. Just listening and absorbing. So I used that, so that he couldn't say idiotic things to me like "well, it could've been anyone" or "I'm waiting for the right time to bring it up" or "I don't want to shame anyone". I told him how pissed I was, not only, that DS has ringworm but that DH hadn't bothered to tell BM or SD about it. So, SD could be spreading it to her college roommates or SS could have caught it from BM's house or spread it around to others in that household too. I told him how pissed I was of how he was handling this, while I've been working my a** off trying to clean the house, since I have no clue how DS got it. I told DH that it's pretty obviously SS and he better not expect SS to be around us AT ALL until SS is being treated with medication. I told him that if he did not address this and let SS around us, I'd be forced to tell DS to keep his distance from his brother, not walk where SS walked and not sit where he sat. After my 5 minutes, DH only said, I need to go get my computer now, so I can write some texts and emails.

I'm glad he finally took action, but mad that I have to force it upon him. This is a guy that pays his bills early, that addresses his emails and texts immediately. But, for whatever reason, when it comes to skids and BM, he waits and avoids hard coversations. I'm sure he finally also took action quickly because of my threat that SS would not be able to see us and that he would be treated like a leper if he did. I asked DH (after he sent out his email and text) whether he didn't think about all these things until I brought it up or if he was trying to avoid dealing with the situation at hand. He said he didn't know.

I'm glad to be finally feeling like my cleaning is not for naught. I'm still pissed that DS caught this and worried that ringworm will show up other places on him or on DD or me or DH. I will forever be antsy everytime SS sits somewhere or lays his head somewhere in the same space as my kids. Truthfully, I hope SS just stays in the basement all the time.  He's really icky in general and honestly, I can't be around him because he truly stinks. I'm pissed that DH is so passive and has always refused to shame SS about his hygiene.  And now, it's not just stink, it's contagious conditions that can be easily passed to my little kids. I will be disinfecting the entire house during and after his visits. I so wish that DH would just woman up and be blunt and truthful to the skids to protect the health of our kids. Really?? Why is that so much to ask.