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Needing to vent today

MotherTrucker's picture

I am tired of everyone accusing me of being the bad guy. BM says that I am a bad person now (even though just a few short months ago I was the best thing to happen to SD according to BM and she was sooooo happy that she and I could be friends :sick: ) Even though I have done nothing and nothing has changed other than HER personal life. Oh and I stopped agreeing with her on every subject. So, sorry BM, that I don't kiss your big fucking ass anymore!

DH automatically assumes that I am in some kind of bad mood everyday. Which in-turn puts me in a bad mood trying to drfend myself.

SD thinks I am a big fat meany because she has to put her clothes away and, God forbid, clean her room! Oh the humanity... I must me the worst person in the world (sarcasm).

Now my own DD's are crying for daddy when they are told to do something. I told my 22 month old that she needed to put her underwear on after going potty this morning and she started crying and calling for daddy like I was killing her! The worst part is that after going to daddy, he tells them the same thing that I do and they do it! All 3 of them are like that - a learned behavior I am afraid.

Is it wrong of me to feel like I do EVERYTHING for ALL of these people and since nobody is going to be the one to work 40+ hours a week, pick up and drop off kids from daycare, make dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, give bathes, take the garbage out, make the tea, do the grocery shopping, etc., I don't get to be the "fun" one. I don't get to relax and sit down for a minute like my DH asks because if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

Maybe I really am the person they think I am. Maybe I am a total bitch and the bad guy that everyone is afraid to piss off. If I am not that person yet, I will be soon. I am definantly living up to their standards.

I am pissed because since DH didn't want me to get a job in the first place, he feels that I should do all that I was doing as a SAHM and work full time with NO problems or complaints. I am pissed that when I married him, we had NO problems with SD, we had NO problems with his POS father, we had NO problems financially, we had NO problems with an F'in semi truck because he had a normal job, we had NO problems with ANYTHING! Duh, thats why I married him. I am a firm believer in love is not enough and it has been tested several times in the last year.

Wow, I actually feel a little better and just wanted to say THANKS.

Don't judge me for spilling my guts today. It is just how I feel at the moment not how I truely feel or what I know for sure in my heart, but I am having a REALLY bad week and need to rage a little.

Comments

RedWingsFan's picture

Awwwww I'm sorry honey. Glad to see you could vent a bit and feel better.

I agree with WishIKnew - do something nice for yourself. Even if it's just a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store or a cupcake and coffee. Something you enjoy and is just for you!

HUGS!

3familiesIn1's picture

Is it wrong of me to feel like I do EVERYTHING for ALL of these people and since nobody is going to be the one to work 40+ hours a week, pick up and drop off kids from daycare, make dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, give bathes, take the garbage out, make the tea, do the grocery shopping, etc., I don't get to be the "fun" one. I don't get to relax and sit down for a minute like my DH asks because if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

No, this means you are a wife and mother - at least that seems to be the common trend - I feel EXACTLY like that most days honey...

I get up at 6 to start breakfast. DH sleeps
I make 4 kids breakfast, only 2 are my own, then I proceed to make coffee, then 4 school lunches. DH sleeps
I check my emails (I work from home) and generally proceed to start work by 730am. DH wanders in and gets his coffee that I made.
BD13 hops the bus to school
SD13 screams at the door they are going to be late and DH drives her to school (school which BM moved her to so she can't bus)
DH leaves SS7 (aka hellchild) with me while he does this
DH comes back, yells at SS7 that he told him to get ready and he hasn't (too busy playing video games) and goes to shower... I am still working
I remind BD8 to catch the bus, she goes.
SS7 continues to play games. DH comes out of the shower and yells at him again.
SS7 puts clothing on and continues to play games.
DH yells at him they are going to be late and his backpack isn't ready and he hasn't put his lunch for school in it etc etc
I continue to work...
DH drives SS to school (school which BM moved him to so he can't bus) and rolls into work sometime after 9
I continue to work....
I break for lunch, assess what can be for dinner, clear breakfast mess if I have time.
I continue to work...
SD13 rolls in around 2:50 (she can bus home, and walk from her stop which is about 3/4 of a mile) and disrupts my afternoon making small talk and asking for a snack
I USED to pick up SS7 - finally got out of that - he now goes to daycare
BD13 rolls in around 3:15
BD8 rolls in around 3:30
I try to continue working...
I go to the grocery store and\or start dinner at 5pm...
DH picks up SS7 and rolls in after 630 to his meal and SS fighting about the fact he has to eat before he plays video games
We eat
DH complains the house is a mess....
DH yells at SS to do his homework, they fight because SS wants to play video games...
I clear the dinner table around SS and DH fighting with DH saying he will help as 'soon as he is done'
DH and SS fight for 60 mins about 2 pages of homework
I finish clearing the table
Its now past 8 usually so the bedtime fight between DH and SS starts
I go tell my girls its bedtime, they say ok brush their teeth and go to bed
I tuck them in, its now after 8:30
DH continues to fight with SS about various general things that should be common place
I go and sit, try to stay awake
SD comes down the stairs constantly until 930 needing this or that while DH yells its bedtime at her
DH sits around 9pm with me and says, you look tired, its only 9pm

rinse and repeat....

Some days I can't even squeeze in a bloody shower...

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

Nope, you are not wrong in feeling that way.....I heard on the radio a while ago, of a women going on strike...basically doing everything your doing now...she got criticized giving up on the family. Do you want to know who was doing the criticizing? Males. They really have no clue. And theres nothing wrong with letting the house go, for a day or picking up a pizza one night, at least for you and your daughter. Your DH is fully capable of making his own dinner.
If you werent working, I could understand a little, b ut since you are. Get him to fill in the blanks. Thats what I do. Perhaps, clean up after yourself only. They'll get the hint!

Shook's picture

Hope you're better now MotherTrucker! Think we all have those days once a week Smile

MotherTrucker's picture

Thanks everyone! I was feeling really overwhelmed but am better today!