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Keep STBX/SS on my insurance?

Krissy's picture

My health benefits at work are fully paid for myself and all of my dependents. Because STBX was ordered to provide insurance for SS, I just put him on my policy because it costs me nothing. SS has had a few health issues, but nothing too troublesome. I have had to make two or three calls to the insurance company to straighten minor issues out, but there hasn't really been much of an problem.

Now that we are splitting, obviously I spoke to STBX about this matter. I let him know that I will keep SS (and him) on my policy until July 1, but at that point I am going to remove them both. BB knows that it's my insurance and she has already approached STBX about adding SS to her own policy, that she'll figure out how much exra it is and that would be added to his CS every month. STBX has SS about 40% of the time and he still pays almost $900/mo in CS. I honestly don't know how he will afford an extra $100 or so nor do I believe that he should have to. Honestly, I believe that STBX should go in and ask for a reduction, but thankfully this is no longer my business.

Anyway, so STBX has asked that I keep them both on my policy indefinitely. I have no reason not to, other than the fact that it seems dishonest to me. Also, if something major happened to either of them, there could be issues if it's ever discovered that they are not dependents/do not live with me (and there is no order that obligates me to provide benefits for either). I don't want to be a bitch, and STBX doesn't get why I don't want to do this. Any advice? I know that if it were him, STBX would provide insurance for DD and I if we asked.



fedupinarkansas's picture

you are about to be divorced. I feel like this THEY (BM&STBX) are his parents and it is their responsibility to provide for him. In your post you said STBX not being able to afford an extra $100 is not your business anymore. IMO neither is providing health insurace for them.As for STBX HELL NAW should you keep that thing on your insurance. Another thing insurance fraud is a felony are they worth it?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

marika's picture

You owe them nothing. You can't keep him on your insurance. You are not legally responsible for him and you don't want to go the felony route! Do not do him any favors.

Be strong!

step mom of 1's picture

I agree with the rest of the ladies you owe them NOTHING!!! They are not your responsibility or PROBLEM anymore. Best of luck

Anne 8102's picture

I don't see any harm in keeping them both on your policy until your divorce is final if that's what you want to do. To be on the safe side, call up HR or your insurance company and find out how they handle divorcing couples. Until the divorce is final, you are still legally married and they may still be eligible as dependents. Find out what triggers ineligibility with regard to your plan. It could be a legal separation, but it's probably the actual finalizing of the divorce that renders them ineligible. The key phrase in my advice, though, is "if that's what you want to do." You're not obligated, so don't feel like you have to do it. But I don't think you would be committing insurance fraud or anything like that, since you're still legally married.

~ Anne ~

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Nymh's picture

I kind of agree with Anne. If that's what you want to do, and it's not costing you anything, I say go for it. But make sure that you let him know that when they become ineligible, you will be removing them. You don't need to go to jail for insurance fraud just to help out your STBX.

If they are eligible for coverage indefinitely (which I highly doubt, but you never know), I think it would be inappropriate for him to still be covered by you when he or you begin to become serious with someone else. Others may not see it that way but I could imagine the jealousy issues I'd have if my partner was still on his ex wife's insurance. It may be trivial, but then again sometimes it's the little things that really set people off and you don't want to lose someone you care about or get a bit%^y phone call or email from a girlfriend of his over that, you know?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Steve's picture

I had a problem with taking My Exwife off My Insurance, I had a Police Report stating that She had picked up Her Belongings, a Statement from My Landlord that She was NO LONGER Living or Welcome at My Address, etc. And Corporate gave me a bunch of Flack. She couldn't even be covered by My HMO, They were local and She moved out of the area. If They say You can't change until Open Enrollment or whatever, then You'll have to wait, but Legal Separation should qualify as a "Major Life Event" to change before then. Good Luck !!!


Cruella's picture

Call the insurance company. Explain to them you are in the process of a divorce and find out what their rules are. It may not be a decision of yours to make. I think on my insurance I am able to keep my DH on my insurance however the Skid may be a different story. I thought you had to claim skid on your taxes and skid is supposed to be YOUR dependent and you are suppose to prove he is your dependent. To me it is a lot of trouble to help the people who have been real assholes to you. It is their problem. I wouldn't allow stbx the please of having any benefits of being married to you after the way he treated you. He needs to find out really quickly the reality of not having you in his life anymore.

Annie's picture

I say if you are divorcing, no offense, but what was the comment he said about your DD? That after you split he wants nothing to do with her? Oh, but that's right....because it's HIM and HIS SON, you are to keep doing what he wants or thinks he needs? Krissy, if and when you are done and divorced, you will need to work at letting it go and moving on. Having them on your insurance is not letting it go. How would you feel if you married him, when all things were a bit happier, and there he had his ex and HER child (not his) still on his insurance for "indefinite"? After the comments and things he's done and said, honey, when you cut those ropes, you need to completely cut them. Legal or not, you owe him nothing. He can't even be CORDIAL to your innocent child that knows him as "daddy", yet, he expects you to do this? Not only NO, but heck NO! What a self centered, selfish prick! Maybe it's time grew some! By you keeping him on there, you are only make his life easier. So what if he can't afford it? Then I guess if he wants to be able to live, then he'll have to take action then won't he? If you allow him to continue to use you, you will NOT be happy.

Krissy's picture

Thanks girls. I will definitely be taking them off once we are legally divorced...I honestly didn't even think about it as committing fraud, but I guess it is, plain and simple. I had SS covered as according to the benefit rules, as long as the minor child lives at the primary's address for X amount of time, s/he is eligible. As that will no longer be the case, I am sticking to my July 1 date. I asked our HR and I can make the change at any time.

It's not so much that I really want to keep any connections to him. Honestly, it was my choice to start the divorce proceedings and I really have no interest in maintaining any relationship with him. He has been a ass for SURE, but we both have said crappy things during heated arguements. I know that he is not for me and that DD and i are MUCH better off without him. I just don't harbor any anger at this point, or any feelings of revenge. I actually kind of pity him and regardless of what he's done, I don't want him to suffer and I don't wish poor things for him. If that makes me a pushover, well...I guess I am one. Of course, none of that comes before doing what it legal, so certainly I will not put myself in jeopardy just to help him out.

Thanks again~