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Financial emergency? Oh sorry, we can't talk about it -- SS is here and DH doesn't have time.

LRP75's picture

So I still owe $600 on my student account. I am set to "graduate" Aug. 23rd. Why do I say "graduate?" Well, because until I have that $600 paid off, the University won't release my transcripts, won't give me a diploma, and won't even give me a letter stating that I've completed all of the program requirements.

I am already interviewing for jobs in my field. I really thought that I had one in the bag, the agency was really encouraging during the interview, but I haven't heard from them, nor have they responded to my follow-up. I find that to be incredibly rude and unprofessional, but I digress. That's a different rant all together.

So anyway, Yeah.

PLUS, I absolutely had to get the brakes done on my car AND two new rear tires. If we didn't, my car would not be at all safe for me to drive it. PLUS, I ended up in the Emergency Room two weeks ago because some nails went through my foot (long story).

AND I have to pay all of the fees to get my Limited License and fingerprinting, etc.

Essentially, we are up sh*ts creek without a paddle in regards to our finances.

I call DH to try to talk to him about it. Oops. My bad. How dare I think I could have an adult conversation with my DH when he is off entertaining SS. Oops. My Bad. How dare I call my DH with a problem and think that he would be able to offer me any sort of emotional support, because, oops, my bad, he is off entertaining SS.

Riiiiight. I forgot I don't actually HAVE a "husband" when the skids are around. Stupid me.

So I guess since he isn't interested in acting like an adult just because his kids are around, does that mean I don't have to act like an adult either?

Hmm. I wonder how well THAT would work out.

Must be f*cking nice to get a break from adult responsibilities.

'scuse me while I go try to figure out how to keep this house of cards from falling down, because, according to my calculations, we are going to be approx. $2k in the hole by the end of August.

But that's cool. I can deal with that all on my own. God forbid I interfere with DH's perpetual play time with his whiney ass spawn.

Comments

DeeDeeTX's picture

For the short term, I would say the following to DH.

"We need to talk about the finances sometime in the next 2 days (or whatever) and come up with a plan together. When would be a good time for you to have that discussion?"

LRP75's picture

Yeah, no kidding, right?

Especially since I have to have the University send my transcripts to the Community College to get some courses to transfer from the Univ to the CC to fulfill some requirements at the CC. THEN, once the CC has finished, I have to have the CC send my transcripts BACK to the Univ. to fulfill the rest of the Reqs there. THEN, I can request the Univ to send my transcripts to the state for purposes of licensure so that I can actually GET A JOB working in my field.

Most agencies will hire me knowing that I've applied for licensure and that I've met all of the Univ reqs. BUT if the Univ won't even give me a LETTER saying that I've met all of the reqs, nor will ANY transferring of my transcripts take place at all if that $600 isn't paid....

Well, I guess that does mean a vacation for me and living on the streets for all of us.

No biggie. Sorry DH for interfering with your play time with your son. I should have known better.

lawyergirl06's picture

Have you talked to your university's financial aid department? I know you have finished school but someimes, if you are eligible for financial aid and haven't exhausted it, they can go back and back date it. That would give you some breathing room and allow you to start to look at jobs in your field. Also, the interest rate is terribly low and you might be eligible to get enough to cover some of your other expenses too to get you out of the hole. I know that doesn't deal with the DH problem, but it at least might give you a little room to breathe.

LRP75's picture

All financial aid has been exhausted.

Essentially, I had to register for two more classes late in the semester, because the Community College completely and utterly FAILED on whether or not I met all requirements for the MACRAO. Seriously, there was a HUGE failure on their part. So I had to cram in two more general education courses AFTER all financial aid had been paid, etc.

So I have a balance.

The Univ is willing to do a payment plan, BUT they still won't release my transcripts, a diploma, or even a letter stating I've met program requirements until my account is paid in full.

ImpishTendencies's picture

And in the midst of all this fun quality time together, not a single phrase from the Book of Parenting was spoken.

LRP75's picture

Exactly.

Hope he's enjoying himself. I just had to send out a mass notice letting everyone know that my graduation party has been canceled. I'm looking at the budget and there is just no freaking way we can pull it off. Unless everyone still wants to come over... we can serve them water.

ImpishTendencies's picture

Aww, that sucks. Well, congrats to you on your master's degree!!! Here's a cyber ((((hug)))) and a virtual cake for you Smile

LRP75's picture

Sad Sad

I feel like a tool for even wanting a party. I never even graduated from High School (have my G.E.D.) so I've never walked for a degree or had a party to celebrate ANY kind of achievement -- because I haven't had any.

So, I'll be honest, I was really looking forward to it.

I've plowed through 92 credits in 5 semesters (one and a half years) so that I could transition from one career to another as fast as possible.

I would be heartbroken, literally, to know that everyone else's degree was celebrated but mine wasn't. I am so sorry Stepdown.

(((HUG)))

Now I'm crying for both of us. Sad Sad Sad

LRP75's picture

Going back 3 generations: I will be the first person on my dads side of the family to get a college degree and just the fourth on my moms side.

Yeah, you're right. I can have a party later.

That's pretty anti-climactic though. It's like the University not offering commencements in August. However, I am "welcome" to participate in the winter commencements. You know, 4 months after the fact. :?

ImpishTendencies's picture

So what. You go to that commencement and you stand proud. You EARNED that and you deserve it.

Hanny's picture

And how much $ does your DH spend on entertaining the skids? That's why we never had any $ in my first marriage. The kids came first, THEN we figured out how to pay the REAL bills. You need to tell him that he can't do XYand Z with the skids until your loans are paid off and you get your paperwork.

Annanymous's picture

^ 100% YES THIS. Why is he out spending money entertaining the kid and himself all the time while you are scrounging trying to pay the bills and your degree so you can work and make more income?

Bills come first, entertainment fund comes second, regardless of who the entertainment is for, even if it is for Special Princess Boy.

LRP75's picture

I completely agree with this. Although, he isn't spending money to entertain the kid. Not this time at least. That used to be a HUGE problem for us in the past, as his "entertainment budget" for his kids used to equate to $200+ per visit. He doesn't spend that way anymore because we don't have that kind of money. Period. Now he looks for free stuff to do with them. They do a lot of throwing the ball around, playing board games, video games, going to the library, etc.

Today he took the kid bowling on a $25 gift card that someone gave him.

So I do agree with you 100% about this, but this is no longer a problem in our home. Thank you Jesus.

LRP75's picture

UPDATE: My dad is gifting me the money to clear my student account at the University AND the money to pay for my Licensure!!!

It's my graduation gift. Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin

I'm sobbing because I am SO grateful!!!!!!!!

By the way, it was my STEP-MOM'S IDEA!!!!

I call her my mom, because if I could have chosen who I wanted to be born to, I would have chosen her. Then again, maybe I wouldn't appreciate her so much if I were born to her and didn't have a P.O.S. BM. As it is, my BM is a P.O.S. and I totally love and appreciate the person my step-mom is -- she is the BOMB!!!

She is everything I wish my mom were, but isn't. Biggrin Biggrin Biggrin

oneoffour's picture

Yay! I am so glad and happy and... just wow!
Once again, stepmom saves the day. And this time the SK appreciates it. YYYEEESSS