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A New Schedule = A New Way of Life....hopefully.

mommawowa's picture

So, I've posted before about how the custody arrangement is so wack-a-doo. It's 50/50, but it's never the same days. And of course DH hates talking to Darth Vader, so he waits until the last possible minute to know. Last week, he was gone from Monday night until Thursday communication whatsoever with Darth Vader. Until Thursday "are you picking SS9 up from horse camp Friday afternoon?". I mean, seriously! How are we supposed to make any plans for OUR life? DH is just as much to blame though.

Anyway, I sat down last month with a blank calendar, asked DH which day he would prefer to be the "flip" day (it had somewhat been Sunday, since we attend church on Vader's side of town...just made it easy) but he said he preferred Monday. So I had it all set up, a mock calendar for June, giving each parent a whole weekend (Fri, Sat., Sun.) and then the other parent got Monday, then back to DH for Tues., Wed., Thurs., then Vader would get the next Fri., Sat., Sun.. It looked great on paper; each parent would get a whole weekend, and the other other parent would still get 3 days in a row. Just one time period of "back-and-forth" between Monday and Tuesday. No long stretches of going without seeing the child, and this way, you have something special coming up? PLAN IT ON YOUR DAYS. No more, all of a sudden, we want to go and do this....well, wait and plan it for your days. (I mean I know there will be some's not like we're inflexible and such, but hopefully having this will avoid a lot of that).

So I said, now to really make it work, you need to try and implement this with Vader at the beginning of the month. We're halfway through and now he wants to. So I had to go jerry-rig it up, and it'll give her two weeks in a row of having 4 nights, BUT we will get Father's Day weekend and DH's birthday weekend.

I'm hoping she goes for this. I'm hoping if she goes for it, she sticks to the schedule and doesn't try to change things around.

I'm also hoping DH doesn't get totally confused trying to explain it to her (I texted him a picture of the mock-up calendar, and suggested he copy it down in his own if he needed to, he could text her a picture...and that way it is in HIS handwriting, and not mine).

and then there's the deal with holidays.

oy vey. the complicated-ness just never ends!


mommawowa's picture

it says "mom will have child on her non-working days plus 2 other days" THAT'S IT. and for holidays, one parent gets thanksgiving, the other gets Christmas...but there is no definition of the other days surrounding those two holidays.


this has never been followed. when the divorce was final....we were having SS9 for 10-14 days at a time, regularly!