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Can she take us to court?

missangie1978's picture

It seems that BM is now threatening to take us to court because we won't supply her with the following documents for SS...

Social Security Card
Parenting Plan
Birth Certificate
Short Records
Drs Records

We told her that she can go get all these things herself... SS has been living with us for the past 2 years and I have no idea why she wants the stuff but DH is done being her secretary and I'm fed up. She's going on and on about how she can't get it herself because she works full-time and if we don't give her the documents than she's going to take us to court.

Can she actually take us to court?

Comments

Chel Bell's picture

she could only take you to court for these things if SS were to move in w/ her and you needed to furnish these records to give to her as she would now need them for proof of custody, enrollment in school, etc. I may be wrong....but that does not sound right. She can go get them, full time job or not. Why would she "all of a sudden" need all this ?"~waiting on the world to change~"

Georgie Girl's picture

would be a copy of a parenting plan, if dh and bm had to provide one to the court, but she should have that. All of the other items are things that she can get on her own with exception of the ss card. If you have it I would just make a copy.

My first concern would not be about the items themselves but why she wants these items? Is she trying to claim ss on her taxes or something?

I wouldn't worry so much about the court thing.

melis070179's picture

If you have custody then you should have his ss card, not her. You have a right to have it, not her so she can't do anything about it. You can give her the ss#, but you should keep the card. Everything else she can get her own copies of...the court will not care that she doesn't feel she has time to get them, you are not her secretary!

Dawn-Moderator's picture

We never thought of that. My Dh has custody but Bm kept ss's ss card from when she had custody. We have to fill out all kinds of things and Dh just has it written down on a scrap of paper.

I'm going to bring that up to Dh.

Dawn

The Principlist's picture

Can someone explain to me why can she take you to court for something so trivial? As the NCP she has no need for child's SS card. I can't think of any reason why she would need it in the first place. If she does not have custody then she does not claim the child on taxes so I fail to see why that piece of information would be necessary. Especially with identity theft and fraud and people using kids information when they have screwed up their own.

I also fail to see why should she need the shot records. Outside of making sure that the kid is up to date on his immunization, that information is only used when you are registering the child for school and again, if she is NCP this is a non-issue.

The parenting plan and the Drs records are valid requests and should be complied with unless you have on file that the Dr. is allowed to share information with BM. Because of the HIPPA laws, unless you grant that permission, she has no way of getting the information herself.

Lastly, as far as the birth certificate, isn't she the idiot that birthed the child? Shouldn't she ALREADY have a copy of the BC in her records? I just thought that was par for the course for mothers that you normally get a copy of the birth record. If she does not have it, she can contact the office of vital statistics on her own and get the information, just as I'm sure DH had to do.

The whold threat of taking you to court to get these records is assinine to me, because the time and money that it would take her to fill out the paper work, wait for a court date, miss time from work to attend the court appearance, and what ever else it entails is surely going to require more of her time than going down to the freaking vital statistics office, providing the necessary information that she is entitled to have access to the information and getting it herself. Geesh how stupid and lazy can one person be.

Step Mother's Motto this week is:

You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.

missangie1978's picture

We've already given her a copy of the parenting plan, twice but she lost it again so we told her to go to the court house and get it. Dr records I don't know why she needs since she only sees him every other weekend and all dr appointments we deal with.

She's also saying she lost the birth certificate and wants us to get her a copy - what the heck?

Social Securtiy card I'm a bit worried of giving her the number as she's shaddy and last time she had the number she let her father use SS's social securtiy number to claim on his taxes. We had to go to court about that.

I think the reason she wants ss's school records and hospital records is I've been told what you can use to get your child a new social security card - makes me wonder what she's up to

The Principlist's picture

Well that tidbit, changes things. She already had the information and misplaced, lost, burned or whatever excuse she has, it. Tough tittie. (No offense anyone). It is not your responsibility to be her personal assistant because she lacks the organizational skills to keep up with important paperwork.

Step Mother's Motto this week is:

You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.

Sia's picture

ignore her. It's kinda like a bee flying around you just buzzin.......and buzzin....but cant really do anything!

now4teens's picture

"I'm calling my lawyer"
"I'm gonna sue you"
"I'm going to take you to court"

Sometimes, when these people have nothing else in their lives, that's the ONLY thing they feel will get someone's attention. And THAT's what it all boils down to- ATTENTION.

They want you to pay attention to them. Because they're bored. Because they're lonely. Because they're pathetic. Or because they're not getting what they want. Like a little kid...

"I'm gonna hold my breath!"

My advice...ignore her. Let her hold her breath until she passes the hell out! Wink

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

Where2Begin's picture

if BM has joint legal custody, even though it may be non-custodial phyical custody, then she has a right to have access to doctors' records, shot records, copy of a birth certificate, school records and such. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to be the one to personally provide her with copies of all this unless it specifically states that you must in the court orders. She should be able to go to the appropriate offices and obtain these herself. She can produce a certified copy of her divorce decree/custody agreement if they give her any issues. Now she could take you to court if you refused to give her the name of the doctor(s) the child has been treated by for example.

smurfy1smile's picture

In MN, all the NCP needs to get school and medical records is a copy of the court order. This info is attached to every divorce, child custody decree and child support order. Under Parental rigths from Minnesota Statues...unless otherwise provided but the court... Don't be her secretary. My BD16's father demanded his records so I got them for him and included a copy of the part of the order stating what he should do to get them himself. I never heard a word about it again. BM could need the ss# for health insurance or to add him to her life insurance but there is no need to be secretive about that stuff. Just ask. I would ignore her requests. These days most people work and they find time to take care of stuff like this plus lots more.