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lmrnmr's Blog

Is it policing or parenting?

lmrnmr's picture

Hello all!  I've written in the past about the relstionship with my 15, going on 16, year old SD and how things were going. They have gotten better and she and I get along fine.  For the past month, due to the quarentine, she has been with us as her mother works with the public on a daily basis and doesn't want to take the chance of infecting her.  Before the quarentine she has been told by her father that as a member of this household (and she's with us more than her mom anyway) she needs to pitch in and empty the dishwasher.  THAT'S IT...EMPTY it.

Pretty good week & a question

lmrnmr's picture

So it's been a pretty good week.  I decided last week to disengage from the SD-14 and my husband understands.  I did mention in another blog that my therapist mentioned research related to disengaging.  I haven't had a chance to text him for it or look it up myself but I will and pass it along.  

Question...How do/did you handle finances/bills?  I've been on my own for 22 years.  My pay check has been my own and pays my mortgage, ect.  We are trying to combine and split the bills but I'm having trouble handing over control.  Any suggestions?

Happy Friday!!!

 

Therapy time

lmrnmr's picture

Took the day off to see my therapist and talk through some of the feelings I’m having about SD-14 and other things going on.  Want to disengage from SD but husband think I need to keep trying. I expressed what I’ve read and advice I’ve been given from this site and he sees I need to do it for my own self preservation. Feels guilty when he’s doing something with his daughter and I’m not included. I told him not to. He wants me to at least (continue) to say hello and be nice, which I have been. My thinking is if you walk into someone’s house you say hello to them first. Maybe I’m wrong.

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As the weekend approaches

lmrnmr's picture

As the weekend approaches I start to get anxious.  I couldn't figure it out at first then realized it's because the SD-14 will be over and I anticipate drama and tenstion as that has been the case.  Even when she ignores me the tension is in the air.  I have started to try and disengage and do my own thing but that put her on the familyroom tv playing video games, which aren't allowed at her mom's house, and me in my room or at the kitchen counter making myself busy.  I don't mind the video game playing, it keeps her out of her room and gives her time with her father.

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I know I'm not alone! - (Meant this as a blog not a new forum)

lmrnmr's picture

Hello everyone.  I'm new here and finding it helpful and theraputic.  This is my first blog, though I've commented on other posts.  I recently remarried a man I knew 30 years ago.  We are both divorced, his newer than mine, and have a child each...I have a 22 year old son and he has a 14 year old daughter. He and my son get along great.  His daughter would rather he be single and doesn't speak to me. She did when we first started dating, was friendly, polite... Then we got engaged and it all changed.  

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