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I kept my mouth shut so I could have Christmas peace...

Last-Wife's picture

Our family Christmas at my parents was sheduled for Sunday at 11:00, a big lunch and then presents and time for my parents to hang out with the kids and watch them enjoy their gifts. My parents have always been good to my skids, and in my eyes, have never treated them any different than they treat Gibby, other than the fact that he is 7 years younger than them...

But since Princess and Lazy Boye had spent their holiday with their BM, Loca Grande, I knew she would find some way to try to screw it up. She sent a text message Saturday afternoon that Princess was just worn out, and she didn't know if she'd be able to make it since she had to be rested for her job camp training on Monday. I told Logthead, my DH, that if that girl every planned to be on my good side EVER again that she better get her ass to Nana's and not be late!

So I wasn't really surprised on Sunday when she called Loghead's phone on Sunday morning at 10:30. I answered, since he was out with my Dad for morning coffee. She didn't realize it was me, and asked "Do we really have to come?"

WTF! I started to tell her off, when Loghead walked in the door and I handed him the phone, and whispered to him what she'd said. SHE WAS STILL IN BED AT HER MOTHER'S!!! He took the phone to the other room, and really let her have it.

She called back about 20 minutes, and tried to apologize "I didn't mean it like that." She said she was so tired and worn out. Yes, because you told us you were going to your mother's early to help her get ready for the holidays but we can see all over Facebook that you were in the big city visiting all of your new college friends... She said she woke up with terrible back pain and could hardly move and she'd overslept, and Loca Grande had made her hot chocolate and tried to get her moving. Yea, I'm sure Loca Grande helped out... Anyway, I told Princess she was 18 and in college and it was time to get her act together. I told her her grandparents had gone to a lot of trouble to make a nice holiday and they had already had to replan the feast since she was too immature to show up on time. I told her I didn't want an apology- I wanted action...

So she and Lazy Boye arrive almost 3 hours late. She's still in her frickin' PJs, hair looks like a haystack, and no make-up. She has the nerve to ask her father if there was time to take a shower. He tells her if she couldn't get up to make herself presentable for holiday pictures- that would be on Facebook, he added- then she would just have to live with it, because no one else had had any Christmas yet, since we had been waiting on them...

She was nice to my parents, but pretty much ignored me. Opened presents, played games, she snuck off and napped all afternoon. Loghead dragged her out of the house, to go get something, and when she came back, she looked like she had been crying. My parents life in the town where we met and he told me he took her around for an old tour and told her stories of things I did for them when they were little...

I was hurt and embarassed. I felt bad for my parents, who have always been so good to my skids. Now granted, my mom is a little weird about somethings, and she's very particular about how she likes her house. But when they built and designed this house, they actually designed with the children in mind; knowing there would be a houseful of teenagers one day, who would want their own space when they came to visit. But I watched as my parents made time to sit with each skid, and really talk to them about school and friends and the skids' interests...

So around 10:oo last night, Loghead kinda blows up at me about how he's tired of my mom's crap and he's not coming back next year. He's mad because she doesn't want the kids to sleep in my brothers' room. Now my brother is 33 and does not live in the Continental US. He and his wife were not home for the holidays, but my mom designed the house that we would each have our own space with our own things when we came to visit. She even gave my husband and I the bigger bedroom, since we live closer and visit more often... The children have their playroom, and she purchased special air mattresses and sheets for each child when they visit. He thought it was crap that the skids have to sleep on an air mattress. I'm like, WTH are you talking about? And he starts going off on her weird little traits, and how she acts with the skids and Gibby...

So many things wanted to jump out my mouth, but in the name of Christmas, I kept my mouth shut. But I am sure I will email him later this week, but I will spew them to you all now:

- I could understnad you being pissed if they treated the skids different than Gibby, but they don't;
- They bought Princess $2000 worth of computer equipment for college
- They designed their whole house so we could be comfortable here
- They paid $4000 for our Disney trip- for ALL of us to go
- They spent time individually with each of YOUR kids today- something your parents never do
- When I was nine months pregnant, and could hardly move, I slept at YOUR MOTHER'S house for 6 days on a love seat; while the skids had beds

Yes, we went to bed angry, but I wasn't going to let it get to me and ruin my holiday. He must have stewed in his anger, because he tossed and turned all night.

Without my knowing, I discovered this morning, he DID let Lazy Boye sleep in my brother's bed. I was irritated at the disrespect he showed me and my mother by doing that. But I simply covered it up by washing the sheets while my mom was out today...

Princess left at 6 am to make it back to our home for her job camp today. PITA, Lazy Boye and Gibby helped my parents put away Christmas stuff. The big boys and Loghead had tickets to the a basketball game at the boys' dream college tonight! That was their holiday surprise, my big gift to them. All I got was a "gee, thanks!" but their body language did tell me that as two teenage boys they were really excited. They are at the game now. and are headed home after. Gibby and I are staying a few days. My mom has her6 month cancer check ups tomorrow and I cam going while my dad and Gibby get the car taken care of...

I'm going to enjoy my few days skid free. I let their actions and their mother roll off my back. All in all, I
d say I am ending my year living up to my resolution I had set for 2010- "I will not let your drama affect me."

Comments

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Good for you! I'm glad you managed to enjoy your holiday and pull the kids' heads out of their asses for your parents too.

My pet peeve is for people to call when they're already supposed to have left to be somewhere to try and negotiate about it. If a person is going to ask to make other arrangements, they should call when they know that. Not when they're supposed to be there. It makes me furious. You are a lot nicer than I would be.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

You know, I can never figure out why people wait for that one person to show up for something. Especially if they know what time they are supposed to be there. I mean, if there was an accident or they are stuck in traffic or something, that's different. However, being chronically late is a "control" issue. They know everyone will wait for them. Whatever. At this house, dinner is a 7:00 p.m. If you are not here, we eat without you. When there is a holiday, whatever time we say the activities start, THAT's what time they start. It only took ONE TIME for SS to figure this out. He was NEVER late again!

Ssamantha's picture

My ex-mother-n-law was always late for everything. She was late for my wedding to her son. It wasn't anything malicious but that's just how she was. My XH and I proceeded with the wedding as planned and she missed up getting married. It was unbelievable.