SS at BMs
Today DH got a call from SS. He just wanted to talk and I guess whatever was on his mind couldn’t wait until he came back home this evening. At some point in the conversation SS6 referred to BM by her first name. She fussed at him and said “you will call me ‘mom’ when you’re with me!” and SS quickly got off the phone after.
SS refers to her here as by her first name. It’s weird. We’ve asked him why and he just says he doesn’t know or just because. Back when BM was with Babydaddy2, he had a daughter the same age as SS and she called BM by her first name. I’ve heard the two talking before and they both refer to her by her first name.
I don’t know. I only know of two instance when a kid stops calling their kid “mom” and it’s either because she isn’t around (which she is) or parent alienation (which we don’t because we actually don’t think she’s a horrible mom-coparenting yes, mother no).
He calls her mom to her face obviously and hollers “mommy” when he sees her on Fridays so it’s not because they don’t have a bond or anything like that. I’m starting to think it’s a power mechanism for him. He thinks they’re equal, or she’s his friend which makes more sense. It’s all just weird to me.
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Probably the other kids and
Probably the other kids and just following as he is pretty young. When I was with ex, all the kids called me by my first name, and BS called me "mommy first name", dad was just dad, but I was always mommy first name. Probably just following the lead of other kids then habit. Once ex and I split he just called me mommy (he was 5 when we split), but still sometimes called me mommy first name for a few months.
Children will call you
Children will call you whatever they hear other children call you. My own DD called me by my first name because that is what she heard her half brother call me as he lived with us also. Later on DD started calling me mama.
Poor little guy. Your SS seems to get fussed and he hasn't really done anything wrong.
When I was young, I called my
When I was young, I called my dad by his first name when I was mad at him but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Maybe he just thinks that's what he should call her at your house or when he's talking to you guys about her because he feels weird referring to her as "mom" to you and DH.
I get the confusion... I
I get the confusion... I remember Mother's day... I got a card with my name on it (It was super sweet of them to think of me... tbh I was dreading Mother's day like the plague...) But I remember walking into their room and feeling all kinds of confusion about seeing this giant card with the ex's first name written on it... (I also wasn't overly stoked that it was in DH's handwriting... lol... Her flirting with him and lack of standards has made me more territorial than I thought I was... oops!) To me 1) that seemed disrespectful and 2) what in the heck? She gets both the title mom and her name? Is there nothing in this household that is mine?!?! I was not pleased. I also informed DH that since BM has a long term SO, that it's his job to worry about mother's day. Not his. And if the girls ask, then he can tell them to take it up with him. (might have mildly over-reacted, but I didn't want to deal with the crap... And since DH isn't working... And his GI bill already goes basically solely to BM's loans and daycare... He's NOT going to spend my money on her. Period.) Also 3) I don't like her crap in my home... It makes me uneasy, and I don't need some abnormally large card with her name and a heart (also drawn by DH... *hardcore glare*) cluttering up my home. I already have to hear about the woman from the Skids, I hit my limit a lot. So I don't need the extra.
Anyways, I think calling your mom (regardless of how much she may suck, or how horrible of a human being she is) by her first name, is highly disrespectful.. So I understand.
When Bm dropped SS off she
When Bm dropped SS off she was fuming. I told her we’ve tried asking him about it and he just shrugs but we’ve also told him it was weird which is the truth. I’d be annoyed but I also think she’s just insecure enough about her position in his life that the little “normal” stuff kids try with their parents is always blown up into a coparenting battle. I’m sure she’d much rather believe DH is coaching SS to call her by her first name than to actually believe her kid is just testing boundaries like a normal child does.
People call kids what they're
People call kids what they're comfortable with.
My kids don't call DH dad, they call him by his name... but when they talk to ss about dh, they refer to him as Dad. As in "ss, ask dad if..." and when they talk to me, they say "I told ss to ask DH NAME if..."
SS calls me secret, but sometimes he calls me mom. We don't make a big deal about it, we don't correct it. My kids call me mom. When they refer to me to ss, they say secret.. or "my mom"...
I don't think I'd care if my kids used my first name, it would just be strange because they have never done it. lol