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Is it okay to not really like my SS, like at all?

krissykat's picture

So I have two SS9 and SS5. SS9 is a bit of a nightmare, but I have learned to just distance myself from him. He can feed himself so he doesn't require any attention. SS5 on the other hand wants and needs attention 24/7. He talks over everyone no matter who is talking. I would be on the phone with my parents that I rarely get to talk to and he's screaming over them and me asking about food, juice, tellimg me he needs to go to the bathroom, or really anything else he can talk about. 

I understand hes a kid and wants attention, but honestly he just annoys me at this point. I feel bad because hes just a kid, and he misbehaves like every other kid his age. He gets into things hes not supposed to, he colors on stuff he shouldn't, he cut his own hair with scissors he found in his brothers backpack. He does basic kid mahem stuff.

I just feel like I have no patience for him. its fine when his dad gets home from work, and I really only have to deal with him from the time he wakes up at 10am and the time his dad gets home at 3:30 because then its his problem, but the few hours I do have to deal with him, I really just dont like him. Everytime he talks its just annoying to me. I feel horrible about it because hes just a kid, but the stupid faces he makes when i tell him to do something and he acts like I'm stupid. When we all go to the park he throws a fit if we dont watch every time he goes down the slide. If me SS9 and DH play something like basketball or something that hes a bit too small for, or just to give SS9 attention, he gets mad and starts hitting things. Yesterday he threw his little basketball at my dogs head when DH didn't answer him when he didn't hear him. 

Is it bad to not like him? Will it get better as he gets older and loses his need for attention or am I jsut stuck not really liking them until they get older? These characteristics are easier to look past when they are your own flesh, but its different when they aren't yours. You don't get the gratifying love at the end of the day like the parents do. 


Rumplestiltskin's picture

Are your DH and his BM still using you as their free daycare? Is he still paying child support to BM while you watch the kids? Being exhausted and taken advantage of tends to make even little things more annoying. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

That doesn't mean you have to put up with their crap, though! If you haven't stopped being the default babysitter, do so now! And when you are around the kids, don't put up with any disrespect. If you aren't exhausted and resentful you will be more likely to tolerate the "normal" stuff, but you have to get to that place first. Good luck!

acef92's picture

From my experience, try disengaging. It is so so difficult to deal with this things and unfortunately never ends, you will dislike a LOT of things in the future because as your said is different when they aren't yours. Try to put limits and estrict rules in your house and in certain situations, they are little children is easier, believe me it gets so much worst when they get older. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

The sad thing is, kids like this aren't being reared, they're just being babysat so they miss out on the correction and consistency of good parenting. Manners and other social skills are often lacking, along with a host of other important things. So this kid will probably be challenging for many years to come. Is this the life you want?

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Yep. It's sad and not entirely their fault, but kids who aren't raised properly tend to have behaviors that make them unlikeable. Embarrassing to take in public, gross to eat with, disrespectful, attention-seeking, unable to self-entertain, the whole 9 yards. Other kids won't want to play with them so they will always be home, right up until and after they fail to launch.