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As the weekend approaches

lmrnmr's picture

As the weekend approaches I start to get anxious.  I couldn't figure it out at first then realized it's because the SD-14 will be over and I anticipate drama and tenstion as that has been the case.  Even when she ignores me the tension is in the air.  I have started to try and disengage and do my own thing but that put her on the familyroom tv playing video games, which aren't allowed at her mom's house, and me in my room or at the kitchen counter making myself busy.  I don't mind the video game playing, it keeps her out of her room and gives her time with her father.  I just can't wait for her to leave and I hate that I feel that way. I told my husband to plan things with her and don't worry about not including me.  I'd prefer it that way at the moment.  They were very close and she's feeling left out.  I have been alone for 22 years so I'm find spending time with myself.  I look forward to it at times.  They need to fix what has fractured over the last year and I don't need to be a part of that right now.  I just don't know how to express this to him without hurting his feelings.  He wants all of us to spend time together so she "gets use to me/us" but it feels forced.  He and I were in Boston over night last weekend and on the way home we were going to pick her up.  He wanted to go out to eat, the three of us, but I wanted to go home.  I din't come out and say why but he got it and dropped me off before getting his daughter.  Thanks for letting me vent.  

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thinkthrice's picture

nauseous around every Wednesday that the three peccaries were coming over.  

Funny thing the cycle went like this:

1. BM withholds visitation because she wants to "punish" biodad for moving on (this is when the foothold of PAS starts)

2. BM starts dating again and can't wait to dump off the little "angels" (this period is marked by ample visitation and disneydadding which heightens disrespect for biodad and SM)  BM makes sure to interrogate skids for further "evidence" needed against biodad and SM down the road.  CPS is often called during this period on biodad.

3.  BM finds "the one" and announces to skids that her new man is the new "daddy."  (PAS continues)

4.  BM starts withholding again only through the skids with phoney baloney excuses (skids can't come to visitation due to the 4 times each month "annual" reunion with BM's side of the family, National Donut Day, etc. etc--PAS ramps up)

5.  At this point biodad has "Options": 

a. spend mountainous amounts of cash (that he doesn't have after paying massive CS) to "fight" for his kids (aka enforce basic visitation) 

b. spend astronomic amounts of cash (that he doesn't have after paying massive CS) to try and get custody--if he wins which odds are he won't, skids go running back to the house of no rules aka BM's anyway) 

c. slowly submit the the "machine" and drop the rope hoping that one day skids will "see the light"

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I felt that way until I disengaged. DH is responsible for everything skid-related. EVERYTHING. Since I stopped cleaning up after the skids, DH stepped up. He quickly tired of it and, since then, makes the skids clean up after themselves. Skid meals are either served on paper plates or DH takes them somewhere.

Now I look forward to doing things *I* want to do with a friend (or friends) or solo.