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Am I a horrible person?

missangie1978's picture

My SS is visiting his mom for the week and I love it. I love not having to talk over him, having a clean house, not having a 9 year whinning all the time or running his mouth (he's a real smart ass and has to have the last word in).

I also love the fact that my DH is so much more affectionate and loving when SS is gone. Sometimes I wish BM would just take SS back full-time. I hate the responsibility and I feel like all the crap from having SS full-time is killing my marriage.

Truth is I feed up with having to take care of SS and taking on all of BM's responsibility when it comes to SS. I'm also tired of paying for everything since BM won't pay her court ordered child support.

I feel horrible that I feel this way but I do, honestly I hate having SS around full-time. He's got his mom's mouth on him and is always mouthing off or thinks he knows it all and he sulks when he doesn't get his way and he never does anything for himself even when told to.

Is it horrible that I regret giving my DH the money for the lawyer in order to get SS full-time?

Comments

Colorado Girl's picture

for loving the alone time with your husband. I loved this last weekend when my husband and I were kid free. But I saw the positive that we got alone time not the negative that I didn't want the kids there.

Your son sounds just like my BS10. Typical behavior of that age. He drives me crazy for what it's worth. I am always on his case about something and believe me, I guarantee that your SS ain't got nothin' on my little smart ass.

I'm not sure if you're looking for validation, but I would be heart broken if my husband decided he didn't want my son around "full time" and regretted marrying me because he didn't realize what a pain he was. He's part of my "package" - good and bad.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Conflicted's picture

because if you're horrible then I am too.

I would rather spend time with DH and my own kids, I'm sure that sounds really mean but its the truth. My skids have so many issues, they are just really screwed up (thanks BM!) and its draining.

Don't get me wrong, I love my skids very much and if they could live with us full-time I'd jump all over it! But the fact is that they live with BM full-time and it shows and I don't like to deal with it.

missangie1978's picture

I know that SS is better off with us. He's doing well in school and when he was with BM he missed over 50% of school and was failing 2nd grade. He's also not an angry kid like he was when living with BM.

However it's just hard for me to deal with him and times and DH just gets defensive if I say anything critical of SS and DH is just so distant when SS is with us.

I know that this is horrible but I feel like if we didn't have SS full-time and BM on us all the time that I wouldn't have been so stress that I lost the baby. I know it's not SS's fault but it's hard right now to even look at him without thinking about the baby I lost. DH just doesn't seem to understand

Angel's picture

check this out! I know what I can emotionally & physically handle. I told my husband before we married that under NO circumstances I want any kids living here. EOW I can handle for a while, but NO LIVING HERE UNDER ANYYYYYY CIRCUMSTANCES.
He knew it coming in. That's my story & I'm sticking to it. I am tired.
His oldest asked three times if he could live here. My husband told him NO three times. I didn't have to say anything.