UGH!!!! RANTING AGAIN
I don't think hate describes how I fell in the slightest little bit towards BM. She literally makes me see red!!!
So we will bring it back a bit....When SO and BM first split up it was quite messy. She was cheating and she was caught. They right away went and got things settled so there were no issues around SS. Well to begin with SO was retarded and agreed to things that should have never been agreed to. Going back to court to settle things now is not really possible as we don't have the money for that sooo here's my rant!
SO will NEVER have SS on christmas morning!!! BM has him christmas eve and morning until around lunch and then SO gets him from lunch until boxing day. He will never get to experience getting up with his son early christmas morning to run and see what santa has left for him. Sure yeah he will be over later and still be happy to see presents from santa but it won't be the same type of experience for SO. He asked if she would consider alternating years, this year she could keep him that was fine but if he could have him next christmas eve until around lunch time just like she does. Her reply was that at some point myself and SO were going to have more children and she wasn't going to so if she didn't have him home christmas morning she didn't have anything! OK ummm yes SO and I do plan to have other children and that will be great to get up with them in the mornings as well but that is his son and he wants to be able to have that experience with him as well. It had nothing to do with us having kids or anything like that!!!! STUPID
Then she proceeds to say that if that was what he wanted in the first place he shouldn't have ever agreed to it. Well I told him the same thing too but everything happened so quickly after they first split that he was just agreeing because he was so overwhelmed. I can understand that, just now we are going to suffer because of it.
SS is as much apart of our family as our own children will some day be, so why not allow the alternating? That's all that's being asked, we are not asking to have him every single year just to be able to experience christmas morning with him too. UGH!!!! Hate this sooooooo much
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Comments
"What you can do is have an
"What you can do is have an early Christmas morning. Pretend it is Christmasa We have done this and it was pretty funny when BM had the real Christmas morning after our "Christmas" morning."
OMG, I never thought of that. Then again, DH and BM alternated Christmas and now SS is 17. Still, major league points for creativity on that one.
Christmas eve at 10pm is the
Christmas eve at 10pm is the exchange for SS's and that alternates yearly, so each gets Christmas morning every other year. When DH was filing for divorce his lawyer put exchange 10am Christmas morning, oh boy did my foot go down on that one! It isn't fair for one parent to get Christmas eve AND Christmas morning! However when we get them the first portion we always do Christmas a day or two early, let them wake up to the gifts under the tree etc. and that also gives them a few days to play with the toys before the go to her house for visitation. Nothing worse than letting a kid open a bunch of stuff then telling them they can't play with it for a week until they come back. SS's know Santa comes special for them early and that he will come again on Christmas morning for BD2 - I refuse to change my bios holidays to accommodate DH and BM's visitation schedule, we just make due, have two - whatever. Make it your own, do what you have to, let him experience it, December 25th is not what Christmas is, it is the feeling, the belief, give that to your SS and your DH even if it is on the 22nd or 19th or whenever.
We have even gone so far when they were really little to have Santa send them a letter to tell them he was coming early just for them and what day it would be on, they would get so excited!
This I dont understand:Going
This I dont understand:Going back to court to settle things now is not really possible as we don't have the money for that sooo here's my rant!
Most states have a standard visitation schedule, and if your DH pays child support to the state guidelines it is even better. YOU DH has the right to have his child alternating holidays more then likely accordning to your state, the fact that she dictates this to him is bullshit.
You dont need an attorney to file for this change, you need the fee to file the court docs. And a day off from work to attend. SO why is this "not really possible"?
^^^^^this
^^^^^this
They want to change an
They want to change an existing CO.
State guidelines are just that: guidelines.
They are used when setting and establishing a visitation schedule when all else is equal.
OP's BF has an agreement that he agreed to. He is now bound by that, and changing it will require showing that it is in the best interests of the child. He doesn't need an attorney for this; he can do it on his own. However, if BM hires an attorney, it would behoove him to do so as well.
Bm isn't dictating anything to OP's BF. The CO is.