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Picky eater?

morrginme's picture

SD16 asks if we can go to the store for donuts because there isn't any food here. DH says there is cereal and she says there isn't. We go to cupboard and there are three different kinds. She says she doesn't like any of those. DH says he will go to the store in a bit. I mention to him we also have oatmeal, pancake mix, and eggs. He says she's such a picky eater.  I told him if she gets hungry enough she will eat. Jeez.


fourbrats's picture

managed to raise four picky eaters. Which is strange to me because the rule while they were growing up was "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" and they ate everything! As they entered their teenage years they got picky. So now the rule is (for the two still at home) that they must shop for and prepare anything outside what I cook with a few exceptions. Their special food comes out of their allowance or any money they earn. They also have a small grocery budget included in our general grocery budget for the entire month as we all have things we like and want for snacks or lunch. 

The exceptions revolve around seafood and squash. I have two who just cannot stomach seafood and two who cannot stomach squash. Those are the allowable food issues. Otherwise they are on their own. Your SD is 16 so I wouldn't cater to her at all. I don't cater to the ones I birthed let alone anyone else. 

morrginme's picture

I don't cater to my own either. I like how you budget some of the food for them to choose. My one friend does that but with clothes. She buys her kids everything they need and some of what they want but if they want name brand clothes they have to buy it themselves.

fourbrats's picture

I set a budget and give the kids money. They can buy one pair of jeans or an entire wardrobe with that money but all I will add is a jacket, shoes, and undergarments. They get a smaller budget in Spring/Summer and I do buy things like a pair of pants throughout the year, but not much. So if my 17 year old (the one who always does this) only buys name brand or expensive things and gets one new outfit it is on her. My 15 year old can take the same amount and buy 12 outfits. 

I am big on personal responsibility. We still have fun and I buy things for dances and such but they have to budget their allowance, groceries, and clothing budgets. For example, middle DD was given her allowance this morning and it is gone (the 17 year old). Oh well kid, I hope your boyfriend has budgeted for the movies and things for the next two weeks because the mommy ATM is closed. 

susanm's picture

A special run to the store for donuts which are nothing but empty calories of sugar and fat rather than eating the healthy food that is already in the house?  Not a chance.  That is not picky eating.  That is just bad eating habits.  I don't care that teens can burn it off.  Many simply don't and diabetes and obesity are on the rise even as young as elementary school.  The occasional donut is fine but not as a meal instead of nutritious food.  

Chmmy's picture

My DH calls the kids picky eaters. I say they would rather have McD or KFC so they dont eat what has been prepared. This I only eat crap thing is affecting their health. God only knows what is in the food they eat

SS10 had stomach pains so bad a couple nights ago he was crying. Im done cooking for the family and I avoid the skids coming to family parties only to be embarrassed when the host starts scrounging for something that the skids will eat.

My brother is coming to town soon and I manipulated the every other weekend schedule so the skids would be gone!!! It appears that living with manipulative people is rubbing off

hereiam's picture

That's not being "picky", that's just bad eating habits and coddling by the parent. If one wants to get technical, pancakes and donuts are about the same: flour, egg, sugar. So, she could have eaten a pancake. But no, Daddy will run to get her donuts. THAT'S what she really wants, Daddy to run for her.

STaround's picture

She has healthy food to eat, he is not doing any favors by getting her junk

thinkthrice's picture

when skids were here and refused to eat anything that WASN'T in a brightly coloured box from a drive thru or frozen with a kabillion of added chemicals and artificial everything. 

YSS would often not eat his breakfast and beg daaaaadddeeeeee to run him up to Dunkin for donuts and choco milk (((shudder))).  And of course Chef would do it.  I, on the other hand insisted the brat eat his oatmeal.  When he refused and later, when in the car during errands first asked to go to Battleaxe's (NO) then when he saw the sign for McDonald's all of a sudden became "hungry."  His excuse for not eating his oatmeal was it was "too hot" which was BS.   By the end of the day he was,  for the first time in six years,  acting like a normal kid; eating his sandwich for lunch and playing independently. 

Of course all that went out the window as soon as Chef walked in the door.   It was before I had disengaged....the first and last time I was asked to watch YSS.

He ended up permanently PASing out over a home cooked meal.

thinkthrice's picture

After the older two skids conspired with the Girhippo to put in a fake CPS report against us and at the time the Girhippo was actually a CPS worker herself, we had to go into full-on protection mode namely banning any fun things like ATVs that could cause injury and cause the Girhippo to continue CPS reports and possibly sue me.

The older two promptly PASed out shortly after the fake CPS report and the Girhippo marrying step daddy big-bucks.

After which only YSS was coming to visitations which I told Chef was a bad idea and that he should fight for his rights.  YSS stb 7,  then became a prince in his own right demanding everything including all meals to be fast food.  Chef did not learn his lesson and the Disney dad ramped-up to amazing proportions.   However the one thing he was not willing to compromise on was homemade meals we could ill afford to go out and eat every night the way the prince wanted it.

September 12th 2009... dinner time approached I had made a kid friendly meatloaf which had only salt and pepper in it basically a hamburger.  Yss did eat hamburgers because he had often wolfed down a Happy Meal.  The meatloaf was Broil on top nicely Brown all over with no extra sauces or seasonings.  YSS then went into his baby talk routine and demanded "Mick and Donals" as he used to say.

Chef said he must at least taste the meatloaf and that he could have a sandwich  if he tasted the meatloaf.  He put it in his mouth and started spitting it out all over the table making a complete mess.  He then demanded to go home.  Chef said I will take you home and come back when you have some better manners.

That was it.   We found out later that YSS went back and told the Girhippo that we were punishing him because he was "eating too slowly."  Which was absolute bullshit.  This was a kid that literally crammed food down without chewing and practically choked himself every single time.  We never received one call from the Girhippo asking what happened--she swallowed (pun intended) everything YSS said Hook Line & Sinker.  At that point we received calls from YSS and the Gir saying he did not want to come to visitation.

Radio silence.  Oh we did receive a few contrived and heavily scripted by the Girhippo "Christian Based" greeting cards mainly from OSS saying that he "forgave Chef" (for trying to be his parent.)

 Chef was not about to punish or send YSS to his room when he refused to eat his dinner because the last time he did that CPS was called in which the Girhippo, using her weight as a CPS worker herself, got it run up the flagpole and sent straight to the New York State child abuse and maltreatment registry.    It took me almost a year to get it overturned as unfounded and boy was she angry when it got overturned.

Step-girlfriend's picture

Omg, had the same exact situation here, several times. I came downstairs in the morning and saw SD9 was eating Coco puffs. I asked where they came from and SO said “SD wanted them so we went to the store”. Seriously?? I then showed him where we had 3 other boxes of cereal, oatmeal that she liked, toast, eggs, English muffins, breakfast bars....”well she wanted Coco puffs, so I got her Coco puffs. I don’t think she likes that other cereal”. Yes, she does, because when i was making Rice Krispie treats she asked if she could have a bowl of it because she loves them. I snapped and said it’s ridiculous that we have tons of cereal that isn’t as sugary that is now going to go to waste because SD will eat the sugary crap he just bought Instead. He’s done it again since, even though after that I bought chocolate Frosted mini wheats as a compromise (it’s better than coco puffs). She never even opened it to try it, he just took her to get more Coco puffs. She will eat 3 bowls in a morning. I’ve had to disengage from that because if he doesn’t care about how much crap she eats, then I don’t either. Mostly the coddling and catering to her is what bothers me the most, but also wasting food just so SD can have the kind of cereal she wants.

Cover1W's picture

One of my first disengaged items was food. Before I even moved in with DH I told him I would not cook separate meals, and everyone must participate in meal making or clean up. 

Then I disengaged within months from assisting with older SD's school lunch issues.

Then I stopped buying special foods when we provided good food and kid friendly snacks that no skid would eat. 

SD15 has bigger food issues than just being picky but SD12 is pretty normal, with wierd exceptions around lunches and snacks which DH knows I don't cater to.