Therapy time

Took the day off to see my therapist and talk through some of the feelings I’m having about SD-14 and other things going on. Want to disengage from SD but husband think I need to keep trying. I expressed what I’ve read and advice I’ve been given from this site and he sees I need to do it for my own self preservation. Feels guilty when he’s doing something with his daughter and I’m not included. I told him not to. He wants me to at least (continue) to say hello and be nice, which I have been. My thinking is if you walk into someone’s house you say hello to them first. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s petty. I hate talking to her and getting nothing in reply. Crickets are louder than she is!

#Ugh #disengage #stepdaughter

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We treat people with civility

We treat people with civility not because they deserve it, but because it a reflection of our own character and integrity.

If you say hello to anyone else who enters your home, do so for her, too. Her silence is a reflection of her own character, and that should characteristic should make your DH ashamed.

I do say hello and she walks

I do say hello and she walks past me and he definitely is not pleased.

I hear you....

Its humiliating to always be the one to extend kindness and get rejected in return. The toll it takes leads to disengagement. Whatever happened to respect your elders and acknowledge them. Seems like your SD has not been parented well.

Thanks. She was taught that

Thanks. She was taught that then says “you’re not my mother” and claims he never taught her that. Ugh! Lots of twisted stories and lies. Playing both parents...

You do what you need to do.

You do what you need to do. It's not up to your husband to decide when YOU have had enough of his daughter. Your husband seems to understand why you're backing off, which tells me he knows where the problem lies. (This is exactly how disengagement went down with my husband and me too -- he doesn't like it, but what can he possibly say about his kid's awful behavior being the impetus for my disengagement? He's seen her behavior toward me.)

I was always taught

1. the younger greets the older FIRST not the other way around

2. when introducing someone the younger gets introduced FIRST to the older person (thus showing the proper respect for elders and that they are ABOVE younger people in the hierarchy)

Somehow the pendulum has swung to the opposite end of the spectrum, namely child worship.

Eff off to that child first

Eff off to that child first pendulum swing!

Agreed. I see it everyday

Thinkthrice, I agree. I see it everyday with my middle school students.

I Admire you

I couldn't be a schoolteacher...they would arrest me on the first day. My daughter in law is a second grade teacher in a private school; I don't know how she does it.

Do therapy went well. Got my

So therapy went well. Got my frustrations out about SD and school! The two kind of tie together sometimes. Anyway, he agrees with the disengagement and says there’s research to back it. My teacher hat likes it when something is backed by research...lol.

Thanks everyone for the advice and stories. I like why someone said that they aren’t mad but indifferent to their SS16. That’s how I feel. I’ll make sure she’s safe and fed with everyone else when in my/our care. But that’s about it.

Comments

We treat people with civility

I do say hello and she walks

I hear you....

Thanks. She was taught that

You do what you need to do.

I was always taught

Eff off to that child first

Agreed. I see it everyday

I Admire you

Do therapy went well. Got my

Theres research to back it?

Yes, research that says it’s

That would be great!

P.S.

You are here

Therapy time

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