Father's Day - VENT
I'm having a hard time picking out a card considering that they ALL talk about what a "Great" husband and father the recipient is, and my H hasn't exactly been what I would call "great" in either department lately.
Also sucked up my own discomfort (as usual) and suggested that H might want to trade weekends with BM this weekend so he can spend Father's Day with all of his children, including SD. Well, last week was H's weekend, and of course BM is always up for getting rid of her kid, so instead of a trade it turned into 2 weekends in a row now because H went ahead and picked up SD for the weekend last weekend anyway. Ok, whatever, I can deal with it. Well, yesterday SD mentions that she's singing in the choir in church on Father's Day. So now this means that not only am I stuck feeling like a guest in my own home with SD there for two weekends in a row, but that the WHOLE POINT of me suffering threw having her for two weekends in a row goes down the drain because we will now have to get up early in the morning to take her to church and get the "pleasure" of sitting in her church that she attends with BM (when BM decides to go) for what will probably be about 3 hours, and then, as is always the case when SD has an event that we attend, the rest of the day will not doubt be all about SD instead of H and I will get the pleasure of paying for it all as a Father's Day treat to H because we will be in SD's home state instead of ours after church is over so whatever we do will have to be done there because we would have to take her home afterward.
So I guess I get to spend Father's Day with another fake smile at another one of SD's events. UGH!
Meanwhile, I have NOT ONCE been able to convince H to come to the church that I used to attend before we got married, and I actually enjoyed attending my church. 
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Comments
I hope you are still
I hope you are still attending your church even though, he is chosing not to go? Its fathers day.... his choice, however you can have them attend church with you when you have her on your weekends.
A day of faith no matter where celebrated is a good day in my eyes!
But tell Daddy dearest its his treat!
I took my 2 boys and left H &
I took my 2 boys and left H & SD at the house and went back to my church for the 1st time in a long time this weekend and it felt good! Just what I needed!
Meanwhile, H did NOT take SD to her church.
You must not have read any of
You must not have read any of my previous blogs. H is welcome to spend as much "extra" time with SD as he wants, just don't expect me to tag along & pick up BM's parenting slack or H's for that matter. I have 2 children of my own to raise. I'd prefer to leave SD's parenting to her parents. The job was already half done without my help - I'd just like it to stay that way.
*DELETE* mommylove doesn't
*DELETE*
mommylove doesn't seem to like it if you're on her side or not.... i was on her side most of the time and still received nastiness in return, i'm thinking she's a troll..... or maybe she's just someone who likes to bitch at everyone or she's not happy!
i will refrain on posting on anymore of your blogs, mommylove.
good luck on finding happiness in your miserable life...
I'm not sure what you're
I'm not sure what you're referring to about being on "my side", but I guess it doesn't really matter. I'm actually NOT looking for people to be on "my side". All I wanted to do was vent & maybe ocassionally seek some advice. People are welcome to comment whether they agree with me or not, but all I've ever objected to is people responding in all CAPS, using exclamation points & profanity & calling people names or being negative, critical & judgmental when they are clearly not in a position to judge or they wouldn't be here.
Excuse me if I am the only person who was raised to live by the old addage "if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all", & while I don't expect all feedback to be "nice", I don't think it's unreasonable to expect to get back the same respect that I give. I have read posts that I didn't agree with, some I even found somewhat offensive, but I don't deem it my job to police this site or the Internet, so I keep my comments to myself. I have never posted anything negative or critical to anyone's blogs - if i didn't agree I moved on and only commented where I thought I might be able to relate because I realized that probably most people here are like me- looking for some support and USEFUL advice, even if that includes a little "tough love", but u don't think anybody is asking for or deserving of hateful, foul-mouthed venom, even when it is in response to a direct attack on their character.
JMO...
If you can't find a father's
If you can't find a father's day card because he's not a good dad, I'd be reconsidering if you want to have kids with him...
As far as Father's Day, I know that in most standard agreements Father's day is to be spent w/the father which means he does end up w/3 weekends in a row.
I cannot say that I fully enjoyed weekends w/his daughter, but I can say that I never asked him to mías visitation or trade unless we had a vacation/tríp or an important event w/no kids allowed...
You misread. Not a "great"
You misread. Not a "great" dad but I didn't say "bad". Problem is, most of the cards are overboard. They describe a "super dad" I don't personally know, & I'm really not a good liar. I usually go for the humorous cards, but the supply on those was pretty short when I looked yesterday. I'll keep looking elsewhere...
Found the PERFECT card!
Found the PERFECT card! Simple, humorous, no "super daddy" crap. Exactly what I was looking for!
Oh, & the deeds already done
Oh, & the deeds already done - we already have a child together. And H shouldn't miss any visits with SD on my account (I wouldn't) - he's welcome to go see her as much as he wants - just leave me out of it.
"As far as Father's Day, I
"As far as Father's Day, I know that in most standard agreements Father's day is to be spent w/the father which means he does end up w/3 weekends in a row.
I cannot say that I fully enjoyed weekends w/his daughter, but I can say that I never asked him to mías visitation or trade unless we had a vacation/tríp or an important event w/no kids allowed..."
The trade was FOR H, as this weekend would've been BM's weekend the way the schedule was going so far. It also appears to me like you might be looking at this a bit one-sided. Your statement ASSUMES that BM does NOT WANT any weekend time with her child for 3 weeks straight. I get that an NCP father would want to see his child as much as possible, but if the BM works then she really doesn't get much time with her children during the week that isn't consumed with "motherly duties" so she may actually WANT to spend time with her child on the weekend.
I personally would NOT be okay with going 3 weeks straight without a weekend with my boys. This is why "trading" weekends is a pretty common practice because it includes the courtesy of allowing BOTH parents to have weekend time with their children. Now if BM doesn't want it (and in SD's case BM could care less about spending time with SD) then so be it, but frankly I would be offended if my H just ASSUMED that I was willing to lose 3 weekends in a row with my boys just so he could get Father's Day AND keep the "schedule". I can understand that a father would probably want to spend Father's Day weekend with his children, but he'd better be willing to "trade" in my opinion, or he'd just get Father's DAY (no overnight) just as you mentioned many parenting time share plans call for. (No parenting plan in SD's case though, H just does whatever BM wants.)