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OT - so mad right now... .DH's boss

secret's picture

Went to a staff Christmas party this weekend for DH's work... was held in a hotel downtown. We booked a room.

Long story short, when we left in the morning, the van had been robbed.

Filed a complaint with the hotel, advised DH's boss, because it was a company car and some company property was taken.

I put a review on TripAdvisor. I didn't include any "details" that would identify anyone... I wasn't overly negative, just stated facts.

Today, my DH's boss (owner of company, which does building restoration) yells at DH about how his negative review is going to cost him business, they won't be invited back to the hotel for events, blah blah blah... they get into it.

DH texts me about it...told me to take it off because he might get fired.

WTF? So... I did... and later on got to call DH. Just got off the phone with him... I told DH that I don't appreciate getting ordered around by his boss, and that it's not gonna fly... if I want to put a negative review on a hotel site, it should have nothing to do with whether or not the company will get business from them or not... and to threaten my DH's job over it? DH says that no, his boss isn't ordering me around... um, 'scuse me, honey? You just TOLD me to take it down...because you were screamed at by your boss who threatened to lay you off if they lose business because of the review....

I'm pretty angry right now.


momjeans's picture

Wait. How did the boss find out about the review you left (eta: trip advisor must send out negative review notifications fast or something...) Did the hotel contact your DH’s boss? If so, let’s first address this and how all sorts of wrong that is. And not saying it is right, but perhaps the hotel is on the defense because they feel car theft is not their responsibility and that’s why they contacted the boss? To inform him “hey, not our problem!”

I cannot recall ever parking my car in a hotel parking lot and not seeing that “We are not responsible for stolen or lost items from vehicles” signage.

secret's picture

I'm going to assume that the hotel has staff who checks reviews etc... which is normal for hotels etc to address a negative review.

I'm going to also assume that DH's boss was contacted by the hotel, seeing as we were likely the only event there that night.

When it happened, DH is the one who went into the hotel that morning to file the complaint... and DH can be pretty memorable when he's upset about something. He's over 6 feet tall, his upper arms are the size of my thighs... he looks like a mean biker dude... when not clean shaven...

The hotel's parking lot is a "secure lot". It requires key card access. You can't just get in off the street. But, that said, I understand that they are not responsible. Doesn't mean it didn't happen.

All my review really said was to be careful about leaving things in your vehicle, because ours was robbed. It wasn't accusatory or anything.

But for the hotel to contact DH's boss and threaten the "professional relationship" over a negative review they're only assuming is from DH's boss's employee because DH filed a complaint... wrong. For DH's boss to threaten a lay off if the review is not removed, wrong. For DH's boss to scream it at DH and to demand it be removed, wrong.

There are better ways to go about it.

momjeans's picture

“But for the hotel to contact DH's boss and threaten the "professional relationship" over a negative review they're only assuming is from DH's boss's employee because DH filed a complaint... wrong. For DH's boss to threaten a lay off if the review is not removed, wrong. For DH's boss to scream it at DH and to demand it be removed, wrong”

I feel you. His boss could have handled this professionally, and instead was extremely reactionary.

I’d assume the hotel would have exterior cameras. Did your DH address that with the hotel?

secret's picture

That's more the point of my blog. His boss could/should have handled it differently. There was no reason to get all screamy towards DH.

The parking lot does have cameras, yes. I'm not sure if DH addressed it or not with them.

witch.hazel's picture

I can see both sides. You wouldn't have thought about how your review could affect that relationship between the hotel and your DH's workplace. Who would?

However, the hotel would know who it was because they probably know which company had a van that was broken into. DH's boss also had a point. He had no right to yell, threaten, and be demanding, though. He could have just explained the situation and ask that it be taken down.

It sucks, but if you weigh the issue, his work environment and the affect this could have on his relationship with his boss is more important than being able to put your two cents in on a review site. I would let it go, keep the review down and accept that his boss is an A**, and maybe he should start looking for another workplace. You didn't really do anything wrong.

secret's picture

I can also see DH's boss's side... of course I can... and that's what I told DH - that his boss could just have said... Hey... did you post a review... or your wife... could you please ask that she take it down, because it can affect our business relationship... it would have been no issue.

I did take it down, but I'm really irritated at his boss.

We're supposed to go to a kids' party next weekend... and if it's brought up, I'm not sure I can hold back from telling his boss that screaming at DH wasn't the way to go, and that he might get his way by screaming at his staff and ordering them around, but I'm not his staff, and he can suck my proverbial left nut.

WTF...REALLY's picture

I hope you don’t go after your husband‘s boss. Your husband is smart enough to deal with his boss on his own. Don’t go all white trash on him at a party. :?

Tuff Noogies's picture


secret's picture

I really wouldn't go all white trash on him... it's satisfying to run it in my head, though.

Disneyfan's picture

"We're supposed to go to a kids' party next weekend... and if it's brought up, I'm not sure I can hold back from telling his boss that screaming at DH wasn't the way to go, and that he might get his way by screaming at his staff and ordering them around, but I'm not his staff, and he can suck my proverbial left nut."

You need to stay far away from that party and your husband's boss.

Your husband should not have to worrying about losing his job because you can't keep your mouth shut.

secret's picture

I already told DH that I wasn't really up to going to the party.

If I DO go, guaranteed I wouldn't actually say anything like that to his boss. I'm just venting it here because it makes me feel better.

Gimlet's picture

I'm not sure I can hold back from telling his boss that screaming at DH wasn't the way to go, and that he might get his way by screaming at his staff and ordering them around, but I'm not his staff, and he can suck my proverbial left nut.


hereiam's picture

his boss could just have said... Hey... did you post a review... or your wife... could you please ask that she take it down, because it can affect our business relationship... it would have been no issue.

Really, you have no idea that that ^^^ is not what happened and maybe your husband exaggerated when he said that he was yelled at and threatened with being laid off. What his boss said and how he said it may not be exactly how your husband heard it.

secret's picture

well, though that could be the case, it's not the first time I hear of his boss losing it on his staff. Seems it's a regular occurrence... and it's supported by DH's coworkers.

futurobrillante99's picture

Is it possible that your husband THOUGHT his boss was "yelling" at him? I ask because if I even raise my voice one decibel (far from yelling), my DH thinks I'm "yelling" at him. smdh

secret's picture

it's possible... but with what I've heard from other situations, and from DH's coworkers, the boss "actually" "yells"... lots of swearing... huffing, puffing, shaking... banging fists on counters... spittle...the whole shebang.

WTF...REALLY's picture

The boss wants to keep a good working relationship with this hotel. And to have review come from one of his employees wives doesn’t help. I can definitely see your side and the bosses side. However, business is business and I would always support my husband‘s company that helps support me.

secret's picture

If DH hadn't filed a complaint with the hotel, they wouldn't have thought twice about the review. There are many others, much worse.

The review literally said:

Nice hotel, friendly staff, but be careful about leaving valuables in your car, as ours was broken into.

What the hell is so wrong about that....

Disneyfan's picture

What's wrong with it???? You let the world know that hotel does an awful jib at keeping cars in their lot secure/safe.

Just because it was presented in a nice way doesn't mean it won't have a negative impact

secret's picture

well, they do. That's not my fault.

Just because it has a negative impact doesn't mean it shouldn't have been posted - not everything is flowers and rainbows... people post negative reviews on trip advisor all the time. If they don't want people to post that their car got robbed in the parking lot, maybe they should take more precautions to ensure it doesn't happen.

twoviewpoints's picture

Does your the company van that was actually broken into (not your personal vehicle you keep implying with 'our car') have company logo advertising it's business on the door and/or sides? Kind of like 'hey, check me out and what might be in me'?

I'd probably be banging my fist and shouting if my employee parked my company vehicle out in the open parking overnight too. Even with a scan key for entrance to the lot, the other guest had easy access. I leave nothing in my vehicle when I go in hotel . It all gets taken in.

secret's picture

no, not at all. Not even the licence plate... and commercial vehicles generally have different colored lettering... . It's completely nondescript...

It wasn't open parking, though, that's the thing. DH's boss's own company vehicle was parked there as well... as about a dozen other staff's company vehicles too... with DH's boss's blessing

The other guests has access, yes. Regardless...there was theft. Doesn't really matter who/what/where/when/why.... and posting a review stating to the world that a 'theft took place so watch your stuff', isn't anything for DH's boss to yell at DH about.

notsobad's picture

So she can't post the truth?!

We travel a lot and I rely on places like TA when picking a place to stay. Personally, I want to know if there's a theft problem.

If there's a negative impact, good! Maybe the hotel will up security or make sure that their guests have taken all valuables out of their vehicles.

secret's picture

right?? AND I never said the hotel was at fault.

I said to 'be careful about leaving valuables in your car, as ours was broken into'.

Those things happen. Be careful, is all.

Tuesday's Gone's picture

She can post whatever she likes. Just be aware some of what she posts can impact other areas of her life such as her DH's job or her relationship with his boss.

notsobad's picture

This type of thinking is what's wrong with the world today!

Boss put his hand on your knee? Shut up, stop wearing skirts and never be alone with him because I want to keep my job.

Or Anika's blog about the new guys saying I wish you'd kept BMs name out of it because I don't want to deal with her being upset.

The wrong people are taking the punishment and bs because no one wants to rock the boat and do the right thing.

In this case, the boss is wrong, the hotel is wrong and OP has every right to be angry about it!

Tuesday's Gone's picture

Like it or not, it's still the reality. OP can be angry till the cows come home. It doesn't change the fact what we put out there for the world to read can sometimes have negative repercussions, personally and professionally. And threatening to tell off the boss? I'd love see how that would play out.

secret's picture

But it SHOULDN'T... that's the point. That's why I'm angry.

1) the hotel shouldn't threaten a business relationship. This is a chain hotel. In the downtown core of our country's capital. Not some mom & pop owned joint.

2) the boss shouldn't yell at the staff... &
3) the boss shouldn't threaten a lay off

Both those are grounds for the Ministry of Labour to get involved.... loads of paper work... Human Rights board & Ethics committees...lots of hassle for DH's boss...because he IS a family owned small business...worth millions, but still bound by employment laws etc... DH isn't above going to them, just to be a thorn in his boss's side if his boss lays him off.

Disneyfan's picture

She's free to post whatever she wants to post. Her husband's boss is free to fire if he believed her post will have a negative impact on his company.

secret's picture

Our employment laws are a little different than yours. After making such a public scene about it, he'd get sued...and lose.

DaizyDuke's picture

I can totally see why the boss would be pissed. It was really HIS place to make a complaint if he felt warranted because the vehicle that was involved in the crime is owned by him. Even if you didn't mention company name etc in your complaint it's a guilt by association thing and boss should have been made aware of complaint BEFORE you filed it, again since he owns the vehicle in question.

secret's picture

He WAS made aware of the robbery at the time it happened... Saturday morning. He just shrugged his shoulders. The review was posted last night.

Though some tools were company property, it wasn't HIS money, HIS outerwear gear, or HIS other tools that were taken... stuff that HE requires DH to provide and leave in the van... well other than the $... but that was hidden in a compartment in the console.

DaizyDuke's picture

I meant he should have been made aware of the online complaint before it was posted since it basically included him since he owns the vehicle.

momjeans's picture

I’m all about leaving informative reviews, but it was a company vehicle. Not your vehicle, not your employer - correct?

Company car theft to me would have involved me taking pictures of damage/item(s) missing that should be there and informing my boss, inquiring as to how he wanted me to handle it, if at all.

momjeans's picture

That sucks that your DH’s personal property was stolen. It also sucks he chose to park his company vehicle there overnight. I assume it wasn’t an option to take your personal vehicle, together? It sounds like you met him there after work.

Is the monetary burden of replacing it all going to fall on your DH? One would think the company would have insurance to cover this.

secret's picture

He chose to park it there overnight, because that was the "option" offered by DH's boss.

Yes, we could have taken my car, or our van, no problem... but DH's boss had told staff that if they use company vehicles, they could get picked up/dropped off and anyone who would leave the company vehicle there would get a ride home/cab fare... and that anyone staying the night (and had a company vehicle) would be expected to help take stuff there and back.

I didn't meet him there, he came home after work and we left together. We got ready at the hotel.

Basically, DH chose to use the company vehicle, to help his boss transport stuff to the event, then back to the shop the next day.

DH is likely going to have to replace his own gear, yes.

bananaseedo's picture

I see nothing wrong w/the review, it was honest. They are the ones that suck, and the boss honestly.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

This may seem like an alternate view, but I don't like this situation at all. It feels like all round intimidation to cover up the fact that the hotel has a security / theft issue. I don't care if the hotel loses business - they deserve to if this is the sh!tty way they treat guests who have legitimate complaints. (I am not saying the hotel behaved badly because we only have the one side of the story, but on face value this is a customer service fail.)

I have posted on and used Tripadvisor for years. I appreciated the candidate information people share - especially about hotel shortcomings. I will not be happy to pay to stay in a hotel which claims to have secure parking but then has a theft problem. The legitimate reviews of customers should not be removed if the review is true. It may be negative - doesnt change the fact that it reflects actual events that happened at the hotel.

There is a (slight) difference between being at a hotel in your personal capacity and being there as a representative of your company. The fact is that in both instances you are a guest of the hotel. It is abhorrent that the hotel may have threatened DH's company with withholding future business because of the review. The review was not untrue. Alternatively, it is ridiculous that DH's boss thinks that by posting a review, he has the right to demand it be removed. If you don't want someone's spouse to experience a work outing, don't invite them. It doesn't give the boss the right to think he can censor secret by threatening the employment of her DH. There are so many wrongs in this situation it makes me sick.

I am an employer - I am a co-partner in a practice and we have 16 staff. We may be very small, but the service and loyalty of our staff is prized above sh!tty clients. If my staff member is wrong, I will deal with them internally. In a situation like this, I would choose my employee over the future potential business from the hotel. Money (to me at least - and my practice partner) is not the do all and die all of our business. I would rather lose the business of the hotel than tolerate the hotel's questionable intimidatory practices. I wont link my practice reputation to a business I can not respect.

advice.only2's picture

I'm wondering if the location saw the review and contacted the boss to apologize and he didn't understand since he didn't see or post the review...then I'm wondering if it put him on the spot and made him uncomfortable that he had to explain he wasn't the one who posted the review and that's why he got irritated and yelled at your DH.

I'm not that invested in this, just wondering if that's the circumstances that surrounded this and how he came to be yelling at DH.

secret's picture

Maybe... but if so, it was an assumption on the hotel's part to contact him. Then it was an assumption on the boss's part that it was DH.

(yes, in this case they were correct...)

What if it wasn't me who had posted it?

Or I could have denied it... it's totally anonymous... there's no trace or way to find out it was me... then what? They all look like giant buttheads? For what?

secret's picture

oh, I deleted it as soon as my dh mentioned it. I don't want to make things difficult for DH, and I'll support him about it, as angry as it makes me. It's not HIS fault.

momjeans's picture

I find it very odd for the hotel to contact the boss, by phone.

Generally, bad review resolution is handled by email (so there’s a trail of communication) or in person. Most of the time, issues can be resolved by email. Worst case, a business can invite a customer back to make it right, or whatever else needs to be handled in person.

To me, this was handled unprofessionally by the hotel, then things went downhill from there.

secret's picture

it could have been by email, I don't know. Not sure how it happened, just that DH asked me to take it down because he might get fired...that his boss was yelling at him about the review and that it was going to cost him business, wouldn't be invited back there, and other things.

Don't really know how the communication went... but either way, the hotel made the assumption that the review was from someone in that group.

In this case it was, but what if it wasn't?

The proper process is to contact the POSTER of said review.

secret's picture

I wouldn't have had to know the background between them - nobody should, really.... I worked for the federal government for about 10 years... that particular hotel is in very close proximity with several big federal gov' buildings... and is often used for events etc. It's not uncommon. For me to know that there was a "special" relationship between the hotel and DH's boss's company is ludicrous... because never, ever, in my time as a Fed, would I have even considered that posting a review as someone using the hotel's service would have repercussions on the relationship between the hotel and the Fed'l gov't.

The room was on my credit card. *I* was a guest. *I* posted a review about *my* experience.

It had nothing to do with the boss's company, though I can see why the boss is upset. I would be, too. But I wouldn't have a mantrum and yell at my staff... that's just unprofessional...unethical... venting online is one thing - yelling at someone you're in a position of power oer, totally another.

secret's picture

They're a construction/building restoration company. I expect some level of hand-greasing etc... scratch your back I scratch yours... give me a discount and I'll have my guys plow your garage... sure, ok.

But to expect everyone else to know about all their arrangements and act accordingly? Pffft.

notsobad's picture

I completely understand your anger, I would be just as upset.

Was there a police report made? Is the boss going to go through insurance? Who's going to replace DHs personal items?

In the interest of not rocking the boat or making this into something that gets out of control I'd take down the review but I'd tell everyone I knew about the theft.

secret's picture

I took down the review as soon as DH let me know it was causing an issue.

I don't know any of the answers... if it was ME, I'd file a police report for the missing items, to go through my private insurance. It's worth more than the cost of deductible.

I'll be vocal about it, sure. My experience there did not hinge on having been a guest at a work party. It could have happened if I was there for shiggles...and I'd have posted the same thing.

Goodluck's picture

This is an odd one.

**DH was attending a company event. After the event was over AS a consumer DH utilized a reservation at this hotel at his expense, correct?

OR was he on the company's dime.**

Something appears to be off with the boss dude. WHY is boss guy mad about the less than flattering review? DH didn't tell untruths, the van was broken in to.

Does the company your husband works for use this hotel often for cooperated employees who fly in and out on business and stay there? IE: lower corp rates for DH's company verses if Mr. Jones flew in on business from another business.

You would think the Manager of this hotel would be sucking UP to you and boss dude to reestablish trust so the Hotel doesn't loose the business IF in fact that is what is going on.

Something doesn't seem right.

secret's picture

The event ended at 1am, though those who stayed at the hotel ended up partying in the rooms until about 4. (I went to bed at 2. Not a big partier.)

The hotel room and parking was paid by me.

We had a group rate, since there was a block of rooms... which is standard and not specifically related to DH's boss's company... while we booked under the group rate, my company rate was better so we used that.

There is no clients that fly in etc... turns out the boss was concerned because they get a good rate when they do their yearly Christmas party.

Also, DH's boss apologized to dh later in the day...but dh walked away. Apparently everyone else in the shop was telling the boss that he reacted way out of line and shouldn't have flipped on dh.

Probably, also, the boss realized that by threatening to lay off dh over it he shot himself in the foot because that would put him in the ministry of labour's cross hairs for a wrongful dismissal suit. Construction guys stick together.

notasm3's picture

PM me the name of the hotel and I'll post a review (I have a great rating as a reviewer on TA) in a month. Just "beware they have had theft problems in the parking area."

We travel fairly often to New Orleans where I used to live. I always warn people about the potential for theft that is much higher there even in the best neighborhoods. Just common sense to make people who live in ultra safe areas aware.

secret's picture

There are other negative reviews about the hotel. It's not like mine stood out.

I also have a great rating on TA. Blum 3

Acratopotes's picture

You earthlings surely are freakishly funny...... so glad I live on Mars..

we do not waste time writing reviews and crap on anything... it's quit simply...

stay at a hotel, your car get broken into, the room is dirty, staff is unfriendly, food is disgusting, what ever the reason might be...
Martians makes sure they never stay in that hotel again... it's that simply..

You might have a bad experience at a place, it's not to say the rest of Mars have the same bad experience, maybe your car is the first one broken into? Now you blapped all over internet about it....

I mean what happened 10 years ago when people where not able to give reviews on social media? Nothing... if you id not like the place you never went back, and to be honest, 1 dislike had 10 likes... places did not go bang simply because you are not booking there...
and even with your review on this one, doors will not close lol... they will remain in business,

so in my view - a whole drama, for what... to loose your temper, to feel some one is threatening your.... nah secret I think it's time you get your toosh out to Mars ... for a year or so....

secret's picture

This wasn't the first car to be broken into... I've been there before... it's happened before... it's just the area. It's in the downtown core. It's not necessarily the hotel's fault... it's just fact - potential to have your stuff stolen.

What happened 10 years ago? Word of mouth... lol

I'm not looking to close the hotel. The hotel itself is nice enough, staff is good etc... I didn't say anything bad about the hotel.

I'm SO down to get out there for a year.

Acratopotes's picture

well if it happened before it will probably happen again....

why leave your car there... see I'm a logic kind of person, maybe because Mars is different lol.... over here you do not even leave a candy wrapper visible in your car, some vulture will walk past, break the window just to see if you left him something to lick off the wrapper,
we leave nothing in a parked car... hell they broke one day my window for my packet of ciggy's on the passenger seat... bastards did not even leave me one... and for that I was pissed off... 4 hour meeting without smoking and they did not leave me 1

secret's picture

Nothing was broken... which makes me think the hotel left it unlocked when they moved it.

It happens. I wasn't really angry at that. Or the hotel.

I was more or less mad because it seems like DH's boss felt like he could strong-arm me into doing what he wanted by threatening my DH's job, instead of just asking, like a normal person.... thought he could hit me where it hurts for me to do what he wanted... my DH is more pissed off than I am, I think.