BD brainwashing SD12
SD12 got caught again doing inappropiate stuff on her smart phone. After having it taken away several times, you would think she would have learned her lesson. Of course she lies straight to my face again and denies it, so she did get yelled at for telling me to get out her face and punished again.
So, to be fair like myself and my wife (BM) are, we let BD know the night it happens because he didn't like what she was doing before either. Anyway, he doesn't even call back because he has other things (playing pool, etc..) taking up his time, so the next day he calls, and she has her own converstaion in private with him, of course giving her side of the story, I expected her to come out her room from the phone upset because her dad should be upset at her again, however that wasnt' the case, he filled her head that if she doesn't like it by us she can live with him.
Now this is the girl I've had with me for 8 years and has been the best thing in my life until recently, she is willing to give up her entire relationship with me and her mother because BD tells her she can go there to live and it's her decision. So, now she in turn tries to use that power against us saying "my dad says if I get in trouble again I'm going go over there." Which she taking as get-out-of-jail free situation, so she basically acting like, I dont' need y'all anymore, daddy's goign to make it all better.
BD, is in an unfit situation. Just moved into a small home (after living with his mom for 3 years), has live-in girlfriend with her own daughter, and they jsut had another baby, he has two ex-wives he owes CS to, and hasn't held a steady job for over a year since forever. Not to mention, the live-in girlfriend who have to be the one watching them most of the time.
My wife (BM) is a stay at home mom, has full access to support the kids whenever they need it, etc... I have a very comfortable job and house that I've been providing, et's been a good life up to recently.
So, as far as I know, the court is not going to let a kid make a decision, for some reason people used to think at 12 they can just decide. But, that is my question, what right does he have to fill her head that she can jsut go live there and she inturn buys that and tries to defy us because she thinking going to live there now?
Does he have any chance win her? Of course she doesn't like the current situation, she just got punished again and has problems follwing rules. As bad as she's being, the last thing we want is her leaving, makes me sick that she just that willing to abandon the parent who've taken care of her forever, because she's not allow to do unsafe things on her phone just to get "likes".
This ^^^
This ^^^
No, TX does NOT allow a 12yo
No, TX does NOT allow a 12yo to choose. At 12 or older the child may file an Affidavit of Preference, but the judge is not bound by the child's wishes. In fact NO state allows a child to choose. GA used to, but has changed that several years ago.
However, OP also has no right to take this to court. He is not a party to the case. The only ones who can take it to court are Mom or Dad. OP is a legal stranger as far as the courts are concerned.
Thanks for all the comments,
Thanks for all the comments, and I agree once court is involved, it's between my wife ,our lawyer, and the court. I accept that I am a legal stranger. However, one side thing I never knew if this could happen or not, but, BD pays barely any CS for his two kids, I mean it's like a car note, and my wife has never taken him back to court because I tell her it's a loss cause because he has two other kids he's pay CS to, and hardley holds a job for long. But, I have a decent job, and basically cover all expenses. However, it's been tough lately meeting the bills. My question in this case is, lets say for some strange reason he gets custody of SD12. Can he come after my wife for CS and base it on my income, which basically would mean I would be paying some other guy out of my pocket for him to raise his own kids? Because it wouldn't put it pass him to ask the court for that, and wouldn't put it pass him for him being up to that telling SD12 she can come there. SD12 is always asking me finanial questons about how much I pay for stuff, etc...it's almost like she gather information for him. But, I still love my step daughter, and my wife does too, and we want to fix all of these disobidient problems she's having. But, I have to admit, that would be the worst fear in my life to have to pay another man my money for him to take care of his own kid. Because My wife is a stay at home mom with zero income. The way systems work these days, nothing would surprise me.
Yes, SD12 has it very well at
Yes, SD12 has it very well at home, that is why I don't understand her lack of appreciation for what she gets for me. My wife comes to me for her stuff and I give in so much. So SD doesn't see that her mom is helping and I am also. She convinced me to buty this Halloween outfit and had to rush deliver it, it was around $50 total, then when she gets it she doesn't want to wear parts of it because it was too scratchy, then some 7th grade school dance is coming up and she needs a dress, another $60-70 there. She comes home with a v-cut dress that requires big boobs to fill it in, and she's only 12, when I pointed this out to her, I'm suddenly insulting her by tellign her she cant wear that dress. I had to ask my wife how she allowed that, all my wife says is that's the one she picked, so I had to go with her to bring it back buy this other pretty dress she likes that didn't have a cut like that. Its just an example of the stuff I provide for her, at times I feel like I care more for her than BD and BM, because I always felt like SD was my own. This whole situation sucks to have someone so non-appreciative of everything done in the past because she got yelled at. Kids these day are unbelievable.
Ooooohhhh. What a thought. I
Ooooohhhh. What a thought. I think that you and your wife would have to pay CS to BD based upon your income if you transfer primary custody. Our CS is calculated on household income. Bet you a dime that BD has thought about that fact. Income-stream. :sick:
You sound like your situation would be so much better for your SD ...
Ricky, I think you hit the
Ricky, I think you hit the nail on the head. That is exactly what she did, went to daddy and told him all the stuff I did. At that point he could care less what she did to get in trouble, he saw that as an oppurtunity to win points.
BM did this to us and the day
BM did this to us and the day she turned 14 served us to live with BM. Courts here in GA give the kid to whoever the kid wants at 13. We stopped fighting it. Can't win a losing battle. It is PAS. Get to know it well...
Well, the dad doesn't sound
Well, the dad doesn't sound like he'll actually follow through with filing for custody (based on what you've noted already). And I think the fact that he is not able to pay support to his other kids would preclude him from gaining custody (did i read that correctly?).
I have a 13 year old daughter. She no longer owns her ipad because I have caught her doing inappropriate things. More than once. Girls are sneaky. If they are too quiet in their room, they need to be checked on and grab the phone for a spot check.
Well, SD is sneaky, she tells
Well, SD is sneaky, she tells us how the other ex is more ruthless, she calls police the second he's late on CS, we've let him slide a month or two before. Believe me he hit the jackpot when I met my wife, his kids are taken care of well, they have access to my education for help also, which they hardly use, his kids have a decent life than what they could have ended up with. But, at the same time, BD probably feels insecure and tries to find ways to win them back,at times he's threaten me to fight when he didnt' liek something, he 37 and I'm 43, I'm not in high school....he never left it seems. He helped his son come up with a lie after I caught him and his girlfriend planning to have sex at school. He wins points with his son, but set me and stepson back way off. He told me the truth, then after BD got involved, changed his story and lied straight to me....that's why he's not driving. He's almsot 17 but made a decision to go against what I was providing for him. I'm not paying insurance for a teenager when his dad wont put up a cent. If he SS was more respectful to me and appreciative he'd probably be driving right now. That's what so crazy, he could be driving right now, his biggest dream, but chooses to have attitude and disrespect. Both kids have had their head messed up by their BD, it really got in the way of two kids that could be on a decent path right now. But, BD won, he got them to respect him and not me, so where they end up now is no longer on me. I've tried very hard...like I said, I feel I care more than either Bio parent does.