You are here

BM drama cont...

LRP75's picture

My H and I discussed whether we need to pursue having the twins come live with us for the summer. Naturally, he's all ready to do it.

But then I had to bring reality down onto his ass:

"So then, we are going to file with the FOC to have CS ceased while the twins are living with us, right?"

The look on his face was priceless.

"She would never allow them to come live here if it meant losing CS."


hereiam's picture

Guess that settles that, then. Did he really think you'd let them live with you guys and still pay her CS? What a loon!

LRP75's picture


I don't think that he actually thought that. I think that all he was thinking about was wanting to help his children. His brain hadn't quite made it to the semantics of it yet.

As far as I can tell, we are faced with making one of four choices:

1. Do nothing.

My thoughts: ...

2. Pay BM's bills for her so that she/the kids will have utilities.

My thoughts: I am *not* inclined to pay her bills for her. We have our own over here that we need to worry about.

3. Have the twins come live with us, but keep paying BM support.

My thoughts: Even if we could afford it, I wouldn't do it.

4. Petition the court for an emergency move.

My thoughts: This would be flushing money down the toilet. The judge in her county is notoriously pro-mother. We would never win. As a matter of fact, if history has taught me anything about how that judge rules, not only would we lose, but we would also end up having to pay her more in CS, all of her bills, *and* my H would probably have his parenting time cut in half. Or some insane bullshit like that.

I've asked my H to call her aunt to see if he can get some insight as to what is really going on. We can't trust anything that BM tells us. BM's aunt is an ok lady, as far as I can tell. She may not be 100% honest with us, but she might be able to set some things straight for us.

Until we get some clarification, I am just going to adopt the belief that this is just some sort of shake down. BM is just trying to get more money from us.


hereiam's picture

This would not concern me the least bit. If I remember correctly, she gets plenty of money to pay her bills, plus food stamps.

Even if it were true, would her aunt really put her out, with 2 kids?

Do not pay her bills. Very slippery slope there.

To even begin to believe this story, I would insist on a detailed account of her financials, everything coming in, everything going out. I am sure she does not want to give you that.

I would do #1 but I am a bitch. She is a grown woman and will figure it out, if it's even real, which I don't believe. Not with what you posted the other day about what she gets in CS, food stamps, money from the state and whatever else there was. Something else is going on.

My SD and her BM tried to pull crap similar to this several years ago and I sat down and analyzed the crap out of everything they were saying and spelled out all the inconsistencies to my husband (we had to start recording all calls) and as hard as it was, he did nothing and let it play out. None of what they said turned out to be true, it was all a ruse to get more money.

LRP75's picture

I agree with you 100%!!!

BM's financial woe's don't concern me in the slightest. IF ONLY because I do not believe that her aunt will really put her out with FOUR children. Only the twins are ours to deal with. There is an oldest daughter by one man and a younger son by another. BM has had three pregnancies with three different fathers.

This is why I want to talk to the aunt. I highly doubt that what BM is saying is true. Do I think that she is having financial problems? Yes. Do I think that it's something that *we* need to do anything about? No.

I really do feel like this is a shake down.

LRP75's picture

I mean, why would BM be so forthcoming with this information?? You know, considering that one of the viable options that we would have to us would be to petition for an emergency move for the children? She doesn't want that. I am surprised that she would risk it. But the mere fact that she would risk it, tells me that she is confident that we wouldn't win. Why wouldn't we win? Either because it's not entirely true and/or because the judge will never rule in our favor even if it were. So what would be the point in us spending the money on court?

So she has nothing to lose, but everything to gain if we fall for it.