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Another CPS Update

newstepmom2008's picture

Submitted by newstepmom2008 on Mon, 03/16/2009 - 10:52am

OK, as my other posts have stated, BM is being a crappy "mother" again. I called CPS this morning and reported how BM sees no problem letting her child stay with "Jill". On Thursday, she actually defended this woman's character in court!! She refused to get SS medical care on Thursday and Friday. Told how the nasty girlfriend is taking naked pictures of SD and posting them on facebook, and the latest comment that SD told me that she gets put in time out with her toys while mommy and "Jill" take pills and the only response I got was "We aren't a preventative agency." No actual harm has happened yet, so we can't do anything. Oh and here's another great line from this twit, "Have you actually seen the mother take the pills." By this point I was so frustrated with this woman that I got snippy and said, "Well no, she's not dumb enough to take drugs while I'm watching!" Then she said, did the daughter give any kind of description of what kind of pills her mother took or what they looked like? I'm glad we weren't face to face because there was no way to hide the disgust on my face! I told her, "No, she's only 4, she just knows that they were pills."

So after I fumed for a few seconds, I called my mother who suggested that I call the state police. They said that sounded strange and gave me the number for the person who is second in command with CPS. So I called and left a message with her!

I find out last week that I'll probably never be able to have children and yet scum like these two women can pop them out like rats! Then to add insult to injury CPS basically accuses me of over reacting!!!!!! Really, letting my step son stay w/a woman like that is over reacting?!?!!?

I did tell DH that since he's not willing to fight in court to, just leave me out of it. Quit telling me all of BM's screw ups b/c then I stay awake at night worrying about them and he doesn't actually DO anything except yell at BM. I told him, I'm not the kind of person that can just sit back and quietly and watch abuse happen, so if he decides to tell me anything, be prepared to have me call CPS EVERY single time. (He doesn't like me to call CPS b/c it makes BM mad and more difficult to deal with.)

Comments

MSloan86's picture

Submitted by MSloan86 on Mon, 03/16/2009 - 11:38am

I can understand your frustration with CPS but I honestly think you should hold your DH accountable to take more action than a state run agency. If he isnt willing to act on his childrens behalf under these circumstances, it doesnt speak very well of him at all.

anita...sigh's picture

Submitted by anita...sigh on Mon, 03/16/2009 - 12:28pm

keep track of everything. Your best bet is to go to Court. Numerous calls to CPS starts to look vindictive (even if totally justified).

Unless Hubby gets with the program NOW, his precious child will be ruined and turn into another one of the self-entitled, bratty, rude kids that we all write about on here.

I think, for yourself, you are right. Don't have him tell you things anymore. I would feel exactly the same as you and it would drive me nuts.

I have a somewhat similar situation going on with my SD19. She is bipolar (I think she is FASD as well) and has a two year old. They moved in with us in December when her boyfriend was put in jail. I'm not seeing straight up physical abuse but the emotional abuse and neglect are harsh. I do what I can but this is not my child and I think the mother should be responsible or give the child up if she cannot handle it.

I cringe every day listening to her interactions with her child. The only thing I can say is that she is doing the best that she knows how. She is handicapped in more ways then one and personally I am shocked that CPS has let this go on.

If she moves out of here where we cannot monitor the situation, then CPS will have to be called before this wonderful little boy is destroyed.

Take a look into attachment disorders. This is where your four year old is heading with her mom.

Bury your head under a blanket, tell hubby it hurts you emotionally to know this is going on and if he isn't willing to go back to court about custody, then you cannot be involved and disengage.

I know you are thinking you can't disengage from a young child but the situation is out of your control. You need to insulate yourself for now.

I hope things work out the best for you. At her age, she still has a hope in hell if something is done now.

We all smile in the same language

LotusFlower's picture

Submitted by LotusFlower on Mon, 03/16/2009 - 1:53pm

This really doesn't speak well of your DH if he will allow his child to live in such a bad environment...He could petition the Court on an emergent order to gain custody of the child immediately...but that would require him taking some action....I think these men are just so used to these dysfunctional women that they are so used to the "just don't piss her off" way of dealing with her...but in yur case...these are serious issues with some criminal ramifications, if THAT won't get him to take action and get his kids out of there...then u have no other choice but to totally disengage...and that may mean complete disengagement for yur own sanity....Forget CPS...go in on an emergent custody application...but HE has to want to do it!

"Sooner or later, everyone's bill comes due"

newstepmom2008's picture

Submitted by newstepmom2008 on Tue, 03/17/2009 - 9:28am

I had it out with him on Sunday night! I told him that he is in the top ranks of the worst fathers I've known. I told him that if these were my biological children I would be on the phone with the police department, lawyers, judges, on roof tops screaming until someone gave me my children! I certainly wouldn't just wring my hands and say well there's nothing more I can do. I also told him that not fighting for them is just as abusive as what she's doing to them, b/c in effect, he's saying it's OK since he's not willing to fight to get them. I got a tongue lashing for that, but I kept lashing back.

southernshellgirl's picture

Submitted by southernshellgirl on Tue, 03/17/2009 - 9:38am

We've recently been in contact with CPS because of our BM's terrible behavoir too. My SD is 4 and confides in me often about things her BM does while SD is there. It's such crap that it does not get taken seriously by CPS when a child so obviously witnesses inappropriate acts.

I know the helpless feeling. You are trying to prevent your SS from becoming one of those poor little kids on the news for whom it is too late to save. But when you try to save them now, they tell you nothing can be done until the bad things have already happened.

My DH would gladly step back in court if only we knew we had concrete evidence. He was already chewed out by the judge for trying to keep SD from BM and all of her dangerous behavior. THe judge pretty much said it did not matter what BM does, until we can prove SD was with her, like maybe when she actually kills SD in a wreck for driving drunk, we cant do anything.

So sad.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I---
I took the one less traveled by,
and that made all the difference. -Robert Frost-