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Tail Spin/ Help Appreciated

mndblwn's picture

I have hit rock bottom with the BM situation. If it isn't one thing, it certainly is another. BM has become so crazy that it's coming to the point of non stop nonsense. The latest kick is that she can't have personal phone numbers to the people that SS has play dates and sleep overs with. These parents don't want her to have their numbers. She causes way too much drama and inappropriate situations like pulling her "i'm an attorney and have a court order" crap to anyone involved with SS. SS just recently had an outbreak of MRSA. Gross. BM has had many infections over the years. One just last mothers day that she told us about. It was too painful for her to drive and see SS but she expects SS to drive 8 hrs over the weekend when his sore is on his butt. She never asked how he was or what was the treatment. just wanted to know when her time could be made up. Fought us about the traveling even when we had a doctors note that said specifically not to travel. DH and I have a toddler at home. It's a scary thought that MRSA is now in our area and that SS ca have outbreaks for the rest of his life. BM couldn't even give him the anitbiotics correctly. Only gave him half of what she was supposed to during the folling weekend. Not she has moved into a new apartment. Won't give DH the address. Plays the game that she doesn't get the phone numbers to play date parents so he doesn't get address to wher SS is living. Also claiming that I hage violent confrontations with her and stack her. She is scared I will stack her. This woman is of no importance to me and I have never came close to stacking her or having a violent confrontation with her.

We have spent close to $30,000 on attorney fees and court costs to get court orders set in place. What is the point when she thinks she can lie and twist things to get her way and make demands against us? We have primary custody and she has visitation. What do we need to do to have grounds to fight against her? When it comes to medical bills each parent has 10 days to refuse payment. She has refused payment 17 days after she gets the receipt. Still hasn't paid it. Why can she break the rules but if we do something she doesn't like then its back to court we go?

SS has a heart condition. Can't play contact sports. He can play baseball but she won't let him do that. Wouldn't you want you child to have as many opportunities as possible? She likes to DH about the hours she works so that she doesn't have to give time back for first right of refusal. It's better in her eyes that SS goes to child care instead of staying home with DH and sister.

What gives? Do we lay like dead horses and have her walk all over us or do we press the nuclear war button and say enough is enough?


misSTEP's picture

You submit a Show Cause to the court every single time she goes against the CO and ask that your attorney's fees be paid by her as well.

cfmommyof3's picture

I agree completely with misstep. Especially where you guys have primary custody. You have so much more ground then some of us do to do what is best for the child. You can also keep a running log book of incidents and file an enforcement order with the court (sounds like with her you may want to do it once a month or so if she continues to not follow the current order). If my FHD had listened to me in the very beginning instead of "trying to be the bigger person" all the time (which with certain people only gets you so far if it gets you anywhere) my SD would be so much better off now. Do what you need to do for that child. It sounds like in your home whats best for the child is top priority. If it isn't in her home push it in court. Good luck to your family!