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What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

newstepmom2008's picture

The next person who tells me "you knew what you were getting into" is going to get the nastiest soap I can find shoved in their mouth!

DH's family and ex are THE MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL group of people I have EVER met, and I've been a social worker for 5 years! You won't believe yesterday's turn of events with BM!

OK, yesterday I leave the doctor's office and drag myself to the drugstore. (I'm beginning to think the stress from DH and his husband is causing all of this!)

Anyway, I'm in the drugstore waiting for my prescriptions when my mother-in-law calls. She's freaking out and telling me how her daughter (my sister-in-law that I've only met once in several years) wants to talk to me. I'll try to make this whole mess short b/c the stories from the in laws match each other.

Sister In Law and her common law husband, we'll call him Jimmy, have to go to court b/c CPS gave them a horrific report (I'll get to that in a minute.) When they get to the courthouse, Jimmy's ex, we'll call her Jill, is there of course. But supporting Jill is BM!!!!! Now BM is supposed to either be at work or taking care of SS who just got out of surgery. Instead she's there to support Jill who was busted for taking so many drugs that she was unconscious on the floor. Jill's son (a toddler) almost died from an asthma attack while she was out, and the teenager, we'll call her Betty, is missing.

Betty is Jimmy and Jill's daughter. The police FINALLY find Betty. She states she ran away b/c her mother has been forcing her to take drugs and then selling her for sex! OMG!!!!!!!! Needless to say Jimmy and my sister-in-law are furious and trying to get custody. My sister-in-law was ready to go and literally kill Jill. I had to talk her down and remind her that while Jill is one of the most sick people I've ever heard of that if she breaks the law, she will go to prison and then who will raise her sons. After a while she finally listened to me. (Although I totally understand why she was in such a rage!)

Anyway, here's where BM fits into all this. She was there supporting Jill instead of caring for my SS. Turns out that she has also been taking the kids around Jill and her daughter frequently. Oldest SS has been mentioning these names, but since we don't live in the same town, I had no clue who they were or how dangerous this place was.

Turns out Jill is a meth user/maker/seller. Jill also takes any other drug she can get her hands on. BM is also a drug addict, we just can't prove it. She uses NA as a cover to show "how hard she's trying to be a 'good mother'" The fact that Jill sold her daughter for sex and BM says this is her best friend worries the living daylights out of me. Especially since BM's "fiance" i.e. semi-live in girlfriend took disturbing pictures of my SD. The last time we had the skids, I was helping SD with her tights and going over the good touch bad touch stuff and I mentioned that we NEVER EVER let people take pictures of us without our clothes on.

SD interrupted and said, (we'll call girlfriend Cruella) "Cruella takes pictures of me naked." I said, "Next time she tries to do that you need to yell NO!" She said "I did tell her no, but Cruella said it was OK and it's just funny" (it was either it's just funny or it's fun...something like that).

I told her it is NOT fun or funny and she needs to yell NO from now on no matter what Cruella and BM tell her!

I went onto SS's facebook site and on Cruella's facebook site, there are pictures of SD in only underwear on this nasty looking mattress! I am furious!

I don't think CPS will do ANYTHING, but I reported it all anyway.

There has NEVER been anything like this happen in my family and I can't believe DH is not as scared and outraged as I am. BM is taking these children around a pedophile!!!!!!!!!! I hope they hang Jill from the courthouse lawn and I hope somehow they implicate BM in it and hang her and Cruella too!

Now just to add icing on the cake, BM is refusing to let us have middle SS b/c he had surgery. She's afraid I can't take care of him properly. OMG! I'm the ONLY one in this bunch who always remembers to give them their meds, have them brush their teeth, and have them take a shower. I've taken care of medically fragile people, and I NEVER take drugs or anything that could make me at less than 100% mentally alert!


try2beme's picture

Why is it okay for people to tell us "you knew what you were getting into" if we complain about our SKIDS, but if we were to tell parents with newborn babies "quit complaining about the lack of sleep and the knew what you were getting into" we'd be deemed unsympathetic cretins??

newstepmom2008's picture

Great Point -- we'd been seen as the cruelest people on earth!

Or what about bio parents who constantly complain about their teenagers!

WowjustWow's picture

Wow! I have never heard of such a cluster! I would think that CPS would be all over the pictures of SD being posted on the internet. And the BM?? What kind of nut is she?? Can your DH not file for both of them to have drug tests done? I know it' s probably not that easy, but lord, I would fight for that one.

I hope you guys can get the courts or CPS to see how un-safe it is for the kids. It's good they have you there to care about them. My in-laws are dysfunctional too, so I can relate.

LAtPoly's picture

Agree w/ToTheEdge: I'd have thought CPS would be all over that. And I think your DH needs to file for temporary full custody because he's concerned BM is on drugs, at the minimum ask for a drug test pronto. Go get a lawyer. Seriously.

Ugh. I feel for you, I can only imagine the stress this brings. How are you coping through all this unnecessary chaos? Is anyone supporting you?


newstepmom2008's picture

I so wish that DH would get his head out of the sand and actually believe that it's worth fighting. He thinks that we have no chance of winning. We've tried to call CPS so many times -- this last time they acted like I was just telling them that BM puts her daughter in time out.

Most Evil's picture

That is very disturbing. I would try to get some emergency custody order, under these circumstances! I am a little speechless even-!!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

newstepmom2008's picture

I called CPS -- they acted like it was NOTHING!

They are getting ANOTHER call tomorrow b/c I found out that BM is letting oldest SS spend the night at "Jill's" place! I'm so furious I can't stand it.