For The Love Of God...WHY???
Dont get me wrong , I luv my DH very much.....but today I feel he provoked a new war w/ ex. Recently her husband & I , have written all e-mail corrospondence about the kids & visitation plans, he writes them now because in the past, she cant control her temper enough to communicate, her husband is no expert, but does a better job, and it keeps her out of trouble. I write back to him because I can keep my cool (unless under personal attack) and it keeps everything buisness like. It was to be a New Year resolution......Well, their is now a problem, the last 2 e-mails sent by them, although not rude, have been kind of "dictating" in nature. I have been willing to let it go for the sake of sanity, and would rather pick my battles, so to speak. Well , my DH got fed up today, he is tired of being TOLD what to do, is tired of them using the kids to make visitation plans, they are 14,&13, they sometimes want to ask them what they think about any changes to the schedule, before giving us an answer, stuff like that. I see it as a silly way that they use to try to "control" what little they have left. My DH wrote the e-mail today, in RE: to plans about the kids, and it was not, IMO, the best response....was pretty snappy, & I know it will start a "drama-episode". It always has in the past, and it can be HELL . Sometimes I feel they are trying to make us snap, just to get something going.....so I was doing the opposite. I tried to tell him not to send it, and we disscussed what could happen, but he was pretty upset so it was no use. He even said that if it starts a war, he does not care, he will fight all over again. Soooo of course when this happens, I will have to put up w/ the "fall-out". My DH wonders why his "ex will not leave him alone" & "stay out of his life", "move on", and things like that, but then he does this today. I understand he does not want to bend over for them, and do everything they want, how they want, but I dont feel we are. And IMO, its just not worth fighting over, maybe its just me, but save it for the "big stuff" right?? This also dredges up ALOT of past anger for my DH, and some of the things she did to him in the past were pathetic, but, if I have to hear these stories again,.... I WILL ABSOLUTLY LOSE IT!!!! I love my DH, and he is a dream come true for me in all other aspects, but this, I am afraid will hurt us, and I just cant take anymore. I have an ex too, and I would never let him "own" me like this....or disrupt my family. HELP.