BM won't sign the finally custody paperwork!
I can never tell what's going on inside of her head...she signed the temporary custody paperwork before moving out of the state so that their son could stay in the state and live with his father (my fiancée) but now that she needs to sign the finally paperwork she won't do it! It's the exact same paperwork she signed before she left but for some reason she now wants it to say she gets him once ever month! What the hell is she thinking, he's 8 years old to get on a plane every month to visit her is impossible, he'd miss school and he already missed over 2 weeks when she had him from Sept to November and he's behind in reading and never did homework when he was living with her. He's finally getting a consistent schedule and catching up in school and she wants to ruin all that.
When my fiancée said that the lawyer will not change that because no judge would sign off she hit the roof. She said than I won't sign it and talked about how she's planning on moving back in June anyway and that she was going to get back primary custody and so on. She does this every time he says no to one of her requests…such as getting the other kids medical and school records and overnight them to her…excuse me he's not their father he can't and won't do that.
I know she'll be at default once the 90 day mark is reached and she doesn't sign or contest it (March 12th is 90 days) but I'm worried she'll actually try to get custody, I know she's got a horrible record but if we get a judge who believes in the mother is the best theory than we're screwed.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? If so what didn't you do and how did it turn out?
I know she's doing this because she hates me but why would anyone want to hurt their own child or deny them of a parent to get at someone else?
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well her getting custody back
depends on the issues that they are living with you in the first place, however most judges do not like to move children back and forth because that is not stability and stability is what is best for the children. If you do get a final judgement - like we have that is better for her not getting custody back- our attorney told my dh the chances are slim and none after a final judgement has been ordered that the primary residential custodial parent will change unless 1. she can prove you unfit and not the best living environment for a child or 2. they are old enough (meaning usually 12 or 13 in most states) and the households are equally good and the child decides to live with her. I hope this helps you- we get threats from bm all the time about trying to get custody back. We know she cant and you should feel comfortable with that after you have the final judgement by default or whatever way you get it. the best thing to say to her when she threatens you is "well i don't think its best that we discuss that, if you could please contact my attorney or have your attorney do so, - we have found out bm does not like this response but it has worked very well in shutting her up because she has no attorney
Well...
Honestly, I don't really have much to say, but I did have a thought.
If she so wants this child to visit once every month, have it stipulated that SHE PAYS for the fair both ways- making it her responsibility to pay for it, arrange for it on school holidays or during weekends, so that way your SS isn't going to be missing that much in school. I'd also make sure that it's very clear and detailed what form of transportation is acceptable, so that way you are limiting it to 'the quickest form of transportation' and 'lessening the travel time' in benefit for both her and SS.
Maybe that will help because financially, it really would be quite an undertaking to do for her to expect to fly out SS every month. I also don't think that a judge would agree to it either, but it's possible, at least that way, it appears that you are trying to work with her? Plus, if you give her a solution that sounds like it benefits her, she may not realize that in reality, she's getting very little, if you catch my drift.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
Tried explaining
that because of holidays and school breaks she gets him every month except 2, maybe 3 but no go. She's just being stubborn about it. The lawyer has already stated hey can't change it because they can't have him going every month especially if it is just for a weekend because he's only 8 years old and it's a long flight. He'd go down on a Friday and have to fly up again on Sunday - what's she thinking?