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She's no better than a thief....

meshel's picture

Has this ever happened to anyone?;My DH ex is trying to get whatever $$ she can out of us. We got custody of SS in July,and she was mad because that stopped CS payments.../.we were overpaying her anyways, and some of the surplus was put towards past due support,we had past due support owed because we were seeking modification , now we only have a small amount that is past due, and we have $69.00 taken out of DH paychecks to pay it off....this really pissed her off,She wanted alot more, it is a court order and we thought everything was all set. At the end of October, right after I gave birth to my son, we get a letter from the IRS saying they are withholding our 2005 tax return(we filed late, ) because of child support..... this letter was sent in october, but our court order for CS, and custody was in july....and they want to take all the $$ and give it to her...including MY HALF. WTF??? The IRS is holding the $$ right now & they are supposed to send her a check this May, and we just did our taxes for this past year, and want to get this straightened out, and get back all of what we are supposed to get. I did not think the IRS could take our return when their is already payments for CS being made.The ex must have called them, (she called everyone els and tried to put red flags up everywhere) and made DH look like a deadbeat, and said she was not getting any support. She calls him that all the time and I know it kills her not to get the $$ she is used to getting,(and spending on herself) and when this past due support is paid off, she will not be getting any $$ from us. This is very upsetting because we have already overpayed in the past , & now we have SS& baby to support, and she is trying to take that away. And I dont see why my half of this tax return $$ should go in her pocket.I was hoping the $$ issues were over, and we could just move on, noe I see I need to call my lawyer AGAIN because of this .Has anyone els gone through something like this??

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Can you file separately this year? That way you still get your half at least. I know it really is unfair that they would do this with your tax return. I guess the only way to spin it in a positive way would be that at least this helps you get it paid off sooner. And the sooner the better so you don't have to listen to her BS anymore.

Candice's picture

Well, I personally haven't experienced this. What I can tell you about tax returns is that when you file "joint" both the return money and owed money is "joint". It doesn't matter what you contributed in taxes and are owed...the irs looks at it as "joint" money. Yes, the irs can withhold your "joint" tax return to pay owed cs, but if she is overpaid, she will owe you. If you paid all taxes on your income, but your spouse owes the irs, and you sign a "joint" return, the irs can come after you for your spouses back taxes.

Does FL have a state registry to monitor cs payments? If so, be sure to let them know, and keep all documents from the irs to show that your money went to her. You will eventually get money, but it might costs a few hours in attorney's fees to get it. It sucks, and I'm sorry.

The other frustrating part about the irs is that if you would have decided to file married but separate, you lose your child tax exemptions. I would love to file married but separate, but I won't reap the benefits of claiming my son on my taxes, or daycare expenses! They stick you every which way they can! We need another irs reform!

I'm sorry I don't have any info to help you feel better. I do believe you will eventually get your money if she is overpaid, and maybe if you have to take her to court over it, you can hold her in contempt, and then she will have to pay attorney's fees. Let's see if that will work.

Sorry she is so money hungry! We all just want to survive, and not have to support ex's that are parasitic.

Wish I had better words for you,
Candice

Nymh's picture

I know exactly how you feel having a BM who is a parasite and constantly calls your DH a deadbeat while he's busting his butt paying more than he should be anyway. We're paying all of our CS and even overage to pay for arrears that she sued us for, yet she still went through the state board of child support enforcement and is now bringing BF to court to try to force him to pay her the entire amount of back child support. Even though it's court-ordered that he pay a certain amount plus some to arrears, and that's what we're doing, that's not good enough for BM. She wants it all NOW.

I think it's just a way for these greedy, desperate women to get attention. They think that if they call their husband a deadbeat, people will sympathize with them or give them handouts. Little do they know that she's actually rolling in his dough and he's getting bombarded with bogus subpoenas for contempt of court hearings!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

sheila's picture

all of your circumstances, but years ago when i was married, my (now) x was supposed to be paying child support and wasn't. He just figured it would never catch up to him. We filed joint tax return the first yr we were married and the IRS kept it all. I did not even know he had not been paying so this was a shock to me. ANyway, all the details (this was several years and alifetime ago) but they kept it all because we filed joint. I had to refile some paperwork to get my portion back. I got it back with no problem.

Anonymous's picture

Meshel, everything ever posted (awful things, that is) have happened to us and many other things that are unbelievable. I could tell you horror stories but I fear our BM reads this site for ideas. Sorry that happened. Unfortunately, the only justice in dealing with pathetic, nasty, vile ex's is that someday... albeit NOT soon enough... they will have to face and answer to their Maker.

meshel's picture

Thanks for all your imput, calling lawyer tomorow to try to work this out,she may end up oweing us in the end.....and if they do take that $$ and give it to her for CS, we will drag her to court...and she'll never see another dime from us (I am sooooo venting), What sucks is that I am sick & tired of this constant battling. I was looking forward to a "new year", and to expend my energy on what matters most. My DH & I have better things to do, and when stuff like this happens, it can really take him over. I'm going to say something really selfish here : I want it to be just "us",!! F*#@* everyone els... She, her husband, and her pathetic past present & future life!!! Meshel

papergirl31128's picture

If your spouse owes child support and you file taxes to make sure you get your portion I believe you need to file injuried spouse.
And In ohio they hold the cs that they receive from the irs for 6 months if the other party is married just in case there is an error. With state they do not hold it for 6 months.

We just went through a modification and we got behind on CS (because they went back to the day she filed) anyway even if you are paying (now keep in mind this is in Ohio) If you owe more than 500.00 they go on a list and if you owe something like over 150-200 the state will be held. I also know that while i went through this I was told there could be a chance that it gets turned in to the credit bureau as a deliquent. They don't tell you this unless you ask. This information is just from my experience I have seen it from both ends.

check this website out- http://www.acf.hhs.gov/index.html

Persephone's picture

papergirl is on to something.. check the IRS web site and look into form 8379 an injured spouse filing. You should also call the IRS to let them know what you will be doing so at the very least they only release DH's half and not yours. www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f8379.pdf Page two will explain if you qualify.

happy's picture

its the gov't they can do whatever they want. And yes in all actuallity they can take your tax checks and pay her. Even though you are all paying and trying to get it paid off.. How much do you owe her if I may ask?

Let me tell you my husband and I were divroced in 1999. In 2001 he filed his 1998, 1999 and 2000 taxes. Because I had worked for awhile in 1998 he had my w-2 and called me saying my daughter was sick and I needed to meet him at his tax ladies place and so I went and he said oh yeah can you sign this well the tax lady never said a word that he owed money that I did not have to sign them NOT A WORD. I signed them he owed $14000. to to IRS and guess who lost her tax checks every year after till they were paid.. ME.. I lost all until last year. They took 1/2 in 2005. he probably made $2000 of the payments and I got stuck with the rest. Raising our children, him paying $300 in support a month when he felt like it and there was not one thing I could do about it. I wish I could sue him for all that money. I was paying his debt, let me just also point out that he owed so much taxes because when we bought our first farm it was $85000. sold it to a gravel pit for $265000.00 they were paying him yearly or something payments. So that was considered taxable money. I never seen a dime of that money not thru our divorce and all that money and he couldn't pay those taxes. SO I got royally screwed over. It seems like I am the one who has taken the brunt of his shit since our divorce.

there is my pitty me story. It still makes me angry to think about..
Happy

trepidation's picture

since you and BF now have custody will you file for support from BM? Turnabout is fair play, and all that. Not that it's about payback or the money, but it *is* about responsibility.

To be honest, I used to see no harm in not filing for support from errant BP's, however after what I saw a friend go through, I've completely reconsidered.

My friend's (guy) ex wife abandoned him and their daughter when the child was 4. She had no contact with the child for *10 years*, and he never filed for support. My friend remarried, raised the girl with her SM and then when the girl was 14 he and SM divorced. BM then showed back up out of the blue and sued him for custody. She lived several states away. Did everything she could to turn the daughter against him. For a while the girl went and lived with her (he was *devastated*), eventually she returned to her dad (he really is a fine guy). It was horrendous for him and his relationship with his daughter for several years. He knows that if he had filed for support, BM never would have resurfaced (money's her priority).